ParentsTV.org released a list of the top 10 best and worst shows for family viewing. In other words: the top 10 lamest and 10 most interesting shows on TV. They couldn't even find TEN shows for Jesus. Too bad, Jesus.
guys, where are we?
I hate “Lost”. Tonight Faye and I realised the thrill is gone. Was there ever a thrill to begin with? Or was “Lost” just a rebound from “Angel”? I don't know. All I know is I'm watching “Veronica Mars” with Faye from here on out.
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WEEKEND RECAP
FRIDAY
We began the evening by stopping at the Shitty Market in our old hood for movie snacks, before strolling down to Pacific Place to see The Brother’s Grimm. I was delighted to find not only BOTTLES of Blackthorn’s for sale, but also CANS of Strongbow. I felt like I was back in London for a brief moment. The Strongbow beckoned me and I had to purchase a 4-pack for the movie.
Oh Terry Gilliam. How the mighty have fallen. The movie wasn’t BAD certainly. But one has come to expect more from such a man than a cliché script, fairly ho-hum visuals and a whole bunch of jokes about the French. There were one or two cool Gilliam-esque special effects and I must say that the acting was, for the most part, enjoyable. Matt Damon isn’t terrible, even if his accent is (it’s reminiscent of a region of England that Meep would call Genericshire). Heath Ledger was only as annoying as his lines, though he played his character inexplicably gay. Perhaps he was preparing for his upcoming gay cowboys eating pudding film? Jonathan Pryce was, well, Jonathan Pryce, and therefore great, if not underused. It was delightful to see Gareth, even though he is well on his was to Type-cast Town. Overall, however, the film was a bit of a yawn, and that hurts coming from the man who made Time Bandits. It was almost saved by a hinted-at moment of homoeroticism, but they chickened out. Damn you, PG-13!
Meep, Dom and I all felt similar about our luke-warm feelings toward the film. Borg liked it. Krk, a die-hard Python and Gilliam fan, was pretty devastated. So devastated, in fact, that he could only go home and go to bed. The rest of us went back up the hill for a late-night snack and drink at the Canterbury. I was only two Strongbows ahead of everyone else. The Canterbury was fairly uneventful apart from the French-fry orgy.
SATURDAY
I had planned to go to yoga but I decided to forgo exercise for finishing Season One of Battlestar Galactica. As most of you know, it ended in true That-Carnivale-Guy fashion by making everything very open-ended and effed up. Thanks, guy! Even if you are sometimes mediocre, you really know how to leave your audience hungry for more. Luckily, Ben is going to get us caught up on Season Two thanks to his TeVo.
I did my yoga video, which is in no way as intense as the Bikram, but still reasonably effective, and then we got ready to go to Brugos’ Birthday Dodecacathelon. Oh happy day! We loaded the DDR in the car and the Troika + Sherrard headed Brugos-way for a day of games and drinking!
Well, games for everyone else. For me and Meep, it was all DDR all the time. Some of the games we didn’t participate in included Tang (something to do with speed-drinking), Egg-Tossing, Botchee Ball (sp?), and Keg Stands. To our surprise, Sherrard took part in the Keg Stands not once, but TWICE, consequently propelling him into instant drunkenness very early on. The party was, as Sherrard pointed out, a Sausage Fest. The result of this is many many drunken, shirtless men running around being obnoxious. This isn’t as sexy as it sounds. But I didn’t care. I was playing DDR. Meep and I got in round after round. For a long time uninitiated people would periodically pop their heads in and laugh at us before running to the backyard to binge drink. Eventually, a nice, open-minded couple (of course I’ve forgotten their names) who’d never DDR’d before showed up and were intrigued. They played a few rounds, and before long, they were just as addicted as us. The guy actually turned out to be some sort of prodigy, going from “beginner” mode to “light” (which is a fucking misnomer if I’ve ever heard it) mode with ease. Before long, he was playing everyone in light mode while they stayed on beginner and was KILLING the competition. Amazing. After dinner, Meep and I started drinking. For a while, the alcohol seemed to be helping. But only for a little while…
Things started to get a little hazy after that. I noticed the house was getting pretty trashed. I feel kinda bad for the Birthday Boy, who doubtless spent all day yesterday hung over and cleaning. I know there were conversations in the backyard, people eating raw eggs and running laps, a pie-eating contest, Borg, and some other guy jamming in the basement with Dom on drums. Meep and I sang “El Scorcho”. There was some playing with Brugos’ cat, Lucy. There was a crazy Russian guy who broke all Keg Stand records (I think his best was 45 seconds or something) and then passed out on the lawn. There were some drunk jerks (who were probably jerks sober as well) running around insulting people. There were some drunken declarations of admiration (in which I participated). And finally, there was karaoke on the X-Box. The selection was rather limited but I sang not one, but TWO Skid Row songs and had a fucking blast. I also got in a horrific rendition of “Cum On Feel the Noise”. Luckily, I got help on both that song and “I Remember You”. I need more butt rock on our at-home karaoke system, man. It reminded me of sophomore year of college when I hung out with Beth, Allison, Ann and KT at their on-campus house. Erik would pull out the acoustic guitar and we would sing all the butt-rock favorites until the sun came up. I’m telling you, Warrant is the perfect campfire sing-a-long band.
ANYWAY, at 2 or so (I think), poor Dom had to drive all our hammered asses back to the hill. At least I’m pretty sure he had a good time before people became incoherent.
SUNDAY
I may have had two bottles of Cook’s to myself, but it was over the course of 10 hours (yes, the party was that long. Longer, in fact, as we arrived late. THAT is why everyone was so useless by the end of the night.) That and sweating out the booze as I dance dance revolutioned all night. Furthermore, Dom was an angel with the water-bringing. So all I needed was to sleep in till 11 and I was fine.
Sunday was mine and Dom’s 3-year anniversary. Our big plans started with beginning Deadwood Season One. Then we showered and went to the Interbay Golf Course for some mini-golf. The weather held up nicely. Mini-golf was fun apart from the 4-5 year-old girl and her grandma who were speeding through the holes behind us and chasing us through the course. We would have let them play through but they would finish their last hole when we were ¾ through our hole and so it seemed like waiting would take forever. Instead, we finished the whole course in under an hour. Then we stopped at Fred Meyer in Ballard for a quick, romantic shopping trip, before going to dinner at Louis’ Chinese Restaurant. The food was really good, but about half-way through our meal, it became family hour. After dinner, we decided to drive to the U-District to see if we could catch a movie. We decided on The Aristocrats. See Mark, we DO see indie films in the theatre sometimes! We probably should have picked something else though. In retrospect, it seems like a waste to spend $9 on a mini-DV documentary. Overall, the film was interesting, but really not that funny. It wasn’t OFFENSIVE or anything. It was just kind of mediocre humor. Plus, I’m not a very big fan of most of the comedians they featured. Give me the Comedians of Comedy over Drew Carey any day. Plus, I don’t think I like seeing comedies with American audiences. They are so eager to laugh that they don’t really stop to think if the joke is funny or not. They just recognize the fact that they’ve just heard a punch line and so they laugh right on cue. This is, I think, why Meep, Dom and I tend to find ourselves laughing out loud in a silent theatre and vice versa. We actually LISTEN to what’s being said and, if it strikes us as funny, we laugh. It can’t be that our sense of humor is SO VASTLY different than the rest of the country’s, can it?
And thus endeth the anniversary date and the weekend.
NEXT WEEKED: Meep and I celebrate a finished script, and I take Sherwood to Bumbershoot for his Birthday.
under him; he gasped
“Lost” Spoilers Herein
J.J. Abrahms is a fuckhead. Please bear with me while I rant. As usual, there were as many flaws as successes to last night's season finale. Ok, so I must admit that the last 10-15 minutes were pretty goddamned gripping. But to not give us the slightest INKLING of the evil that lurks within the hatch? That's just mean. Leaving Michael floating in the water as he watches Walt being taken away, while Sawyer and Jin, possibly dead, are nowhere to be found was a good cliffhanger. (By the way, Faye totally called the fact that “The Others” were after Walt and not the stupid baby). But there are some holes even in that otherwise cool scene. Like where in the hell do “The Others” get gas for their boat? Or electricity for the giant spotlight on the front? It's sloppy storytelling…unless the island is just like the one in that Huey Lewis and the News video where if they just go far enough, they will find a big resort and civilization and Starbucks. Well, at least we learned more about the Iron Giant. It's pretty certain that the Iron Giant IS, in fact, The Iron Giant, whatwith all the mechanical noises it was making. So at least we got THAT much of a bone. But seriously. A broken ladder with not even a HINT of the evil that Walt was screaming about? G.A.Y. My qualms with Abrahms are thus. He always tries to be the big serial suspense mastermind. But he goes from being totally predictable and unoriginal (Artz might as well have been wearing a red uniform) to refusing to give ANY answers or even INKLINGS of answers to the big questions. It feels he might be less of a genius and more a guy who has no idea where he wants his characters to go. Or maybe it's just that Joss Whedon has ruined me forever. Joss is like that perfect ex that you will never really get over and the standard to which you will hold all future relationships. Will I ever be truly in love with a television show again? The end of Alias last night was fairly Willow/Tara-esque. But less so because I don't care about any of the characters on Alias. I don't know. All I know is that J.J. Abrahms is a fuckhead.
Doh!
I just read the TWOP Recaplet and it's pretty much EXACTLY what I just said above, only funny.
it lives within's new samples.
I am supposed to be working on this stupid crap called cost basis. I won't bore you with a description of what that entails. I'll just say that it's math and it makes my head hurt. Since I have to ask The Lil'est Dictator for help with it, I'm putting it off till after lunch and updating my LJ now. Fuck you, cost basis.
Last night, Faye and I enjoyed a very special episode of the O.C. and an even MORE special bottle and a half of wine. I love Thursday nights.
**SPOILERS HEREIN***
Special guest star George Lucas's goiter was looking particularly lively as he delivered his lines like a robot. Chris Martin annoyed the crap out of us with him sad bastardly warbling as Marissa and Ryan danced in the moonlight, suspicion-free. Summer achieved her episode-long dream of becoming prom queen with her prom jester by her side as the funniest extras in television delivered their unappreciated “ad libs”. Shaun of the Dead officially became mainstream enough to be mentioned on a ridiculously popular hour-long drama. Sadly, there was no mention of another little movie that it supposedly inspired. Caleb's heart melted for the love of a mermaid and then stopped working seconds later, and the episode ended in a surprisingly moving way with Kirstin fucking off to be alone with her bottle of “pure” vodka.
***End Spoilers***
Well, after that, there was naught to do but write a screenplay for an “inspirational” short film called “Retard to Retard” wherein Faye plays not one but TWO “developmentally disabled” persons being brave and heartwarming in a world that was not made for them. We hope to shoot it soon. But first, Faye must prepare for her most traumatic role to date. Look for Faye on Inside the Actor's studio in the coming months, scratching her butt with her Oscar.
God, I miss Tru Calling.
harebrained Dical
I would like to snap this woman over my knee like a twig. After I punch her in her pouty, evil mouth.
Of course I'm just talking about her CHARACTER on Lost. I know the difference between TV and real life. Really, I do.
J.J. Abrahms is a hack.
Last night “Lost” was supposed to be an “all new episode”. But if you tuned in, you know it was actually just a clip show. A fucking CLIP SHOW. I call bullshit on that.
Like an afterburner for your penis.
Is it just me, or is The O.C. getting really weird?
Last night’s episode featured Caleb about to dump his wife for something that most husbands would be excited about but then changing her mind (because he’s plotting something more evil??) , Kirstin being tempted by a guy who is only hot in that early 90’s kind of way, and Zach hinting at being evil himself. And speaking of evil, what was WITH that comic industry party? First of all, there is NO WAY that a publisher who was initially interested in Atomic County would start making all those demands to Disneyfy it. The comic world isn’t governed by the same “standards and practices” that television and film are. Comics push the envelope and are edgy and typically very violent. They also have a built-in demographic so who CARES what the mid-western kids can “relate” to. They don’t read comics to relate. They read them to forget about their own boring, sex-less lives for a while. The O.C. needs a comic consultant to make this storyline more realistic.
And the SECOND weird thing about that industry party was all those industry dudes standing around drinking wine and laughing maniacally. Was that supposed to be as comic-y as it was? Is this some clever subversive way of making The O.C. more artistic? Or are they just losing their minds over there?
As for Tru Calling, hilarity ensued yet again. Highlights include when Tru spoke of her titular “calling”, when porno music played during YET ANOTHER of her bizarrely flirtatious conversations with her brother and when she once again fell “in love” with a guy she knew for two episodes who died. And what’s the deal with all these love interests being “90’s hot”? Is that look coming back or something? This particular stud is reminiscent of Is it just me, or is The O.C. getting really weird?
Last night’s episode featured Caleb about to dump his wife for something that most husbands would be excited about but then changing her mind (because he’s plotting something more evil??) , Kirstin being tempted by a guy who is only hot in that early 90’s kind of way, and Zach hinting at being evil himself. And speaking of evil, what was WITH that comic industry party? First of all, there is NO WAY that a publisher who was initially interested in Atomic County would start making all those demands to Disneyfy it. The comic world isn’t governed by the same “standards and practices” that television and film are. Comics push the envelope and are edgy and typically very violent. They also have a built-in demographic so who CARES what the mid-western kids can “relate” to. They don’t read comics to relate. They read them to forget about their own boring, sex-less lives for a while. The O.C. needs a comic consultant to make this storyline more realistic.
And the SECOND weird thing about that industry party was all those industry dudes standing around drinking wine and laughing maniacally. Was that supposed to be as comic-y as it was? Is this some clever subversive way of making The O.C. more artistic? Or are they just losing their minds over there?
As for Tru Calling, hilarity ensued yet again. Highlights include when Tru spoke of her titular “calling”, when porno music played during YET ANOTHER of her bizarrely flirtatious conversations with her brother and when she once again fell “in love” with a guy she knew for two episodes who died. And what’s the deal with all these love interests being “90’s hot”? Is that look coming back or something? This particular stud is reminiscent of a certain former MTV VJ or the star of this horrific and short lived MTV sci-fi series. Gross.
Also, was the ending where they showed the consequences of Tru “breaking the rules” supposed to be shocking?! “I have de ja vous”. OOOH! The horror! Better not keep breaking the rules, Tru. We don’t want a bunch of people running around getting De Ja Vous. Imagine that chaos that would cause!
God, I love this show!
World’s oldest mum' defends her decision
Is it sad that all week I have been looking forward to mine and Faye's new tradition of “Trashy TV Thursday” wherein we get stoney baloney and watch The O.C. and Tru Calling? I hope not because it is one of my few relaxing joys in life right now. (Most of my other joys being highly stressful. Especially filmmaking. Who's crackpot idea was it for me to become a filmmaker? Oh yeah…mine. Doh!)
Anyway, we all know about The O.C. But for the TRUly uninitiated (gack), Tru Calling is one of the most poorly written, poorly acted and horrifically produced hour-long dramas ever to have made it to a second season. I know it's on Fox but jesus CHRIST it's bad. Laughably so. And it probably won't be making it to a 3rd season. So here is a short list of reasons why you should be watching now (preferably under the influence of some substance or another).
1) Zach Galifianakis. He is one of the funniest “alternative” comedians out there. But his IMDB resume does not reflect that at all. If you've seen his stand-up or Comedy Central special, you become one of the initiated few who can actually smell the bitterness, embarrassment and resentment coming off of him through the cathode tube and into your nostrils. Hilarious!
2) Eliza Dushku's “acting”. For those of you who only saw Dushku's acting on Buffy/Angel, you might thing she's not that bad. You are wrong. She is horrible. She's constantly making these weird faces when she's trying to look “concerned” or “scared” or “serious” and she smiles one of the most disingenuous smiles I have ever seen. But her character is supposed to be PROtagonist. She also has a tendency to look like she's flirting with people whom she really shouldn't be (and probably isn't) flirting with. People like the girl who she was supposed to save last week and her brother. And when she IS supposed to have chemistry with another character, it's SO awkward. Hilarious again!
3) Jason Priestly! Yes, THE Jason Priestly!! The Canadian wonder who captured our hearts on 90210 and has been doing indie films since then. Well, they obviously aren't paying the billz anymore. So now he's EVIL! And it's awesome. Best of all, you can sometimes actually SEE the chord that's attached to the phone with which he is phoning in his performance. Unimaginably funny.
So PLEASE watch Tru Calling before it's too late. Because it's really not worth the price of a rental. But it's definitely worth having on while you kill a few brain cells.
66131
This review bothers me. It’s a review of the new SCTV and Kids in the Hall DVD’s by Sean Nelson. I don’t know why I’m surprised that someone from The Stranger doesn’t like something. I guess it’s because that particular author has expressed a love for Mr. Show in the past. So I only assumed that he would appreciate the genius of the Kids in The Hall as well. I can’t speak for SCTV. I honestly never saw more than clips of that show (on clips shows about comedy). But I CAN defend my favorite 5 comedians from Canada. I realize that Mr. Show is the greatest (and most timeless) social and political commentary that America has in the way of comedy. But sometimes you need a little light-hearted abstraction in your sketch shows. The Kids in the Hall are that for me. And occasionally they WERE kind of dark. (Especially anything that Bruce McCulloch did). So maybe the Chicken Lady got a little old by the third sketch. But you can’t deny Dave Foley’s performance in the first one (particularly his delivery of the line “A beer” in response to the question “Can I get you a beer or would you rather just drink out of the toilet?”). You can’t deny the genius of “sarcastic guy” or the fun of “Daves I know”. Bruce’s troubled teenager character is hilarious and accurate (at least for any girl who was friends with a burnout guy in high school). And what about the Nutty Bunnies? Or Police Department? Or ANY of Bruce McCulloch’s monologues ( “That’s America” especially). Sure, you can mention all the most popular sketches and dismiss them as being played out or unimaginative. But that’s the nature of ANYTHING that can be called “the most popular”. It’s the lesser known gems that I love. Maybe it’s because I never stopped watching Kids in the Hall. I watched the reruns on Comedy Central and then I watched my tapes of those reruns. Seeing the guys live at the Paramount a few years ago was a highlight of my show-going career. I laughed heartily at material both old and new. Maybe they didn't have the biting, unforgiving humor of Mr. Show. But they certainly had a charm all their own. Maybe the work they’ve done since has been embarrassingly awful (with the exception of Bruce McCulloch’s brilliant first album) but there was a time when they were a refreshing voice in alternative comedy. And I’m glad I’m not too much of a bitter old hipster to appreciate that.
Effed by the Wind 
