1. Take your LJ username and replace each letter with the corresponding number (A=1, B=2, etc…).

the_baxter = 20 8 5 2 1 24 20 5 18

2.Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number.
103

3. Make a note of the first digit of this number, then add the digits of the number together.
First digit is 1.

1 + 0 + 3 = 4.

4. Find the post of this number in your LJ. If you don't have that many posts, add the digits together again. Keep doing so until the number is smaller than your number of posts.
My fourth post was entitled “Mutilated Muffins!”, posted on Tuesday July 6th, 2004.

5. Take the digit you noted in step 3, and count that many words into the post.
My word is Tired

6. Use the resulting word in a Google Image Search, and select a picture from the first page.
Post the results for us all to see.

August 9, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

This one might be fun and mindless. And I'm definitely in that mindframe right now. Let's have a go, shall we?

FIRSTS
First job: If babysitting doesn't count, my first job was as a housekeeper in a bed and breakfast in Tacoma. The best thing about it was the tips. Rich people stayed there and left me anywhere from $5-20 for cleaning their rooms. The worst part was that sometimes really old people would stay there for extended periods of time and made the room smell like death. That sounds mean, but it was a really bad smell.

First screen name: It was LintIsGod on AOL. I was really into Rancid and Operation Ivy at the time and that was Tim Armstrong's nickname. And I was a freak. That account might still work cos it was a sub-account under my dad's and he still uses his.

First self-purchased CD: It was In Utero by Nirvana. I didn't make the switch from cassette to CD for a long time. Even after that, I held on the to beauty of the mix tape until a few years ago. I made one too many tapes for people who said “Oh, thanks, but I don't have a tape player”. All that work and they wouldn't even listen to it! That hurts. So I gave up the lost art of tape making. CD making is almost as cool, but since tape making is so much work, I always thought it was one of the most heartfelt gifts you could give or receive. I still have ALL the tapes anyone ever made me.

First piercing/tattoo: I got my ears pierced when I was 12. I didn't really want it and I never wear earrings so I think my holes have closed up by now. I got my first tattoo on my 19th birthday after putting a LOT of thought into what I was going to get. I got a shooting star on my lower back to remind me that life is fleeting. That's just the sort of cheesy thing a 19-year-old would do. But I don't regret it cos I still like the look of the thing.

First true love: I thought I was in love twice before I had my first long-term relationship at 19. Who knows, though. Does “true love” mean they aren't bastards to you? Cos in that case it was definitely when I was 19.

First enemy: Hehe. This makes me laugh. When I was a sophomore in high school, I had been doing the “rebel” image for 2 years. I was the only one in my school with a pair of Doc Martens. I can say that with confidence because there were only about 1000 people in my school. Only 500 in grades 9-12. One day, I noticed an 8th grader wearing a pair of docs. She had little red streaks in her hair like mine as well. I started calling her “My Clone”. She caught wind of it and was PISSED. Turns out before then she thought I was cool. But after she heard I called her “My Clone” she decided she hated me and I had to pay. One day, we were at the same rock show. She came up to me and said she wanted to “kick my ass”. I had never been in a fight and certainly didn't intend to start with this little kid. I said “I'm not going to fight you, little girl.” This made her even more angry and she kept trying to get me to go outside. But me and my friends just kept laughing at her and finally she gave up. I think she was pretty embarassed after that and never talked to me again. I don't know if she's my first “enemy” but that's what I thought of when I read that question, so there it is.

LASTS

Last big car ride: Stabbin' Cabbin!

Last kiss: This morning when Dom and I left for work. Awwww! [barf]

Last library book checked out: “The Martian Chronicles”. I'm reading it right now and loving it! I read it when I was a kid and thought it was boring but reading it now, I understand why. It's pretty chock full of socialist metaphor.

Last movie seen: Anchorpoop.

Last beverage drank: Water. Boring.

Last food consumed: Some really gross rice crackers that were badly in need of some MSG.

Last phone call: Does my job count? A co-worker in Portland asking me to fax some documents to him. If that doesn't count then…I don't know. Who cares?

Last CD played: Pulp “This Is Hardcore”. The older I get, the more I relate to that album. Is that scary?

Last annoyance: Being at work.

Last pop drank: Safeway Select Cola at some point over the weekend. I've really been curbing my soda intake. Good for me.

Last ice cream eaten: A little homemade sundae last week.

Last time scolded: I don't know, but I'm sure it had to do with something at work and I'm sure it was by the 'Lilest Dictator.

Last shirt worn: The one that's on me.

I…
I am: bored.

I want: To be at home.

I have: A lot of work to do.

I wish: I didn't have a lot of work to do.

I hate: this job

I fear: Getting caught not doing work.

I hear: “Band on the Run” on the radio. I hear it at least once a day as well. Hooray for radio rotation.

I search: For another word for “chums”.

I regret: Trying to talk down the price of that Crispin Glover painting.

I love: Sleeping in.

I always: Eat breakfast

I never: Vote Republican

I dance: Like the wave of the ocean romance.

I sing: Like a lark.

I cry: At certain episodes of Buffy The Vampire Slayer

YES or NO:

You keep a diary: Does this thing count? Cos if not, I have my jounals full of terribly poetry from when I was depressed as well.

You like to cook: Yes

You have a secret you have not shared with anyone: I'm sure there must be something, but it's not intentional. I don't like to keep secrets. They make me feel dirty. And not in that good, Xtina Aguliera kinda way.

DO YOU…?

Have a crush: Many. I'm a very lusty person. I also have lots of non-sexual crushes.

Want to get married: Not especially.

Get motion sickness: Sometimes, but I'm usually asking for it by reading in the car.

You’re a health freak: “Do you you're a health freak”. That doesn't make any sense, but ok. I'm becoming one as I age and my body starts falling apart. I dont like it though. The ice cream calleth.

FAVORITES
Number: The one that means I won.

Color: Red

Day: We've covered this. The ones where I don't have to work.

Month: They're all good in their own way.

Songs: The ones that I like.

Season: See question about months.

Drink: The good thing about drinks is that there are so many of them and they all serve a different function. Milk is very different from water but I love them both. Take that, meme.

Alcohol: The kind that doesn't give me a horrible raging hangover in the morning.

PREFERENCES
Cuddle or make out: Both are pretty good.

Chocolate milk or hot chocolate: Cocoa.

Milk, dark, or white chocolate: Milk.

Vanilla or chocolate: Depends on what the vanilla is in.

IN THE LAST 24 HRS, HAVE YOU…

Cried? I got a little misty when I got an email from my friend who told me his father had passed away. I never met his father, but the email itself was a sort of eulogy and it was very beautiful.

Helped someone? I made Dom some toast last night. Not exactly nobel prize winning stuff but it's something.

Bought something? Of course. It's pretty hard to get through a day w/o money changing hands for something or other. I bought some orange juice this morning.

Gotten sick? Just got over something, actually.

Gone to the movies? Sadly, no.

Said ‘I love you’?: Yes.

Written a real letter: Not yet, but I'm about to write my PETA action letters.

Talked to an ex?: Yes.

Missed an ex?: Yes but not like that. We're friends now.

Written in a journal?: Does this count?

Had a serious talk?: How serious? Only if “we're poor” counts.

Missed someone? Yes.

Hugged someone? Yes

Is that the end? That ended up being kinda long. But only because I feel the need to expound on everything. Hopefully some of you will enjoy this one.

August 4, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Here's 10 questions that have nothing to do with anything or each other. Rawk!

1. An artist paints your portrait while you are engaging in one of your favorite activities…what would you be doing? What would the title of the portrait be? I would be lazing out on the couch watching “Best Week Ever” on VH1. It would be called “Wasted Youth”.

2. You come in a bottle and you have magical properties, what are you? Examples: genie, pancake syrup, etc… What would be on your instruction label? Coming in a bottle gives you magic properties?! Wow! But seriously, I would be HP sauce. Those who consume me (preferably on beans on toast) would become British. My bottle would say “Now with 50% more carbs. Shake well before each use.”

3. You've just been selected as a poster child for a make-believe organization. What is the organization and why have they specifically chosen you? I am the poster child for pretending I'm working when I'm actually filling out memes. It would be the Association for Apathetic Society.

4. “You can fly, you can fly, you can fly”! …and you are NOT Peter Pan! Who or what are you? Richard Branson.

5. If you had a vanity horn on your vehicle (one which plays a song) what song would your horn blow to announce your arrival? Eye of the Tiger.

6. You have the opportunity to make a movie with your favorite star, who would the star be and what would the title and the tag line be? Example: Richard Dreyfuss :: Jaws :: Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water Obviously I would make a movie with Crispin Glover in it. It would be called “Rice Crispy's” and the tagline would be “Crap, snackle and mop”. It would be a documentary wherein I eat brunch with Crispy at Werner Hertzog's house. Jeff Goldblum would also be there.

7. The lead story on the Eleven O'Clock News is about you … what have you done? “Filmmakers Baz Luhrman and M. Night Shlamalalalan have been bludgeoned to death by an unidentified assassin. The only clues to this horrible murder are in a polemic letter left by the assassin at the scene of the crime, wherein the killer claimed the filmmakers films were actually “turds dressed up as christmas presents” and they were “shitting in the mouths of America and calling it a sundae”. The manhunt is on to find the murder of these two beloved artists. We will bring you updates as they arrive.

8. Blue laws are absolutely ridiculous laws that are still in law books across the nation. Example: In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Pick something that annoys the heck out of you and write the law against it. It is unlawful to wear those goddamned little “O.C.” frilly skirts that barely cover your ass and make you look sluttier than a drunken Paris Hilton. Especially if you are over 20 or under 18.

9. If you were in the story Alice In Wonderland, what character would you be and why? The dormouse. I like to sleep in teapots.

10. If it did make a sound, what sound would your head make when you shake it? It would make pooping sounds because pooping sounds are funny.

August 2, 2004
Categories: Dear Diary, Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment