Klostermeme VII

Chuck Klosterman IV is rife with meme fodder. The Klostermeme series features these questions, my answers, my speculations on how Klosterman would answer and an invitation to the reader to answer these questions in the comments!

pillYou are offered a Brain Pill. If you swallow this pill, you will become 10% more intelligent than you currently are; you will be more adept at reading comprehension, logic, and critical thinking. However, to all other people you know (and to all future people you meet) you will seem 20% less intelligent. In other words, you will immediately become smarter, but the rest of the world will perceive you as dumber (and there is no way you can ever alter the universality of that perception).

Do you take this pill?

My Answer: No. Part of the usefulness of intelligence is being able to convince other people that you have good ideas which should be taken into consideration. You would have a much harder time in work and social situations. Unless your current level of intelligence is so low that it hinders day-to-day functions, there is no reason to take this pill.

Klosterman Theory: He would not take the pill, as he is concerned with public perception.

Put your answers in the comments!


Weekend-ish Recap

Since I was sick this weekend, I didn't really do much so I kind of felt like I was cheated out of a weekend. That is why I am including last night in my recap. It was kind of like my delayed Friday if I had an early mellow Friday but still went out.

Sick. Did nothing.

I was still not feel tip top, but I was kind of stir crazy so we got out of the house. I had a bit of bad luck with cab drivers taking me to and from the doctor on Friday and ripping me off so I had Brugos teach me how to drive the Stang in case of emergencies. She's a bit tricky, and my driving skills are rather rusty, but I think I can handle her if I need to. We picked up Brad and then I drove us to Ballard to the Chai House with the travel Cattan. We played a game and then drove back to the House of Fun to hang out. We played another game and gorged ourselves on girl scout cookies whilst listening to Brad's MTV Party to Go Vol. 2 CD. At first, I mocked the CD, but after reading the track list, I got a little excited at the prospect of listening to PM Dawn, The KLF and DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince. It was a pretty fun little nostalgic trip.

Brugos and I dropped off the Stang and caught the bus downtown to Marrakesh for Erin's birthday dinner. Erin had reserved half of the back room for her 30 guests. Since we arrived early, we managed to score a seat on the couch rather than the floor pillows. My back was grateful for our promptness. We soon learned that when you are a party of 30, you waive certain rights like being able to choose what you order. We told the waiter who were vegetarians and that was the extent of our choices. He handed out our towels and we may have committed the first faux paux of the evening, passing things down. He seemed frustrated that we weren't keeping the towels we were handed.

Towels, it turns out, are for more than just drying your hands after they are washed in the big basin. It is also to keep the copious amounts of crumbs off of your clothes that fall when you have to eat with your hands. Course after course arrived, each time with one vegetarian option. The waiter was a little bossy, demanding that all of the vegetarians sit together. I guess it was along the lines of him having an aversion to passing things. We didn't mind though.

During our meal, we caught the belly dancer show. She was dressed like She-Ra and danced with a sword on her head. If only gamers realized how much they would enjoy a place like Marrakesh.

After eating for 3 solid hours, we lumbered over to Re-Bar for Bacon Strip: A half dance/half drag show night. Brugos and I realized that we were far too full to do any dancing and we were both still feeling kind of under the weather, so after watching the first act of the drag show, we took our leave. The show started with two men doing a strip tease to “In The Navy”, which resulted in stripey and camo jockey shorts respectively. That part was very enjoyable. The drag show was kind of half-assed. Most of the performers didn't seem to know their songs that well and were a bit off. The costumes were interesting though and I always enjoy the humor that a drag show affords.

I wish we'd been a bit more energetic because the music they were playing was pretty good and it was a rare opportunity to party with both Erin and her awesome mom. Alas, it was not to be.

After (what I assume was much needed) sleeping in till noon, we lazed around the house for a bit. So as not to waste the nice weather, we headed to the tennis court. I was playing pretty poorly. Even worse than last time. I blame the dizzying side effects of my antibiotics. Luckily for Brugos, Darshan showed up so he was still able to get in a good game while I watched the bizarre high school sports photo shoot going on in the neighboring basketball court. At least I assume that's what was happening with a girl in an oversized basketball jersey (and nothing else) shouting “GRRRRR! We're number ONE!” and having her picture taken by 4 guys.

Later on, Brugos and I watched the “Comedians of Comedy” documentary (mostly hilarious, slightly sad) and then Brugos' high stakes poker buddies arrived. I watched some more TV and then went to bed.

My work day was typically irritating for a Monday so I was definitely itching to go out. The Bunswicks came over and we walked over to Dante's. Every time I've been to Dante's on a weeknight, it's been dead dead dead. Tonight was no exception. We had the place to ourselves for $2 wells and Hales night. We played some air hockey and Bram Stoker's Dracula Pinball (which is hard but the music is AWESOME) and some foosball. Eventually, a karaoke DJ showed up, along with one of the strangest karaoke crowds I've ever seen. We had a woman and her companion who was her demanding boyfriend or her demanding gay friend or her manager. He insisted that she sing her songs in a particular order because she must “save the best for last”. There was a pretty amazonian girl and her surly, fashionably dressed nerd of a boyfriend who didn't speak or move the entire time. There was a really geeky looking guy in a Cosby sweater and coke bottle glasses who showed up to do a shy rendition of “Cracklin' Rosie” and then left. He was like a character in a movie and he was awesome. There was the host who may or may not have been friends with the “team of professionals”, based on the fact that he was engaged in a game of suicide karaoke with them. And then there was us. We sifted through the two volume song book “organized” by song title in MOSTLY alphabetical order) and each found a song. Brugos put in “Dead Leaves on the Dirty Ground” and I did “Manic Monday”. Rocko decided to put in “Never Tear us Apart” which he did VERY well under the name “Mr. Johnson”. Roxy still couldn't be convinced to put in a song. Maybe next time. :)

It was pretty much just us singing to the rotation went around fast, with one angry young man singing some nu metal song as a drop-in. So the host kind of guilted us into singing a second song each. Sadly, Cosby Sweater left after his one song. I would have loved to have heard him sing again. Since there were so few people there, I decided to be annoying and put in “November Rain” in the hopes that THIS TIME they would have the whole song. Almost as soon as I started singing, the motley crue of weirdos ALL left the room. I guess they aren't Guns n' Roses fans. The karaoke DJ didn't seem to be familiar with the song because after the second instrumental he said “I guess this IS the long one” to which I replied “No, we're not there yet. We'll know for sure after the third instrumental”. To my delight, the third instrumental arrived, and I was able, for only the second time in my karaoke career to rock out to the end part of “November Rain”.

Shortly after my song ended, the weirdos came back and Brugos sang “Brandy (You're a Fine Girl)”. Mr. Harry Johnson sang his third song, “Float On” (which was also awesome). After he sang, the bossy manager/boyfriend/gay friend said “You think THAT'S funny (referring to Harry Johnson), when I was in the hospital, my doctors were named Dr. Hurt and Dr. Ow. True story.” He received polite laughter for his hacky stand-up. I guess some things aren't funny just because they're true.

Around 11, we decided we'd had enough of the Dante's universe and headed home. I would definitely like to sing with the weirdos again sometime. Especially Cosby Sweater.