Scaraoke Aftermath

The stuff of legends! And also the stuff of massive crippling hangovers which Brugos and I had all day yesterday. We managed to clean up most of the cups and bottles (well, it was mostly Justin and Brugos. I tried to help but my rampant nausea made it hard to be upright. So instead I helped by ordering Chinese food). Unfortunately no one had the energy to mop so most every surface in our house is still sticky.

But it was worth it! What a party! Seattle's Best upgraded their karaoke system so everyone sounded like fucking rock stars. I have never felt better singing. And everyone loved my costume even if only 2% knew who I was supposed to be. (For the record, it was Baby Jane, not Alice, though I can see how one would make the mistake. It was very hard to find a little girl's dress in an adult size, so I ended up with one of those “sexy” adult costumes.)

Brugos' Civil War general was also a hit. He had to work in the mutton chops. Mission accomplished.

The most accurate costume of the night definitely went to Elyse, as Amy Winehouse. Uncanny.

There are so many hilarious pictures! I regret not getting a good full-body shot of Roxy who was the lamp from A Christmas Story. Hopefully someone else got one.

Also, the Stranger's Party Crasher showed up with 3 of his friends. The Party Crasher can really bring the karaoke. Hopefully, we will get a write-up for this one.

See all my fabulous pics here!

October 29, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, Picture Pages . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Winter Makes Me Fat

Thank god for another sunny day preventing me from going on carb-loading and inactivity suicide.

October 25, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

These are a few of my favorite things.

I admit, I was skeptical when I first heard there would be a sequel to my beloved Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle. The other movie the director, Danny Leiner, is famous for is Dude, Where's My Car? which I didn't find very funny. But whether or not it's a fluke, Harold and Kumar is a perfect film. How could they possibly improve upon (or even meet the level of) such genius?

Well, this poster is a dammned good start!

Kumar:So where are you going to go now, Neil?
NPH:Wherever God takes me…

October 24, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

How My Time is Spent

I may have dropped my Whole Foods cookie on the floor, but I ate it anyway because it was $5. I didn't know it was $5 until after it was wrung up. It sure didn't taste like a $5 cookie but at least there were no discernible lint bits seasoning it.

I have been reading books about weddings. I justify it by the fact that every book has a counterculture title implication like “anti” and “alternative”. Unfortunately, most of them are still pretty damned annoying. They offer advice like “Moisturize, get a massage, and drink Cosmos with your girlfriends to relax!”, a packing list for your honeymoon (in case your mom is still packing your suitcase for you” and “Eat a hamburger on the day of your wedding! You'll need the protein to give you energy! (If you're a vegetarian, eat a veggie burger.)” PHEW! I thought that I was going to have to throw away 15 years of vegetarianism in order to make it through my wedding day. Luckily, I found one book that I love. It's written by a Seattleite who is an ex-raver and I must admit that after reading the book and her blog, I'm a little obsessed with her. She's sardonic, hilarious (filthy jokes abound) and my kind of candid (meaning she regularly drops the f-bomb. Furthermore, she actually gives useful advice. Unlike the other books I've read, she writes with the assumption that you actually have SOME idea of what's involved in a wedding and, like, how to take care of yourself. And OMG we have so much in common! She appreciates high camp, her mom is new-agey and she is a former rat owner! I'm quite convinced that we would be BFFs.

The internet makes creepy stalkers of us all.

October 12, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, The Printernet . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Life Update w/ Pictures

I've had quite the busy summer. In addition to lots of camping, Brugos and I went to Maui, with the Brugos clan. Also, last weekend, I went to Vegas with a big group of people.

Maui
Maui was amazing. I liked it much better than Oahu. Less commercial touristy stuff and more outdoorsy touristy stuff. We went snorkeling with Sea Turtles and parasailing. We spent lots of time in the water. We went to the jungle and wandered around. It was so beautiful. I also got to meet a very large chunk of Brugos' family including his awesome 90-year-old grandfather. Parasailing is much different than I expected it to be. It feels very safe and secure. We went tandem and it was nice to be up there with Brugos so we could identify the BIGGEST FREAKING MANTA RAY WE'VE EVER SEEN! This thing was at least 10 feet by 14 feet, easily over half the size of our boat, and it was just swimming along on the surface of the clear blue water, scaring the poop out of us with its giant teeth.

Sea Turtles are really mellow and friendly, but it's like a strip club in there. Don't touch them or it's a $60,000 fine, as our guide told us at least six times.

Check out some pictures from Maui here. I tried to only put in one or two cliche Hawaii sunset pictures.

Vegas
Vegas was as nuts as people say it is. It's non-stop action in a booze-filled 24-hour theme park for adults. And it's a blast. We stayed at the Flamingo hotel with had a very 60's Vegas vibe. I loved it there. We spent a lot of time at the topless pool (where most people remained topped, but it was much less crowded than the rest of the hotel).

On Friday night, Brugos and I saw the Tournament of Kings at the Excalibur hotel. It was jousting with a little bit of fabricated evil thrown into the plot. After a brief nap, we met up with the rest of the gang and wandered around the strip till 4 in the morning. It's really easy to stay awake in Vegas because of the oxygen they pump into the casinos. Lesson #1: Bring your own booze. Unless your at a gambling table, it's fucking impossible to get served. The good news is, it's totally OK to bring your own booze. Everywhere.

Saturday, we used our coupons to enjoy a Champagne Brunch at one of the hotels. Champagne and an all-you-can-eat, genre free buffet for $15! Why not?!

After brunch, we spend time at the pool and also utilized the WATER SLIDE. Later, we got cleaned up and Brugos and I left for our romantic dinner for two at Il Mulino in Caesar's Palace. This is an Italian place Brugos had been to with vendors and said it was the most amazing Italian he'd ever had. And lo, it WAS amazing, if a little overkill on the presentation. This place was CLASS. We got no appetizer (because they bring you 3 different kinds of complimentary bread, salami, cheese and grilled zucchini before you even order your drinks) and shared 2 pasta dishes. We saved a little room for the tiramisu and coffees.

We took our leftover pasta back to the hotel and met everyone (who had gone to a Spaghetti Factory knock off for dinner) to get cabs to the Luxor for Fantasy!, a topless revue. Of course, we were all hoping it would be just like the show in Showgirls. It wasn't, exactly, but it was perhaps the most surreal show-going experience I have ever had. I bought our tickets months ago and apparently that put us right in the front row. Thinking the worst that could happen with these seats was in-your-face-boobies, I wasn't sweating it. But the guy at the box office seemed to be excited about something. Turns out, when you're in the front row, the star of the show chooses a guy to fixate on for the remainder of the show. That guy was none other than my baby. It was fine and all in good fun, but after about the 20th time Stephanie said something to “Chris” in the middle of her act, Brugos actually started to blush a little. In the final number, she even wrote “I heart Chris” on her stomach on magic marker. No shit. It was a very special show for all of us.

And then there was the comedian. He was either the wost comedian ever to take the stage or the most high-concept genius. He was pure text book. He may as well have been wearing a crazy tie and standing in front of a brick wall. His jokes included “Men and women are different.”, “Smokers in airports are funny”, and even, I shit you not, A LORENA BOBBIT JOKE. That lasted 5 minutes. Seriously. Lorena fucking Bobbit. From FIFTEEN YEARS AGO. It was made even more uncomfortable by the fact that he didn't get any laughs. At all. And the sound and light guys actually turned off his mic and spot light at one point. That was the funniest part because it made Shecky mad. And that was what made me think PERHAPS MAYBE he was in on the joke. But probably not.

Anywho, after the show, we had some drinks at Red Square, a communist themed vodka bar. It was here that Brugos and I really started to feel bad. Brugos had been a little sick to his stomach all day, but now we were both kind of ready to be back at the hotel.

As we stared forlornly at the cab line, a limo driver came out of nowhere and offered us a ride for $40. Total. For 8 people. Um…yes!

Brugos and I retired to our room and it was there that he proposed to me. Apparently, he'd been planning it all day and (thankfully) didn't want to do it in public. So there we were in our room, my guy asking me to marry him, me accepting and wanting to show him how deliriously happy I was about the prospect. But rumblings were beginning in our bodies and we weren't yet sure why. We went to the Brunswick’s room to announce the engagement and hang out, but it wasn't long before it became apparent that we needed to be in bed. Or rather, near the toilet in our own room. Lesson #2: Never eat at a Vegas buffet. Even if you have a coupon. You'd think it would be impossible for a vegetarian to get food poisoning. You'd be wrong.

After no sleep and puking all night, we had to get up and check out of our hotel room. Brugos was done and feeling better but I still had some stuff to work out with the toilet. I threw everything into my suitcase and spend as much time supine as possible before we had to be out of our rooms. I began to feel better as we walked around in the sun killing time before our plane left, but it was some time before I keep eat anything again.

Despite food poisoning, it was still one of the best vacations I have ever been on. I can't wait to go back.

See some Vegas pics here!

September 20, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, Picture Pages . Tags: , , . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Turning Frowns Upsidedown

My birthday was awesome. As sad as I was in the days leading up to it about getting older, my friends and loved ones made sure that I couldn't POSSIBLY be sad on the day. B. and I woke up and went to yoga, which we haven't been to in about 4 months. So naturally, it was very difficult for us, but it felt really good too. My back has been bothering me a lot lately (another reason I felt old this birthday), and yoga really did help. My back is sore today but in a good, worked-out-muscles kind of way. Not in a bad, you-sit-on-your-ass-all-day-in-a-cheap-office-chair way.

After we showered, we got dressed up for the evening and went to the Pitch and Putt in Greenlake. We were semi-formal because we had dinner reservations at Canlis. It was pretty fun to be dressed to the nines for nine holes of golf. There was a bit of a backlog on the green so we teamed up with two guys who were behind us, since we were going to keep having to wait with them to play each hole anyway. They were old buddies from Spokane who were playing for a dollar a stroke. They kept apologizing for swearing in front of a “lady”.

Of course, I didn't win the gold, but I did pretty well, averaging 5 strokes per hole. I think it helps to NOT be drunk, if you can believe it. I know -I- didn't believe it. :)

We said goodbye to our golfing buddies and stopped at home quickly before heading to Canlis. We got there a little bit early and waited in the bar, listening to the pianist play frilly piano covers of rock songs.

Once seated, we were handed what we thought was a menu, but was actually a 20-some page wine list. If you like, you can buy a $3500 bottle of something. We didn't like. We knew that even ordering one of their cheapest wines would still be pretty safe. We got a Sicilian red (Planeta) that was, indeed, outstanding. I drank most of it because B. was driving.

Canlis really gives you the star treatment. It made us country folk a little uncomfortable at times. We don't necessarily need you to comb the crumbs off our table during the meal. I wasn't bothered so much by the little wine spill the waiter made that I would have required him to cover it up with a napkin and re-arrange everything on the table. But he did it anyway. For dessert, you get new napkins and when you go to the bathroom, the waiter picks crumbs off your empty chair. On your way to the bathroom ever employee stops and gestures for you to pass in front of them. When you leave, the valet doesn't need to see a ticket. They just see you coming and run to your car, which they already know the make and location of.

Our waiter was a little strange. He was a low-talker. We just nodded and agreed to everything he said, hoping he wasn't saying something like “I put some of my blood in your rissoto. It's necessary to complete the ritual. Enjoy your last meal.” My rissoto WAS amazing though. And so was the creme brulee.

After dinner, we sped over to the Sunset Bowl Lounge and I was overjoyed and overwhelmed to walk into a bar FULL of my smiling friends greeting me with love and hugs and birthday wishes (and presents!). For all my bitching and moaning in the days leading up to it, I've never been so wrong. I love my friends and I am very very lucky to have them.

My loot included:
-A butterfly knife with holster, a middle finger lighter, and some quarters for DDR from Patrick.
-High School Musical Mystery Date, the board game from Meep.
-Skelanimals from Joey and Ellie.
-Pull tabs from Pull Tabs John. (I won $22!)
-A slide whistle from Arsenio and Andy.
-A candle in a Recess Cup from Andy.
-Jimi Hendrix brand vodka from Carly and Scot.
-Lemoncello and an AWESOME black light painting of a Unicorn from the Brunswicks.
-A serenade of Damn Yankees from Elyse.
-A Jesus tote bag from ???? It was left on my chair and didn't have a note. So whoever that was from, thank you. I love it.

Roxy also somehow convinced me to do a Speedy Gonzales with her and B. which involves dropping a shot of Red Bull and something into a pint of beer and then chugging. I can't believe I drank that. Fast. It definitely kept me going for a long time though. B. and I sang Paula Abdul's “Opposites Attract”. B. sang “Patience” for me. I nailed “Stupid Cupid” by Connie Francis. I dueted on “Don't Bring Me Down” by ELO with Meep. Meep sang some Kelly Clarkson (FINALLY). Everyone, it seemed, had a great time.

When the bar closed, we continued the party at the 4A house. Roxy kept my glass of tequila full at all times. Some dancing happened. A lot of syrupy love talk happened, instigated by alcohol but very very genuine. At 4:30, I noticed it was 4:30 and thought perhaps I should go home. I’m sure B., who was sober and my DD, agreed. What an outstanding birthday! Unfortunately, I don't have any pictures. Does anyone else have any?

And the party continues next weekend in Vegas!!!

PS: I have now joined Facebook.

September 10, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

World Gone Mad

I just had something really weird happen to me. One of those “city” moments, I suppose. I was walking to work, as always, my body focussed on getting there and my brain focussed on wanting to be back home in bed, when a woman who was passing me stopped directly in my path, thus forcing ME to stop. She was either mid-forties or a well-worn late thirties. She was dressed like a frumpy office underling so I didn't think anything was amiss with her at first. In fact, I thought perhaps I was meant to know her. She looked directly at me and said, in a very angry tone, “Hey!”. At this point, I was wracking my brain trying to figure out if I knew her and was supposed to smile and say hello or if there was some other reason she'd chosen to stop in front of me. She didn't give me much time to mull this over, however, before she SMACKED ME IN THE ARM. It wasn't painful, but it was hard enough for me to understand that it was MEANT to be painful. “RIGHT HERE!” she said through gritted teeth, and then she WALKED OFF. This whole event lasted approximately 3 seconds, so, naturally, I was left quite stunned. I spun around and shouted the first thing that came into my mind to say: “What the FUCK, lady?!”. But she had already moved on and wasn't about to turn around. It was then that I noticed a witness. A man on a smoke break had seen the whole event transpire. I looked at him looking at me. “What the fuck was that about?!” I said to him. “I don't know that lady. I've never seen her before in my life,” I was compelled to explain. “That was scary,” he said. By now she was at the end of the block, ready to cross the street. And I was left with nothing more than to continue my walk to work. Was she off to punch other unsuspecting peda-commuters in the arm? Or was I an isolated incident? Did she THINK she knew me? Mistake me for a wrongdoer? Or was I simply identified as the temporary cause of all her problems? Is she, in fact, a cleverly disguised madwoman? Or was she, up until that moment, perfectly normal? Sadly, I will be left to ponder these questions forever. I may not even recognize her if I were to see her again, unless, of course, she is still wearing that giant red bow…or she punches me again.

Beware of the red bow!

August 27, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, Seattle . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

ReelTime featured in New York Times Article

The company I work for was featured in a New York Times article this morning. So hopefully this will boost our subscriptions! That guy in front of the computer? That's my boss!

It's not every day you get to see your boss' picture in a major news publication. Unless you work for the government or are Britney Spears' vag waxer or something.

August 6, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Solving The Mystery

Recently I've been frequently asked, by passing men (and teenage boys) on the street to authenticate my rack. I've yet to come up with a short response that I am satisfied with so I have been resorting to scowls. Fortunately, I have a pretty effective scowl. What I find strange about this phenomenon is that this never happened before my breast reduction. Perhaps they just assumed that E cups were obviously fake, but my current D cup could go either way…

It's annoying now, but I'm sure I'll miss the cat-calling when my tits tuck into my skirt.

July 31, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Weekend Recap

Friday
Brugos and I rested and then went to dinner at Tutta Bella for a friend's birthday. It was really good even though the atmosphere was vaguely Spaghetti Factory-ish and our 15-year old waiter was kind of silly. (He made a point to tell us how VERY EXPENSIVE the artichokes on our Antipasti were and he had a really hard time opening a bottle of wine. Come here, sonny. Give that bottle to grandma.)

After dinner we were the yuppiest looking people at El Chupacabra. Their juke box has the Misfits on it. Fuck yes.

Saturday

My dad was supposed to arrive at 11:30am. He was only going to be in town for 24 hours anyway, on his way to California for a business trip. He got as far as Phillie before his flight was CANCELED. The next available flight out was 8:30pm. He would arrive in Seattle at 2:30am. He would not be able to attend the paintball excursion at Fort Lewis for the aforementioned friend's birthday. This made me very sad, but in retrospect, he mightn't have liked paintball. It's brutal. I have one hell of a fuckoff bruise on my arm. It looks pretty awesome. Brugos' neck bled from one hit. I'm not very good at paintball, but I did aid our otherwise underdog team to one victory. I was on the front lines. It was the only time I actually hit anyone. The rest of the time, I got hit. A lot. It also hurt. But running around in the woods in olive green with a paintball gun is FUN. And great exercise. I certainly couldn't do it every day. And it confirmed my suspicions that I would last about 5 minutes in a real war. But I recommend doing it at least once. Even if you think you're a pussy. Because I'M a huge pussy.

We paintballed for 6 hours. Brugos and I went home to shower and rest, with the intention of going out again later. After my shower and some food, I started to feel nauseous. I then threw up. I felt a little better, but not much. I lay on the couch, on Brugos and couldn't move. I assume now that I was dehydrated. But I still couldn't make it out. Just as well because the evening's birthday activity was Big Boy Poker. Brugos left and I stayed in and watched Starship Troopers, having flashbacks from earlier in the day.

Sunday

My dad, finally arrived in Seattle and somewhat rested, came over and we went to Serephina for brunch. I had the most amazing fritatta ever. It contained truffles, so you know it had to be good. People don't fuck around with truffles.

After breakfast, we went to the EMP/Sci-Fi Museum. It's pretty cool to see things like the Power Loader from Aliens and props from Dune, but both “museums” aren't so much histories of music and sci-fi respectively, but histories of Paul Allen's interests. And it really shows. But hey, it's only $15 now to get into both. So you might as well check it out once.

We went to Guaymas for a drink and snack before my dad had to catch a plane to Cali. I hadn't seen my dad in 4 years. We're not estranged. Just busy. But I didn't realize how much I'd missed him. I'd missed him a lot. He's a really good man and a great father. He made some mistakes. Mistakes are inevitable. But parenthood has got to be the most difficult job a person can have. And my dad figured it out pretty well. I can only hope, that should I become a parent, I could do the same.

With my dad off to the airport, Brugos and I had the evening to ourselves. So we went to see Sunshine (see review below) and spent the rest of the night talking about it. It was that good.

July 30, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

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