NFT Radar: Clever Dunne’s Irish House

It’s kind of dirty and falling apart. Even though they supposedly remodeled the infamous bathrooms, I can’t really tell what they did other than paint. There was a head-sized hole in the wall for a while. But for some reason, every time I go to this place, I have a blast. The occasionally Irish, but mostly punk music selection keeps everyone jaunty. The amusing graffiti in the bathroom distracts you from the grossness. You can turn a hole in the wall into a hilarious photo shoot starring your drunken friends. There’s also plenty to do besides make hard lemonade out of bruised lemons. They’ve got darts, pool and a shiny new shuffleboard table. On Trivia Tuesdays, turn your useless pop culture knowledge into cash and drinking-related prizes. If you get hungry, well, they can’t help you there. But they don’t care if you bring in your own grub from nearby taco, pizza or chicken and jojo vendors. You’ll have a lot of fun without dropping a lot of cash (unless, of course, you get so drunk that you drop your cash). Seems like a clever business model to me.


1501 E Olive Way 98122
206-709-8079

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Red Light

Seattle thrift stores are completely picked over. You have a better chance of getting struck by lightening than of finding a vintage gem at the Goodwill. Thankfully there’s the Red Light. The sizes tend to run a little small and ladies who still have all their ribs might have to root around a little. But it’s usually worth the effort. The prices are surprisingly reasonable as long as you stick to true vintage. Stay away from the “vintage inspired” rip-off racks of new clothes. The Capitol Hill location is superior to the U.D. in terms of selection. It’s also fun to peruse their massive costume room whether or not you have a reason to dress up. Take a minute to peek at the accessory cases containing fun wallets and purses, funky sunglasses and jewelry and seriously badass belt buckles. Whether you’re attending a theme party or just like the old timey look, Red Light should be your first stop on your shopping excursion. But try to get your Halloween shopping done early or sharpen your elbows because the last week of October at either Red Light location is a douchy free-for-all.


312 Broadway E 98102
206-329-2200
www.redlightvintage.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Banya 5

Global warming means cold winters. A recession means busting your butt at work so you don’t get a pink slip. Banya 5, means extreme relaxation to help you forget about these trying times. Unwind like a gangster in this authentic Russian bathhouse. If you want a deep tissue massage or salt scrub, you might have to tap the mattress bank. But you can spend all day in hydrotherapy for only $35. The entry fee includes the hot tub, steam room, tepid pool, sauna and cold plunge. You’ll feel a little like a brick oven pizza in the 200 degree sauna, but a dip in the cold plunge will cool you right off. After that, the tepid pool will feel like a hot tub. Take a break from all that detox with a cup of tea in the lounge. You don’t even have to change out of your swimsuit. You’ll be so warm when you leave that every room you’ll be in for the next several hours will become a steam room. This is exactly how the Russians survive their winter. Well, that and the vodka.


217 9th Ave N 98109
206 262-1234
www.banya5.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: The Honey Hole

It’s a “hole” because it’s dark and warm. The “honey” part comes from the retardedly delicious sandwiches and drinks. Both the veggie and regular BLTs will satiate that persistent bacon craving. A series of Hollywood monikered sammies feature the meats you love uniquely complimented by the perfect cheeses, veggies, and condiments. No less than 3 of them involve honey roasted ham. You can choose to go hot or cold. It doesn’t really matter. Almost everything is heaven between two slices of bread. The only thing I don’t recommend is the too-literally named Dirt Burger. Nothing helps wash away a bad day at work than a Honey Hole happy hour. $3 pints and $3.50 fresh juice wells are the ideal accompaniment for your comfort food. It’s time to relax under the warmth of red lighting in a cushy booth and pack on the winter calories and this is the place for it. They have also have pizzas and stuff but trust me, you’re gonna want the sandwich. No, it’s not a sex shop, but if you’ve ever considered a carnal relationship with your sandwich, it would probably be one from the Honey Hole.


703 E Pike St 98122
206-709-1399
www.thehoneyhole.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Van Gogh Coffee

Van Gogh is the Spiderman of coffee shops; it’s friendly, neighborhoody and kicks the asses of other coffee shops. Starbucks employees have to go to boot camp to learn the customer service techniques that these ladies innately possess. They don’t just know what your “yooj” is. They know your name, your kids and your dog and they genuinely how your day is going. You know that Tukwila coffee stand which draws business with bikini babes? To that I say “whatevs.” You can put a bikini on a monkey but that doesn’t mean it can make a cappuccino. The Van Gogh girls are cute and talented. Your foam has never been so silky and your shot (or shots) will be perfect every time. You can get your drink to go, but you’ll probably want to hang out for a while for the free wi-fi and yummy food. How do you like your sandwich? With eggs and bakey? Classic deli-style? Panini toasted? In pie form? Prefer a fresh cookie or pastry? You got it! You have to wait for the weekend for the quiche. But the personalized attention from your friendly neighborhood barista, you can have every day.


8210 35th Ave NE 98115
206-523-1466
www.cafevangogh.biz

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Vegetarian Bistro

I may be veggie, but I love Dim Sum. I’m always game to visit traditional places with friends and gorge on dessert or receive derisive laughs from cart ladies when I ask if something has meat in it. But at Vegetarian Bistro, the veggie is king. They have all the Dim Sum favorites like Hum Bun, Shu Mai and dumplings, as well as Chinese classics like Won Ton Soup and General Tso’s Chicken. And you can order it all no questions asked. Faux-flesh connoisseurs will delight in their house recipe. The General Tso’s is crispy and tender, its deliciousness agreed-upon by all dietary persuasions. If fake meat isn’t your thing, there are plenty of straight-up vegetable dishes perfectly sauced and ready to sit in your gut for the next 4-6 hours. The only people who won’t be happy here are the needlessly picky and the gluten-allergic. Save room for dessert! The egg custard pies are warm and fresh. The Pumpkin Cakes are almost too cute to eat… almost. The only thing missing (besides the meat) are the carts. Everything comes straight from the kitchen. Rest assured, they’ll still pressure you into ordering more food than you can eat.


668 S King St 98104
206-624-8899

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Mighty O Donuts

I was never really a donut person. I could easily forgo the greasy gut bombs on the board meeting snack tray in lieu of a nice bagel and some shmear. I never boarded the Krispy Kreme Krazy Train. I honestly thought donuts were kind of gross. And then I had a Mighty O. Now, I’m not vegan. Butter and cream marry with sugar just fine and can live harmoniously in my stomach. But apparently, you don’t need ’em. One bite of those cakey, frosted treats and I was in love. And what variety! The usual suspects like sprinkles and nuts sit alongside new classics like French Toast and Lemon Poppy. But their seasonal specials are where they excel. Fall brings Pumpkin and Apple Spice! Other seasons feature Ginger Raspberry, Strawberry Shortcake and Grasshopper (it’s chocolate-mint, silly). What goes better with donuts than coffee? They’ve got that too. And its really, really good. Unfortunately, just because it’s vegan doesn’t mean it’s healthy. Whatever you do, don’t look at the nutrition information on their website. It will utterly destroy the fantasy.


2110 N 55th St 98103
206-547-0335
www.mightyo.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Temple Billiards

As a general rule, I’d avoid Pioneer Square like the plague on a Friday or Saturday. Or any drinking holiday for that matter. But if you’re looking for a good time on a weeknight, and a good time for you includes shooting a little stick, Temple Billiards has got what you’re looking for. They rent their numerous tables by the hour and weeknights. Weekdays are even cheaper if you don’t have a lot going on in the employment department. Refuel with an above-average pizza or sandwich. Among the usual suspects is the to-die for Lil’ Mama pizza (pepperoncinis, Hungarian pickled peppers and mozzarella). They are big enough to share but you might not want to. Wash it down (as you do) with a pitcher of microbrew. If you want the place to yourself, reserve pool tables for private events or rent the downstairs lounge and utilize the DJ booth. On a weeknight, however, there’s not a lot of competition if you’ve got a large group out for an impromptu gathering or for blowing off steam after a hard day’s work. Go ahead, and imagine your boss’s face on that cue ball. I won’t tell.


126 S Jackson St 98104
206-682-3242
www.templebilliards.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Can-Am Pizza

Just when you thought there was nothing new under the pizza oven light, along come those crafty Canadians to shake things up. Forming an alliance with the U.S. of A., and probably inspired by those lenient Canadian pot laws, they’ve done something truly amazing: put Indian food on a pizza. The bad news is, there are only 4 Indian pizza combos. The good news is that two of them involve the word “butter.” The Butter Chicken and Butter Paneer are both marinated in their special curry sauce. The Tandoori Chicken and Palak Paneer have a more traditional pizza flavor but still pack an awesome Eastern punch. If you’re feeling especially punchy, add hot peppers, ginger or cilantro to your pie. If curry isn’t your thing but your still in the mood for some stonerific grub, they also have a taco pizza. That’s right. TACO. PIZZA. Oh yeah, there’s a little more bad news. You gotta go to Bellevue. But even if it’s out of your way, remember: you can always reheat the thing. And if you’re feeling especially entrepreneurial, check their website for info on how you can start your own franchise! Seattle definitely needs us a CanAm.


15400 NE 20th St
Bellevue 98007
425-747-7777
www.canampizza.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

NFT Radar: Noc Noc

If you ever desire to lose an entire Friday to the darkness, I know just the place for you. Happy hour at the goth-themed bar/club starts at 5 pm and offers $1 PBRs and $2 wells. But here’s the killer: If you order a glass of wine ($5), they will upsell you to a bottle and you will take it. Why? An entire bottle is only $8. Throw in a couple of GIANT plates of tater tots or some personal pizzas and you’ve got yourself a party. It’s not unheard of to enter Noc Noc at 5, only to leave four hours later, drunk off your tits and wincing in the still-shining sunlight. It’s a sobering experience, but not sobering enough because try as you may, a night begun at the Noc Noc simply cannot continue past 11. $2 wells, people. But at least you only spent $20. Oh, if you’re so inclined, you can also stay past 9 for the nightly show. They have all manner of gothertainment including DJs, cabaret, burlesque and live music, all with a sinister edge. Allegedly, their burlesque acts really deliver the scary/sexy. Me, I’m in it for the savings.


1516 2nd Ave 98101
206-223-1333
www.clubnocnoc.com

X-posted from Not For Tourists.

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