Two Memes in One Week!

This is a long one…

Leather face is in the kitchen. Will you fight to victory, or hide from him?
Well, if it's to MY victory, then yes.

Would you chew gum after someone else already has?
With my salary, I can afford new gum. Luxurious!

Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true?
N/A. I don't really want to work for Jump Street anymore.

Would you do anything for someone?
A couple people. Because I know they love me enough to not ask for anything unreasonable.

Pretend you're 15 deep in beers. Describe what you would be doing now?
Either getting my stomach pumped or letting my esophegus do the pumping.

When did you last have a home cooked meal?
Last night. I made a birthday dinner for my baby. I'm apparently not too shabby at cooking meat even though I don't get to taste-test it.

Do you own a gun?
My wit is like a gun.

Do you have a porn collection?
A small collection of European art porn.

Have you ever gotten naked at a party?
Only at parties for two.

Name someone you miss
Meep.

Do you like pedicures?
No. I like having tough feet.

Are you health freak?
I'm not too crazy with it but I try not to eat anything that I know will only do harm to my body.

First vacation?
First one I remember is Cancun when I was 4 or 5.

Athletic or lazy?
Somewhere in between. I like being active but I am by no means athletic.

Intelligence or attraction?
They are not mutually exclusive.

Have you ever run away from home?
That's kind of what I did when I went to college. Never looked back. And from 9-14 I kept a packed backpack in my closet just in case.

Have you ever cried when someone died?
Of course.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
yourself? Mostly.
miracles? Mostly not.
love at first sight? Kiiiiiind of.
sex on the first date? Guilty.
kissing on the first date? No kissing. Just straight to penetration.

Are you old enough to vote?
Many times over.

Have you ever liked someone solely because of their appearance?
Yes. But attraction died if they couldn't back it up with their personality.

When was the last time you cried?
Don't remember exactly. I'm kind of an easy crier so that's a good thing.

What's your favorite curse word?
Cunt.

Still have pictures of your ex?
I don't get rid of pictures. I don't believe in revisionist history.

What is the last thing you said aloud?
“OK. Let's do that.”

What's the last sporting event you watched?
The 5th annual Dodecathelon. I watched it from the field and took 3rd place!

What color is your watch?
Cell phone-colored.

What do you think of when you think of Australia?
Marsupials.

What is your favorite number?
11 or 42.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time?
Mary Janes.

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
29

How did you get one of your scars?
Trying to plow through a door with my walker when I was 2.

Are you currently drinking?
No.

How many years have you taken a language?
4 years of Spanish. 1 year of Latin. 29 years of English.

Who's on speed dial 2?
My dialing fingers are fast enough.

Do you wish on 11:11?
No. But I love it when I see it. Cos I LOOOOVE the number 11!

Good advice if you ever go camping?
Don't get high before a hike.

Are you a bad influence?
People have free will.

Have you ever been called a bitch?
Yep!

What song is on?
“Humming Computers” by The P.C.s

Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library?
I have The Ozzman Cometh album.

Do you sing obnoxiously in the car?
I sing endearingly.

Do you ever sing obnoxiously in the shower when no one is home?
See above. I prefer an audience though.

Have you ever stripped?
Daily.

Do you like fire?
OMG DO I!!!

Did you draw pictures for your first crush back in elementary?
My art was for me. If anyone else liked it, that was a bonus.

Have you ever written a poem or story about your life?
I wrote a lot of poems. You have to, to get your Goth Card.

When you open your closet, what is the dominant color?
I think we all know the answer to that.

Baskin Robbins or Coldstone?
I like Dryers. Is that weird?

Fly or road trip?
Whatever it takes to get there. Though I LOVE stopping at roadside diners and driving through podunk downs.

Who can make you blush without even trying?
No one. I am unblushable.

If alcohol were banned, what would your reaction be?
Bath tub brewery.

Do you believe world peace is possible?
Nope.

I'm a genie. Name your wish.
A functional socialist state.

Name one thing about the opposite/same sex that automatically turns you off?
Fake tan.

Name one thing about the opposite/same sex that automatically turns you on?
Wolfman-like harriness.

Do you shampoo first in the shower or soap?
Soap. Then shampoo. Then condition while I shave.

Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parent's house?
Dorm.

Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry?
Strummer. Elliott Smith.

Who are more complicated – guys or girls?
Girls. Needlessly so.

What's your favorite store?
Amazon.com

What is your favorite thing to do on a Friday night?
Happy hour followed by Karaoke!

Do you like mustard?
Beaver brand sweet and spicy mustard is quite possibly the greatest condiment known to man.

What do you tell yourself when times get hard?
That I am still very very fortunate all things considered.

Do you enjoy giving hugs?
Actually, I kind of feel awkward giving them with the acception of a handful of recipients.

What books, if any, have made you cry?
“Life After God”, “Perv: A Love Story”, “A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius”.

Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I forgave my father.

Have you ever been suspended or expelled from school?
No. I liked school.

Where are you?
The Bat Cave.

Name your favorite animal?
I couldn't possibly choose a favorite, but among my favorites are cats, rats, pigs, and goats.

Are you too forgiving?
It's good to forgive.

Have you ever been in a castle?
Yes!

Did you like your high school guidance counselor?
No. She had no idea how to guide me.

Who was the last person that made you cry?
My grandma died. SHE didn't MAKE me cry, but her passing did.

What is one thing you've learned about life?
You have to make your own justice.