You Do It To Yourself, You Do

And that’s why it really hurts…

I had a perfectly good recommendation from a friend for a hairdresser. I went to her recommendation last time and was happy with the results. But that recommendation has very limited hours (weekends and evenings) and takes over two hours for a cut. I needed something in a hurry this time. So I went to Rudy’s. I brought a picture for the rest of my hair and had the very simple description of “Bettie Page bangs” for the apparently problematic fringe portion of my head. This girl had a picture of Bettie Page on decorating her station so I thought she knew what I was talking about. I relaxed when she cut the rest of my hair just perfectly. Then she dried my hair and told me to close my eyes because she was about to start on my bangs.

I think that “bangs” should be an entire semester long class in beauty school because no one seems to know how the fuck to cut them. Every new hairdresser seems to think my bangs need more bangs and they cut them without asking. It wouldn’t be such a big deal if I didn’t have my bangs died a different color than the rest of my hair. Do they really think I’ll be totally cool with walking out of the place with black stripes in my purple bangs? It’s obviously a look I worked hard to achieve.

Even if I was OK with the extra bangs, I would not be OK with how she gave them to me. The new bangs aren’t in an even part. It’s all willy nilly. So now I’m going to have to invest in some barrettes and hair pins while I grow this shit out. I shouldn’t have to be doing this again. I know it’s my fault for waiting too long to go to inconvenient but sure-thing hairdresser. But do I really deserve this?:

I don’t even know what to do with this. Even after I pin back the extra bangs the remaining bangs are still pointy and weird. Normally I wouldn’t worry about it this much. It’ll grow back and be fine. But this is pretty fucked up. I could have done a better job myself…when I was 5. Is it really alright to send your client away looking like this?:

Dear Baxter,
Let this be a reminder to you, you masochistic moron. No more short cuts. Go to the lady who knows what she’s doing. ALWAYS. Even if you have to wait an extra long time or block out a big part of your Saturday. Otherwise it’s Barbie hair massacre for you. And you’ll still have to pay for it.



  1. Fiddlesticks! for some reason, my douchey new company now blocks flickr, so I can’t see the photos. But all the same, I feel your bang pain. The worst part is that any other mistake is not that big aof a deal…but your bangs are right in the front and they only reprieve is often pinning them back…and if I wanted to have a bare forehead, I WOULDN’T HAVE BANGS, DUDE.

    • Holy crap, just got around to the pictures. WHY?!

  2. Sorry Heather is such a pain! And boo for bad haircuts! You’re still cute, though

    • I feel bad because she’s actually quite good at cutting hair. But convenience, it turns out, is important to me.

      • Why does the person who was recommended to you take 2 hours to cut hair, btw? Does she do something special? Happy ending?

      • She is very talkative and has a baby. Also, she cuts hair out of her home.

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