what makes you so nervous?

If I may quote Bill The Cat, “ACK!”

I can't take it! It's only 9:00 and I'm already FREAKING OUT. Everywhere I turn there's someone talking about the election. Luckily, living in Seattle as I do, most of it is liberal chatter. Pat Cashman is making light of it on the radio with a re-working of “Bohemian Rhapsody”. There's “fun” little blurbs and things all over the place. Zach Galifianakis sent his newsletter subscribers a plea to vote for Dukakis. (But in all seriousness to vote Kerry, obviously). Nonetheless, I am TERRIFIED and I feel like I should just lock myself in a sensory deprivation chamber until later tonight to avoid having a panic attack. Especially when I think about Faye's (hopefully not prophetic) freudian slip uttered last night wherein she called tomorrow “The Day After America”.

In the meantime, if you voted absentee, you can check to see if they received your ballot heyah. I checked mine days ago. It says they received it so I've done all I can do.

November 2, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

descendant ravish opacity

Grrrraaarrg!
It is insanely busy here today. (I should clarify by saying that I am insanely busy). I've not taken my break yet. When I do, I shall have to do a post office run so it won't be entirely a break. I am not pleased.
I want to talk all about the weekend but it will have to wait till tomorrow. Which is probably good because I will need to distract myself with happy thoughts. I was unable to eat lunch today because my stomach was all a-flutter.
That is all for now.
Back into hell like Meat Loaf.

November 1, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Worst Halloween Costume Ever

This is supposed to be a list of the worst Halloween costumes ever. But if you ask me, a lot of them would be pretty damned hilarious in modern times. I particularly like Small Wonder.

October 11, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

This is all frighteningly familiar.

The ones I actually agree with are in bold. The rest paint a clear picture as to why I moved away from there. Comments in italics.


You Know You're a Southerner When…

You have drunk tea/water/any beverage out of a mason jar.

What do you mean it's unusual to pray at football/baseball/basketball games?

Biscuits go great with ANY meal!

You know the difference between sweet tea and tea with sugar mixed in it.

You know that Methodists are just Baptists that can read. Methodists can read?

Forget roasted peanuts, you like your's boiled.

You know there's more than one way to have your okra.

The War between the States was about State's Rights, of course! And the Gulf war was about oil. And the current war is about “tur-ists”

Wally World is what you call Wal Mart.

You've been to the World's Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party at least once. Wasn't of drinking age when I lived there. But I knew about them.

Florida's just different. It's worse, but not that different

If you're a guy, you've worn shorts with boots.

You love going to the State Fair, and the Rattlesnake Roundup, and the Chicken Pie Festival, and Mossy Creek, and Buckarama, and……. etc etc etc.

You call people of all ages sir or ma'am. I had to when I lived there. It's rude not to. But I only call older folks that now.

If you're a girl, you've been pet-named either sugar britches, darlin', or butter bean. Only by waitresses

Sure you know Bubba, he lives two houses down in that nice triple wide with the above ground pool behind it.

Here's a tough decision: Sweet Potato Pie or Peach Cobbler??

Jeff Davis and Bobby Lee are national heroes!!

You haven't ever seen snow, but you sure would like to!

You say/have said any of the following, “I reckon”, “Mash that button”, “I about fell out”, or “Hey ya'll! Watch this!” {{{Shiver}}}

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from the South.
Get Your Own “You Know You're From” Meme Here

More cool things for your blog at
Blogthings

October 5, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Wanna see something disturbingly hilarious?

Click here.

September 24, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

25432

I haven't done a meme in a while. I haven't found any good ones. So while I'm still looking, enjoy this hilarious archive of rediculous senior photos . This is in honor of my little “picture day revisited” moment yesterday. Can't wait to see how those turned out.

September 16, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Holy Weirdness!

I just checked the mail and got a birthday card (and $25 check) from my crazy aunt!!! Now, when I say crazy, I don't mean in a wacky, flower hat wearing way. I mean I haven't heard from her since she was commited when I was 11 after she physically attacked my grandmother, and stole her car. I noticed on the return address that she's still got her married name even though she divorced over 15 years ago. Also, she wished me a happy 25th birthday. I'm 26. She signed the card “love as always”. I really want to know who gave her my address because none of my family members admit to speaking to her
WEIRD.
Anyway, I'm gonna go watch “The Office” until it's party time.

September 11, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

50 stupid questions

1. What year was the best year of your life? Well, I hope it hasn't happened yet but I had a pretty fun year in 97/98. Also, this year has been pretty fun.
2. One animal or insect that Noah should have left off the ark? Motherfucking Mosquitos.
3. Do you make a wish before blowing out your birthday candles? I don't know.
4. Do you generally open your bills on the day that you receive them? Yes. To see when the last possible day I can pay them is.
5. How many pillows are on your bed? Four. Two are mine.
6. Favorite ice cream flavor? Why do they always ask this? Cookies n' Cream
7. What is the most dominate color in your wardrobe? Pink. Hahahahahaha.
8. Have you ever seen a ghost? Maybe…I saw an amorphous green thing about a foot above my head once and it freaked me the hell out.
9. Would you rather go to a carnival or circus? Carnival. But neither, really.
10. Favorite meal: breakfast, lunch, or dinner? breakfast.
11. Your favorite fictional animal? Eh? You mean, like the Jack-a-lope? I'm gonna go with the giant talking black demon cat in “The Master and Margarita”. His name is Behemoth. Ever since I have wanted to name a giant cat Behemoth.
12. Have you ever flown first-class? No.
13. Would you go on a reality show? None that have been created thus far.
14. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic about the future? Optimistic. Sometimes.
15. Pancakes or waffles? They both have their merrits, but you can't beat a big fluffy pancake.
16. If you could own a home anywhere in the world, where would it be? We've seen this one before. I would go to London with plenty of money.
17. Your favorite Soup of the Day? Broccoli and Cheese.
18. What site is a must see for all visitors to your city? The Cinerama.
19. Can you recommend a good restaurant in your city? I can reccommend a TON of good restaurants.
20. You go to the zoo; What is the one animal that you want to see? Ephelants.
21. Potatoes, rice, or pasta; Which is your favorite? Pasta.
22. What is the best movie that you've seen this year? Apparently, it's going to be Napoleon Dynamite.
23. One of your favorite books when you were a child? Really young: “Good Night Moon”. Older: “A Wrinkle in Time”. Older still: “The Vampire Lestat”. And then I read Salinger.
24. What in your life are you most grateful for? My friends.
25. You are home alone and use the bathroom; do you close the door? Of course not.
26. What is your favorite small appliance? The toaster.
27. Salty snacks or sweet treats? Salt lick.
28. Are you usually a little early, a little late, or right on time? A little late to work, a little early to everything else.
29. What is the most daring thing that you have ever done? I don't want to answer this question again.
30. Have you ever met someone famous? Yes!!!! :) Famous to me, anyway. Zach Galifianakis, Steve Burns, Ron Jeremy, The Stella Boys, the guiarist from Rancid, Larry Livermore (who also kissed a friend of mine), and soon: Wright and Pegg.
31. What was one of your favorite games as a child? Dr. Mario.
32. At what age have you looked your best? 19. But I didn't know it.
33. One person that never fails to make you laugh? Faye.
34. What was the first music that you ever bought? The soundtrack to Footloose.
35. If you could change one thing about your family life when you were a child, what would it be? Sane mother.
36. What is the one thing that you cook that always receives compliments? Zookies.
37. From what news source do you receive the bulk of your news? MSN. That's terrible, I know. But it's the first page that comes up at work.
38. In the last calendar year, how many people have you told that you love them? God, I don't know. It's hard to remember who you say that to when you're drunk.
39. Who recieved your first kiss? me.
40. The single most important quality in a mate? Not being a dick.
41. What do you value most in a relationship? Trust, duh.
42. Do you believe that you have a soulmate? Ugh.
43. Do you consider yourself well organized? Only in theory.
44. On average, how many times a day do you look at yourself in the mirror? Every time I go to the bathroom. So a lot.
45. Did you ever make a prank phone call? Yes, when I was a youngster.
46. What one quality do you seek in a friend? Like-mindedness, I guess, since I like to go out to drink and see movies and karaoke with my friends. So they have to like that stuff too. And I don't have any deeply religious friends so I guess that's a requirement as well.
48. When you were twelve years old, what did you want to be when you grew up? Not fat or crazy.
49. Do you believe in a afterlife? Part of being Agnostic is that I don't have to answer questions like this.
50. What would you like to accomplish with the remaining years of your life? Something I can be proud of. Hopefully that includes a zombie movie or two.

August 11, 2004
Categories: Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Re: believe something is so hard for someone else-not you

I keep thinking about last night's episode of Nip/Tuck. The first season, I got totally sucked in. It was a great drama full of unique storylines and best of all, a graphic surgery montage in each episode. The characters were always surprising me. It was great. This season, it hasn't quite reached that bar. The storylines are more predictable and heavy-handed and much of it just seems like softcore porn (enough so that if you took a drink every time you saw Christian's ass, you would get drunk in a hurry). However, last night's episode was pretty engaging. A patient claimed to have the stigmata. And then she claimed she did it for attention. And then she claimed it was Jesus. And it went back and forth and I really didn't know what the outcome would be. Part of me was thinking “wow…has this show gone all religious on me?” and another part was thinking that, given past episodes that touched on religion, there was no way the writer would show Christianity in a positive light. This was all set to the tune of one of the main characters, Sean, learning that everything he knew about his family was a lie. His son wasn't his son, but actually his best friend/partner's son. His wife had been lying to him. He had been betrayed. He couldn't prove that the stigmata wasn't real. All these things were tearing him up, till he reached a breaking point, afterwhich he asked the stigmata lady if she was really touched by Jesus. He needed to know because he needed to believe in something. And even though her line was pretty lame (“Don't you kno, there isn't anything to believe in anymore”), I really felt Sean's pain when she said this. It was acted really well. So even though this episode was still not great, it was on par with last season. But no matter. Nip/Tuck is still better than most shows on TV right now. Even if next week is going to be TOTALLY heavy handed (The docs operate on siamese twins…but can the twins survive on their own? Oh my GOD! The doctors are TOOOOOTALLY like those siamese twins!!!! [poop]), where else can you see the bloody surgery of a baby getting it's vestigial tail removed?

August 11, 2004
Categories: Hug Your Television, Uncategorized . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

« Previous Page Next page