World Gone Mad

I just had something really weird happen to me. One of those “city” moments, I suppose. I was walking to work, as always, my body focussed on getting there and my brain focussed on wanting to be back home in bed, when a woman who was passing me stopped directly in my path, thus forcing ME to stop. She was either mid-forties or a well-worn late thirties. She was dressed like a frumpy office underling so I didn't think anything was amiss with her at first. In fact, I thought perhaps I was meant to know her. She looked directly at me and said, in a very angry tone, “Hey!”. At this point, I was wracking my brain trying to figure out if I knew her and was supposed to smile and say hello or if there was some other reason she'd chosen to stop in front of me. She didn't give me much time to mull this over, however, before she SMACKED ME IN THE ARM. It wasn't painful, but it was hard enough for me to understand that it was MEANT to be painful. “RIGHT HERE!” she said through gritted teeth, and then she WALKED OFF. This whole event lasted approximately 3 seconds, so, naturally, I was left quite stunned. I spun around and shouted the first thing that came into my mind to say: “What the FUCK, lady?!”. But she had already moved on and wasn't about to turn around. It was then that I noticed a witness. A man on a smoke break had seen the whole event transpire. I looked at him looking at me. “What the fuck was that about?!” I said to him. “I don't know that lady. I've never seen her before in my life,” I was compelled to explain. “That was scary,” he said. By now she was at the end of the block, ready to cross the street. And I was left with nothing more than to continue my walk to work. Was she off to punch other unsuspecting peda-commuters in the arm? Or was I an isolated incident? Did she THINK she knew me? Mistake me for a wrongdoer? Or was I simply identified as the temporary cause of all her problems? Is she, in fact, a cleverly disguised madwoman? Or was she, up until that moment, perfectly normal? Sadly, I will be left to ponder these questions forever. I may not even recognize her if I were to see her again, unless, of course, she is still wearing that giant red bow…or she punches me again.

Beware of the red bow!

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