I Must Have Been a Dance Commander

Oh dear me, I am ever so hung over. It was worth it because last night was awesome. Roxy, Brad and I sang a little karaoke at Purr (where we were hooked up with WAAAAAAY too much vodka in our drinks) before heading over to Neumos to catch the Electric Six show. If you don't know the Electric Six, but their debut album, “Fire”, immediately. Their subsequent albums are not quite as good. However, live, all of their songs are incredible. They put on a hilarious, rocking show that makes even hipsters dance. Oh, but I am paying for it today. And with that long introduction aside, I do what one can only do when their mental capacity is limited…A MEME!

01.)What's worse – Physical or Mental cheating?
Der. Physical.

02.) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forgetting is easy for me because of all the killded brain cells. For instance…who?

03.) Can men and women be “just friends”?
Yeeeees.

04.) Dating co-workers?
Bad bad bad idea.

05.) All expenses paid vacation to where?
The way this meme is worded is making me feel like I've lost my mind. However, yes please. To Vegas, where I am already planning to go in September for my friend Frank's 30th birthday.

06.) On the way to the electric chair – what's your last meal?
Tikka Masala and garlic naan. Perhaps with real chicken in it since I'm about to die anyway. However, perhaps not.

07.) At the water park…
Kids pee in the water. I pee on the kids.

08.) When you are “in love” do you notice other people?
I do not have a wandering eye, but I appreciate hotness. I also appreciate the fact that my boyfriend is hotter.

09.) Is flirting cheating?
No. But I don't want to see it happening.

10.) Would you rather have 1 great friend or 5 pals?
1 great friend.

11.) If someone called you a bitch would you be offended?
Depends on who's doing the calling and in what context. Some guy on the street? Don't care. Someone joking? Ha ha! Someone I love being serious? Ouch.

12.) Are you okay with your significant other being friends with an ex?
Yes. I am also friends with exes.

13.) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Done and done. But I wouldn't mind being an honest woman some day.

14.) Favorite sport?
Dance Dance Revolution.

15.) Is toilet paper hung over or under?
Over. Over. Over. If I am in your house and you have it under, I might switch it. I don't know why I'm so anal about that.

16.) Do you squeeze toothpaste from the middle or the end?
Middle until there is no more middle and then end.

17.) How do you feel about tanning booths?
They equal cancer and wrinkles. One is inevitable but the other can hopefully be prevented.

18.) Friends with benefits?
Nope.

19.) Do you believe in angels?
This question makes me nauseous.

20.) Would you rather take pictures or be in pictures?
Take pictures that maybe I am also in.

21.) Have you ever flirted with someone you had no interest in?
I'm barely competent at flirting with people I AM interested in.

22.) Ever kissed a random person and then walked away?
No but it's been done to me by Random Bloke #42 in a club in London. It may have been the worst kiss I have ever received so I did not follow him as I maybe was supposed to.

23.) Would you buy bootleg merchandise?
I certainly have but it is usually shitty quality and then released legit months later for a quarter of the price.

24.) What color(s) look best on you?
I think we all know the answer to this one.

25.) If you could play any sport professionally what would it be?
Mini Golf.

26. Ever break up with someone and regret it?
Once. And for several years. But I have since gotten over it.

27.) Are you a jealous person?
Sadly, yes, where my fella is concerned. But I try to keep it under wraps.

28.) Would you ever have plastic surgery?
Boobs are smaller. Never again.

29.) Has Chuck Norris ever come to your house and forced you to visit GoofyAuctions.com?
I'm sorry, what? Is that something he does? If so, sign me up.

30.) Who has the sexiest accents?
The Irish.

31.) Which do you prefer in a companion – blue collar or white collar?
Doesn't enter into it, but I've known a lot of rich dudes who were kind of dicks.

32.) Favorite song?
I could not possibly have one.

33.) Favorite movie(s)?
“1.21 Gigawatts!”

36.) Are you a beach, country or city person?
City, but I loves to camp.

38.) Have you ever had a “secret affair”?
No. Nor a publicized one.

39.) If you could own a non-traditional pet which would it be?
Pig.

40.) Favorite show as a child?
Transformers. Or 21 Jump Street.

41.) Where do you spend most of your money?
Besides rent, going out.

42.) Are you currently working at a job that you hate?
I don't hate it. But it can definitely grate on my nerves.

43.) Have you and your friends ever gotten a piercing at a piercing party?
Not me, no.

44.) Would you ever attend a piercing if asked?
It seems like perhaps you might be inviting me to a piercing Party?

45.) Can you change a car tire?
In theory.

46.) Favorite cologne/perfume?
I do not like perfume, but I do have some amber scented oil that I love. I just like to sniff it. On men, I love the smell of Old Spice.

47.) Favorite candle scent?
Vanilla. Boring, I know, but I don't like strong unnatural fragrances.

48.) Would you consider yourself adventurous?
More than most, less than some.

49.) What is your MySpace profile song?
I do not have one. I can't stand that feature on MySpace.

50.) Favorite concert attended?
Pulp at the 9:30 club in DC, 1996.

51.) Would you date an already attached man/woman?
N/A and also no.

52.) Would you sing Karaoke in front of co-workers?
It's one of my favorite things to do, in front of co-workers or otherwise.

53.) Can you shoot pool?
In theory.

54.) Do you like your siblings significant others?
I haven't met her.

55.) Can you drive a stick?
No.

56.) When you marry will you wear white?
Only if I can wear this dress.

57.) Have you ever sat and hoped for a phone call?
Now with cell phones you can carry your phone around WITH you and not look so pathetic.

58.) Ever skip school and spend the day at the beach?
We did not have a beach near my school. Instead we went to the mall food court.

59.) Favorite TV show(s)?
Currently on TV: Battlestar Galactica, Futurmama (I know it's old, but it's currently on TV!), Veronica Mars.

60.) What friend is LEAST likely to fill this out?
Probably your mother.

April 25, 2007
Categories: Meme Crazy, The Soundtrack . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Weekend Recap

FRIDAY
B. and I began our night at a friends’ periodic Wine and Cheese party series. Tonight's theme was blue cheese. We brought a creamy young Gorgonzola that B. had purchased at the Pike Place Market and a Camelot Chardonnay from Trader Joe's. We were the first to arrive which was kind of lame, but we had plans later and we wanted to get our fill of cheese.

A lot of people were a little suspicious about the blue cheese theme, but there ended up being quite a few tasty and varied cheeses. I particularly enjoyed the creamy ones and one hard cheese, an Apricot Stilton. It was all about the Apricot for that one.

We also met a nice mutt named Tobe (probably not spelled the same way, however), for whom the hosts were babysitting.

Around 9:00, we took our leave and headed to meet the gang at Sunset to use our coupons and (more importantly, sing karaoke). Michelle, the DJ, was pleased to see us as usual. For some reason, she LOOOVES us, even though we are kind of obnoxious. She must get some real jerks in there.

Anyway, we met Sherwood and he relayed to us his gasoline story. Christy and Chris were also there, and they sang an adorable duet. Christy also sang a Prince song to Chris. It was pretty cute. Around that time, I noticed my assistant at work sitting in the back of the bar. He waved to me and I went over. He apparently had just gotten there so he missed my rendition of The Police's “I Can't Stand Losing You” with Arsenio's unsolicited Death Metal backing vocals. The pressure was on to pick something good for my first performance in front of a co-worker. Let me take this time to say, I LOVE my assistant. He's really cool and we seem to have similar taste in Cinematic Train Wrecks so work is definitely a lot more fun that it used to be.

ANYWAY, eventually, I settled on a tried and true number of mine, “Midnight Confessions” by The Grassroots. It worked out OK.

As they often do at the Sunset, events began to blur eventually. I had already consumed a great deal of wine before getting there, and they always seem to have a vodka drink on special so…several Screwdrivers later, I was kind of too drunk to bowl. But I did anyway and, pathetically enough, I was only slightly worse than I am sober.

We'd originally put ourselves on the list for 2 lanes, but by the time we got called, our party had whiddled down significantly.

After bowling, we were still up for doing something, so B. called Andy to see where he'd gone. He was at a random house party. We assumed that he had roommates with him and so we decided to crash it. At this point it was just me, B. and the Brunswicks. Turned out the roomies had gone to the party with Andy, but left after a short while. He'd followed a lady there. We stuck around for a while but didn't know anyone. After I broke their toilet seat and someone else, simultaneously, broke a box of light bulbs, we decided to leave Andy and sneak out the back. We caught a cab on the street corner and headed home.

SATURDAY
I spent the day putzing around the house before we met up with B.’s crew for a birthday party at Buca di Beppo.

It couldn't have been a more entertaining time to be at Beppo. It's prom season, after all. So gaggle after gaggle of formal-wear clad high school couples streamed into the restaurant while we slowly consumed a 3-liter bottle of Chianti. Most of the couples seemed like they had been thrown together, with girls running around independent of their dates. But there was one couple who actually seemed like they were out TOGETHER. The boy was in an all black tux with what must have been his most formal black baseball cap. Head gear aside, they were pretty cute. I've also never seen so many of the CW Haircuts in one place before. This haircut is the young male equivalent to the Rachel of the 90s.

Midway through the meal, I went to use the bathroom. My timing was good. I got in there right before a mob of girls came in. Whilst in the stall, I overheard Pastel Blue Chiffon Girl complaining to Pastel Yellow Chiffon Girl about how cumbersome her dress was. Obviously, she didn't use the word “cumbersome”.

Pastel Blue: Oh my god. This dress is so annoying. This thing is out of control. I keep tripping over it!
Pastel Yellow: True. But it's good practice for when you get married.
Pastel Blue: You make a good point, girl.

Back at the table, the boys were ogling the illegal eye candy. This reminded me of a conversation I'd had with a co-worker of mine. She was having inappropriate thoughts about our 17-year old intern until I brought up the point that the reason more men lust after teenage girls than women lust after teenage boys, is because we remember what it's like to make out with a teenage boy. They aren't good at it. At all. Back then, I didn't have anything else to compare it to and I still wasn't impressed. Brugos seemed to think it had more to do with teenage boys being poor. That might be the case for some women but for me, that's never been a priority. Brugos is actually the first boyfriend I've ever had who makes more money than me.

After dinner, we stopped in at Jillian's, since it was right next door. We played some air hockey and video bowling (which is kind of like shuffleboard). If only real bowling were like shuffleboard, I would rock it. Brugos played some ping pong and kicked my ass in darts. Around 9:30, we had to take our leave to go to the Showbox for the Blonde Redhead show.

Blonde Redhead sounded amazing, but Brugos and I agreed that it's just not all that fun to see an “ambient” band live.

The show ended early because I guess all the oldsters had to be in bed, so we re-convened with the Birthday party at the Beer Stube for last call.

SUNDAY
It was a beautiful, sunny day. So sunny, in fact, that the light woke us up early. After some DDRsizing, we decided to try and find somewhere with a patio to have an early dinner before league night. We invited the Brunswicks to meet us at Tacos Guaymas in Greenlake (which is, apparently, really close walking distance to the house. I had no idea). Of course, there were no outside seats available, so we settled for a table by the door. That's the trouble with only having sun 3-4 months out of the year. On a rare, sunny day, the competition for outdoor seating is fierce. I bet in LA everyone wants to be in the shade.

B. and I enjoyed happy hour margaritas and food. And I enjoyed the GIANT poster of Rikki Martin above the ladies toilet. The Brunswicks were running late so they ended up just picking us up on the way to bowling.

Our team this week was pretty evenly matched to us. We won the first game and they won the second. They were really happy because it was the first time they'd scored. We were pretty happy to win the first game because we'd only won against one other team. So this way, we get to finish out the season, not anywhere near the top, of course, but at least not at the bottom.

After bowling, we got a few karaoke songs in and then we headed back to the house for Brugos' Big Boy poker, while I relaxed with a Futurama marathon.

April 24, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: , . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Weighing in on Tragedy

Here's what I don't get.

ONE guy makes a liquid bomb and tries to bring it on a airplane. They catch him. No one dies. But to this damned day, we can't bring our own bottled water onto a airplane and we have all kind of ridiculous rules about how big our shampoo bottle can be.

How many school shootings have there been? How many kids have accidentally shot their best friends when fucking around with their dad's hand guns? All those disgruntled government workers in the 90s that coined the phrase “Going Postal”? What about Columbine? And now, Columbine revisited in Virginia? We are reactionary as hell about one guy's idea to make a liquid bomb. Yet it's still easy for any depressed nut job to buy a gun and, 90 days later when they're STILL a nut job, buy a shitload of ammo for said gun, no questions asked, and kill people. Do you think maybe we should make it harder for people to buy guns and ammo? No? OK. Just thought I'd ask.

April 18, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, This is the End . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Famous Racks

Since we haven't been able to go in a couple of weeks, I consider us the reigning champions at Clever Dunne's trivia night. That's my rack in their default picture.

April 17, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, Seattle . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Weekend Recap

FRIDAY

The weekend began a little early. I had been skipping my lunch breaks all week so that I could leave at 2:30 to go to Portland for Scot's birthday road trip. The Brunswicks picked up Brugos and then swung around to get me. Before long, we were on I-5 south, heading to the Amsterdam of the Northwest.

After a pit stop at the DQ in Lacey, Brugos and I went into an ice cream coma for pretty much the rest of the trip.

We pulled into the Holiday Inn parking lot around 6:30, so that Brugos and I could check in. Why were we at the Holiday Inn in the Rose Quarter while EVERYONE ELSE was at the downtown Hilton? Well, that's a question for Priceline. Which I asked. And got a very snippy response about agreeing to their terms and no guarantees etc. It's all well and good, I suppose, but we were still 2 miles away from the rest of our party in a rather industrial area of town.

So we grabbed what we would need for the night and hopped back into the Brunswick’s car to go to the Hilton and meet the party.

Everyone arrived around the same time. It took a little time for everyone to get settled into their rooms and motivate for the evening. Meanwhile, I was getting pretty hungry. By the time we decided to eat at Mary's, the first strip club on our list, I was quite low in blood sugar and therefore cranky.

Getting 9 people to walk anywhere together is somewhat frustrating when you're starving. Since our party kept stopping along the way and waiting for this and that, Brugos and I decided to plow on ahead and scout out Mary's for a table. Trouble was, neither of us knew where it was. Brugos thought he knew, but it became apparent, after about 15 minutes, that he didn't. Eventually, we called the others, who were already sitting down at Mary's, and got directions. By the time we arrived, it was 9:00 and I was ready to eat pretty much anything. Luckily, their food didn't look that bad. They had a full Mexican menu. I ordered a Chili Relleno burrito and we got a round of drinks. It was time to relax. We had food, those who smoked could smoke, and in front of us, strippers danced to some choice selections.

One girl had an amazing contortionist routine. She bent her body like rubber and used her feet like a monkey, grabbing people's glasses and lighting cigarettes. She also used her feet to smoke with her butt. She got all my dollars. And that was BEFORE she chose to do part of her routine to The Final Countdown.

While the other girls didn't have any special tricks other than, you know, bare breasts, they did all have great taste in music. One girl favored the soul classics. Another danced to the Electric Six. But after seeing each girl twice, we were ready to move on.

We went back to the Hilton for a little break and then hopped in cabs to Union Jacks (the Suicide Girls-style bar). We'd gone to Union Jacks the last time I was down and I'd liked it. We'd been there early enough to get a good seat in the back and before the irritating Roller Rink style announcer started his shift. At midnight on a Friday, it took forever to get a drink, the cheeseball played the SAME PART of the SAME SONG in between each act. I also found myself filling with rage toward a guy who was sitting at the stage with a HUGE stack of ones (must have been 4 inches high), who would only put out a dollar or two for each dancer and only when she came right over to him and stuck her tits or crotch in his face. I know stripping isn't exactly the suffragette movement, but you should still have some fucking respect for the girl. She's there to dance for everyone. And while there is some crossover, stripping is not prostitution. That's why they have those rules about no touching. It's for guys like that.

ANYWAY, there was one REALLY cute girl at Union Jacks. She was in red frilly underpants and had 40's hair and big false eyelashes to match her 40's pinup girl curves. She was in stark contrast to the majority or Portland strippers with their 20 inch waists and A cups. And there was nothing fake about her body (apart from her eyelashes). She danced with more spunk than any of the skinny tattooed chicks, and she managed to make a dance to the “Inspector Gadget” theme sexy as well as funny.

Around 1:00, we were done with strip clubs for the evening. Since we were cab distance from both hotels, we decided to go our separate ways. Brugos and I returned to the Hotel/Motel.

SATURDAY

The forecast was for mid 70s and sunny and we'd packed accordingly. So, of course, it was raining. Hard. I was kind of PSMy anyway, so I was pretty cranky on the walk from the Rose Quarter to downtown, as my left sleeve, the one sticking out under our shared umbrella, got wetter and wetter. Eventually, the water soaked through to my sweater. My inappropriate shoes let water in and my feet squished in my shoe puddles. Brugos, ever the gentleman, kept offering to let me have the entire umbrella but I refused to take him up on it until we were almost to the hotel. By then, my hatred for being drenched took over and, too late, covered my whole body.

After some Starbucks Chai therapy and use of the Brunswick’s hair dryer, I was feeling slightly better. Better still after two mimosas. The rest of the party was already several mimosas in. We made plans for the day. Roxy was going to hang out with a local friend. Emily and Nikki were going shopping. Andy was going to the arcade, Ground Kontrol, but not until after he met up with a local friend of his own. For lack of any better ideas, Jon, Rocko, Brugos and I decided to get a head start to Ground Kontrol.

On our way there, we were harassed by fundies who had taken over Pioneer Square with their terrible Christian rock. As we passed by, they waved fliers in our faces and asked us if we were to die today, would we go to heaven. All too late, Brugos thought of the best response. “Are YOU gonna be there?”

Ground Kontrol was awesome. In Seattle we have Shorty's, which is cheap but the only games I like there are the pinball games, and Gameworks which is incredibly expensive. No game costs less than a dollar a play and you can't just run in there and pump some coins into a machine. You have to covert your $ to a play card which is sold in odd amounts that make sure there are always worthlessly small amounts of credit left. This sends you into a vicious “topping up” cycle from which you can never escape. Ground Kontrol uses old fashioned quarters. Most games are 50 cents but many are only 25. And they have my best game of all time: DOCTOR MARIO.

In college, Faye and I kept our old skool NES around JUST so we could play this game. We were both pretty good. Faye was better, but I could definitely hold my own. We triumphantly beat many a male gamer over and over, sending them into a frenzy. Some boys spent hours trying to improve their Doctor Mario skills enough to beat us as a game for which we obviously had some freakishly (mostly impractical in the real world) natural talent.

So it's been at least 5 years since I've played Doctor Mario. I have it on my Game Boy, but it's not at all the same, and even then, I haven't touched my Game Boy in at least 3 years. I thought for sure I'd be pretty rusty. I put in a quarter and started to play.

An hour later, I was on level 11. Rocko and Brugos were watching me. Things were tense on Doc Mario land. The Good Doctor was flinging pills at me and the viruses filled the screen. I couldn't keep up. The viruses won. In my prime, I could get up to level 14, so I wasn't all that rusty afterall. Especially since I'd apparently managed the high score on the game. I've never had the high score on any arcade game in my life. It felt pretty good. But my wrist and poking finger were tired, and the boys had long since finished playing so we went out in search of food.

There are a lot of cool bars in the area that serve lunch. But apparently none of them are open on the weekend. Eventually, we found a big blinking sign that said “BAR” and went in. They had lunch. It was nothing fancy and the waitress seemed kind of annoyed to be waiting on us (she wouldn't tell my my dressing options for my salad, instead making me, with a shake of her head, list my favorite dressings in descending order until I named one that received a nod) , but it did the trick. We were full. Rocko and Jon decided to return to the hotel for a rest. Brugos and I had no such luxury, as our hotel was too far out, so, instead, we met up with Andy and his Portland friend at…Ground Kontrol.

I hadn't gotten any DDR in the first time and Brugos and I needed to burn off the fried Mac and Cheese Bites we'd consumed, so we played a couple of games. Then I watched Brugos expertly flipper one ball for 20 minutes on the Pirated of the Carribean pinball game. He wracked up over 55 million points.

Feeling sufficiently warmed up, I wanted to play some head to head on Doc Mario. Turns out that's NOT the most cost effective way to play in an arcade. One quarter on single play can last you a long time, but on two player, you have to put in a new quarter after every round. After a very expensive tournament, we decided to see how far we could get on one quarter, taking turns on levels. Once again, I found myself playing the 11th level and dropping the, er, pill. Still, we managed to beat my (hour) old high score together. So now the high score on Doctor Mario at Ground Kontrol in Portland belongs to BB(heart).

We returned to the Hilton in the hopes that people would be able to motivate for sushi. This doesn't sound like much, but there were three factors making this is a difficult prospect. 1) There were 9 of us. 2) The sushi restaurant we wanted to go to was far away. 3) It was the most popular sushi restaurant in town. The reason it's the most popular sushi restaurant in town is because it's incredibly cheap, incredibly huge and incredibly delicious. These are also reasons why we HAD to go there.

After the concierge organized a van cab and a regular cab for us, we were on our way to Saboro's to put our name on the list and wait at least an hour for a seat. This was how you had to do it. There was no other way. And everyone we talked to said it was totally worth it. Even our cab driver who was dressed in bleached army fatigues, hasn't seen a shower in several days and grumbled like a Vietnam Vet.

When we arrived at the restaurant, there was indeed a huge group of people standing outside. We found the sign-up sheet on the door and Brugos put us down for a table of 5 and a table of 4. He leafed forward to see how far down the list we were. We were at the very bottom of page 2. It was going to be a while. But it was 7:15 and the place closed at 10, so we still had a chance to make it in.

We went around the corner in search of a bar called “Limey's” that our concierge, Dan McCloud, recommended highly. All we could find was a restaurant called “The Limelight” that had as much atmosphere as a waiting room, so we waited for the party van to arrive and then chose a nice, comfortable, divey looking place.

We snacked on tater tots and yams fries and became steadily drunk, as we waited for our names to move up on the list. An hour later, there were still 20 names ahead of us, but a lot of people, it seemed, were giving up and leaving so we had a decision to make. Should we wait it out and hope more people gave up, or should we stick around. We put it to vote. The first 5 people voted to leave. The next 2 said they didn't care. It came to Brugos. He gave an inspiration speech about how far we'd come and how good that sushi was going to taste. There might have been a flag waving behind him. We stayed.

Time goes by faster when you're drunk anyway. Brugos swigged from a beer he'd snuck out of the bar. Roxy kept challenging people to shimmy up a pole. Roxy hid Brugos' beer inside her sweatshirt and swigged from it. I took pictures. Before we knew it, it was our turn. And somehow, they'd managed to fit us all at the same table.

Everyone had warned us not to order too much. “The rolls are huge” our 'Nam Cabbie had said. “Don't order more than you can eat.” I ordered 3 rolls. It was probably going to be more than I could eat but it was only $6 worth of sushi so I couldn't not. We ordered tons of sake. Then they brought our the sushi.

Huge was an understatement. It was novelty-sized. My Tomago roll was like an omelet on a bed of rice. Andy's Unagi was an entire eel. Ann's hand roll was the size of a Subway sandwich. It was ridiculous. But delicious. And worth the wait. It really was the best sushi I've ever eaten. And even though I did order WAAAAAY more than I could eat, I took my leftovers with me.

We headed back downtown to meet some of Roxy’s friends at the Shanghai Tunnel. There's wasn't anywhere to sit though, so we got a table at a neighboring bar outside. Brugos and I set off to find the Vietnamese karaoke bar we'd gone to the last time we were down. Apparently, it had gone out of business. This was probably due to the PACKED bar across the street that boasted karaoke. We thought we'd check it out, but it was $2 to even get into the bar and it was after midnight. If half of the people in bar had songs in, we'd never get to sing. We returned to our friends and hung out outside for a while longer. Eventually, some of us decided to check out Magic Garden up the road.

In Magic Garden, everything is in slow motion. Compounded by the fact that the lighting is all red, it feels really strange to be in there. Dancers don't dance. They move like sloths at half speed no matter what music is playing. We recognized one of the dancers from Mary's. At Mary's her slow movements had seemed out of place. Here, it's par for the course.

A drunk girl in front of us kept whispering and laughing and pointing toward us. I'm not sure what was so funny. Later, she spilled her drink all over the place. Magic Garden was making me sleepy and our mandatory drink was making my stomach hurt so I was glad that people seemed to be winding down. Brugos and I got a cab and it was back to the H.D.

SUNDAY

This time when we awoke, it was blindingly sunny outside. A nice day to walk to the Hilton. We checked out and strolled in the sun, past the giant Barry Manilow billboard that was our beacon, and over the bridge to downtown.

We met the Brunswicks on the street on their way to the Doc Martins store and they gave us their room key to hang out until they got back. Then they checked out and we hit the road in search of breakfast.

The others had already found a place, and by the time we got there, there was a 45 minute wait for a table, so we said goodbye and ventured out on our own. It was Easter Sunday so a lot of places were either closed or packed. In the end, we found ourselves back at the BAR that had saved us the day before. It was actually called Kelly's Olympian and they had breakfast all day.

We walked back to the car which was parked in front of a large building (I think it's a post office) with big ornate golden doors. It reminded us of the bank in Mary Poppins, so we all started dancing and singing and doing our best Van Dyke's. Brugos' Van Dyke involved accidentally elbowing me in the nose and teeth. I was fine, but it would have made for a funny black eye story.

We contemplating jetting out of town right then, but Roxy got a call from her friend and they wanted to meet at The Avalon, which was, allegedly, a nickel arcade.

I know it's probably for novelty's sake, but I don't think it's right to call yourselves a nickel arcade, and still accept only nickels when your games all cost FOUR OR FIVE NICKELS. That's $25 cents. There's a whole other coin for that.

No matter though. They had skee ball and pinball (but, regrettably, no wack-a-mole) and the ability to collect tickets which cost several dollars to acquire and then spend them on nearly worthless trinkets and waxy candy. It was pretty fun.

We were now ready to hit the road.

For some reason, there are two places that always seem like a good idea on road trips. Dairy Queen (which we'd visited on the way down) and Taco Bell. So, once again in Lacey, we found ourselves at the Taco Bell. While Rocko was in the bathroom, Roxy predicted what Rocko would want to order. The Grande Meal: 10 tacos, or burritos for $8. We laughed and made jokes about taking so many years off your life with 10 tacos just to achieve “value”. But when Rocko came out of the bathroom, lo and behold, he told Roxy he was thinking about getting the Grande Meal. After the teasing, he decided to cut his taco intake in half. I got a “quesadilla” (their interpretation of which is nacho cheese inside a tortilla) and their version of the “Apple Pie” the “Empanada”. While we ate, Brugos and I noticed an odd fellow lumbering through the restaurant. He was tall with an Eraserhead head of gray hair and an ill-fitting gray suit which was busting at EVERY seam. His ashen face wore an expression of world-wearyness. He was definitely on his last thread. Perhaps he was on some kind of wacky road trip to get home to his family by Easter, but nothing was going right. Perhaps his carefree (hilariously tubby) traveling companion of convenience was in the bathroom. Or perhaps he was a zombie risen from the grave with an insatiable craving for the one food that gave him comfort in life. Whatever his story, he was not happy. He read his newspaper in the seat with both hands on his forehead. Unfortunately, the Brunswicks had their backs to him. They didn't see him. Maybe he was a shared hallucination for me and Brugos from too much artificial cheeze. I'm just glad we saw him. This is the appeal of Taco Bell. It's not the Challupas.

Back in the car, we finished out the rest of the trip with me and Rocko taking turns selecting individual songs on my ipod. I have a 60GB ipod and it's full of music. There are no videos taking up needless space. This is great because I have all my music with me at all times. But it is also extremely overwhelming at times. So it's refreshing to have someone else go through your music and pick out songs. His choices gave me ideas and we fed off each other, playing DJ the rest of the way home. We sang along at the top of our lungs. It's an incredibly fun way to listen to your own ipod.

The Brunswicks pulled into our driveway at 7:30. There was no league that night on account of Easter, but we'd planned to go bowling anyway. We were too tired to lift a ball. We said goodbye and Brugos and I spent the evening vegging on the couch instead. Great trips are always completely exhausting.

Pics from Portland here!

April 10, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: , . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Meme

1. You are stopped at a red light and when it finally turns green the car in front of you doesn't move. How long do you wait before you honk?
I hardly every drive but I try to be pretty polite in my daily life so probably 5 seconds provided the person in front of me doesn't have anyone in front of them.

2. Are you a golfer?
Only of the mini variety.

3. Do you prefer staples or paper clips?
Staples. Paper clips always fall off.

4. If you could speak any other language fluently which would you choose?
Spanish would come in handy. But I really like the sound of Italian.

5. Would you ever elope?
It sounds kind of fun, actually.

6. What is your favorite candle scent?
Pine, but only if it smells real

7. How old were you when you really understood love?
Does anyone REALLY UNDERSTAND love? Come on.

8. Would you like to change your current living arrangements?
Besides pimping out the basement, nope.

9. How much ice do you like in your drink?
As little as possible, unless the liquid isn't already cold.

10. Truth or Dare?
Dare. I offer of the truth rather freely.

11. What do you think of the zoo?
Those animals look sad.

12. Do you answer your phone before 10am?
Considering I'm awake at 7:30 most days, yes. But on the weekends, usually not.

13. Do you make wishes on loose eyelashes?
I don't believe in wishes.

14. If you ever attempted to break a world record which would you choose?
Most trips to the bathroom in one day. That's something I have a shot at.

15. Have you ever truly been in a place that is haunted?
I've truly been to places that people say are haunted.

16. Have you ever wanted to make out with any of your sibling's friends?
No.

17. What scent reminds you of autumn?
That crisp scent in the air that smells like Autumn.

18. Do you pray before meals?
I don't pray before anything. Or after.

19. If you won the lottery what is the first thing you would do?
This is a standard meme question. And I used to say I'd fund my movie but now that it's not my movie anymore, I don't know. I'd like to travel. Beyond that, I'd have to think about it.

20. When was your last doctor appointment?
A month ago for another stupid UTI. And tomorrow for…guess what?

21. What did you have for dinner last night?
“Ham” and cheese sandwich!

22. Who from high school do you miss the most?
I still wonder what happened to Michael Cross, my unrequited love. And I'm glad I found Boz on Myspace. Other than that, I'm good.

23. Name 2 things you can't make it through the day without?
Tea. Email.

24. If you had to move to a different state which one would you choose?
I suppose it would be Portland, Oregon. It's kind of like Seattle but smaller and less work opportunities for me.

25. Did you see anything unusual happen today?
So my boss arranged for this representative from Costco to come in to the office. He brought a whole bunch of free food: fruit, muffins, danishes, and in exchange for the free muffins, we had to listen to his shpiel about Costco memberships. I'm not sure if anyone signed up, but the guy stayed in the kitchen for TWO HOURS so every time anyone went in there for water or tea or what have you, he would ask “Have you given any thought to signing up?” and “I hope you enjoyed the food!”. The whole scene was strange for many reasons.

26. Name an actor, actress, singer, etc. who never got the respect they deserved?
Eric Roberts. But never say never.

27. What is your favorite Mexican food?
Chilli Relleno.

28. What are your guilty pleasures?
I have many pleasures but I don't feel guilty about them, really, so I can't count booze, food, sex or bad movies. What's left?

29. You just stepped out of the shower and someone rings the doorbell, what do you do?
Put my jammies on quickly and then peer through the peep hole to decide if I want to continue this course of action or ignore them.

30. Do you decorate for the holidays?
Well, Brugos made that tree for Christmas this past year. That was cool. I didn't have anything to do with it though.

31. How many phone calls have you answered today?
None. It's been quiet. Lots of emails though.

32. Which relative do you like the least?
Racist grandma.

33. There's a hottie across the room. How do you get his/her attention?
Stick my butt out. My hottie likes butts.

34. What's the coolest thing you've ever won?
I always feel pretty good when we win first place at Clever Dunne's trivia. It's not about the money, man. It's about the glory!

35. Which T.V. game show would you like to play?
The World Series of Pop Culture.

March 29, 2007
Categories: Meme Crazy . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Cartoony

Pics from Emily's cartoon B-Day party are here!

March 28, 2007
Categories: Picture Pages . . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

SXSW Pics

Are here!

March 28, 2007
Categories: Picture Pages . Tags: . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Weekend Recap

FRIDAY

Not having gotten a real rest since getting back from Austin, Brugos and I decided to stay in on Friday. We ate home-made pizza and watched Idiocracy before falling asleep. Not very exciting, but it needed to be done.

SATURDAY

We spent much of the day on the couch. In the evening we decided to use the bowling coupons we received from out league organizer. Jon and Emily picked us up and we got to Sunset around 7:00. Andy had already put our name in for two lanes. He was sitting in the bar with two of his friends I'd never met and Roxy. We set about drinking while we waited for our lanes. The special was the Bay Breeze, so Brugos and I ordered round after round of those. They actually didn't seem all that strong but they were mighty delicious, so we kept ordering them.

We bowled 3 games. The first two were pretty good. Better than we'd done on our first league night. The last one was pretty crap for all of us. We were tired and the alcohol was kicking in. It was time to karaoke.

The Sunset Bowl Karaoke crowd is a strange one. You have your frat boys, your spunky college kids, your slutty townies and your just plain odd ducks. Brugos and I attempted to sing Paradise by the Dashboard Light but it turns out he didn't know it that well, so I sang most of it rather awkwardly. Brugos sang some Led Zeppelin on his own. Emily sang The Humpty Dance and I put in a staple for myself: One by Three Dog Night, to make up for the awkwardness of our first performance. The weirdness was intermittent. While Emily and one of Andy's friends sang Pour Some Sugar On Me, some random girl got up and started dancing. Right in front of them. Suggestively. She bend over and showed her thong to the crowd. She rubbed up against the girls. She jiggled her stuff until the karaoke host came over and politely asked her to sit down. She complied, but not before giving one last defiant ass-shake to the crowd. When she got back to her table, she lifted her shirt high above her head and placed it over her male companion's head.

Seattle Karaoke Notable, Anne, was there. You might remember Anne from previous blog posts about karaoke nights. She used to be at Jai Thai when Angel hosted karaoke there on Saturdays. From what I can gather, she's either a pre-op trannie or a post-op who needs to sue her surgeon. She seems very sweet though. Apparently, she goes by the name of Krissy, these days, and is meeting everyone anew under new name. She introduced herself to all the girls in the bar who did a number, told them they were beautiful and sung well.

Right before everyone tired of the scene, a group of, I guess, college kids in “dress up” came in and took over the back table. I'm not sure what their deal was. Roxy described their look as kids who'd raided their mother's closet. They wore mismatched outfits and boas and hats with no discerning theme unless “Elton John has gone blind” is a theme.

Anyway, we paid our tab, and I discovered that Brugos and I had imbibed 7 Bay Breezes each. They must not have had too much alcohol in them because we were both still standing and somewhat coherent. We retired to the 4A house.

At the 4A house, we stood around for a while. Roxy and I went on a beer run and I impulsively bought a box of macaroons. I definitely must have been drunk. After we returned, I coerced everyone into a game of Asshole. Before we knew it, it was 3am, and Brugos and I were ready for bed. Rocko had called a cab for him, Roxy and us, but Roxy wasn't ready to go, so Brugos and I gladly took the cab straight home.

SUNDAY

It was a beautiful day, but Brugos and I had the rather daunting task at hand of picking up my bed from and cleaning my old apartment. I am finally out of there and everything is spotless. By the time we finished, however, I could barely lift my arms so I wasn't really expecting to do well at out league night, even with Saturday's practice.

In the end, however, I did about the same. No better or worse. We got home around 9, with enough time for some well needed vegging, including watching the season finale of BSG which was…well, OMG.

So…Holy crap! I definitely though Chief or Tigh MIGHT be Cylons, but certainly not BOTH of them PLUS Roslin's crappy P.A. and a professional Pyramid Ball player. Whoa. I'm really happy Chief is a frackin' toaster though. Makes me love him even more as I, myself, am a toaster lover. I wonder what Sharon will say!

And I KNEW Starbuck wasn't dead. I can't wait to find out what happened to her. And who the fifth Cylon is (Brugos still thinks it's Starbuck). But I guess I'll have to wait till…2008! Ack!

March 27, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions, Hug Your Television . Tags: , . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

SXSW '07 RECAP FINALLY

TUESDAY

We almost didn't make our plane. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 11:25. We figured this meant we could sleep in. We woke up at 9 and lazed about, eating breakfast, making sandwiches for the plane, and, got in the car at 10. We would be cutting it a bit close, but we could still park the car in the long term lot and make our plane. Afterall, we'd checked in on line. All we had to do was check our bags, go through security and straight to the gate. “Remind me that we have to get gas on the way home on Sunday,” said Brugos.

As we were about to pull into the long term lot, Brugos felt his pockets for his wallet. Which wasn't there. No wallet, no I.D. No I.D., no getting on the plane. We had to go home. It was 10:30. Our plane left in less than an hour.

I wasn't mad. I have done stupid things many a time. I've never missed a plane, but I couldn't be mad at Brugos after all the times I've forgotten something crucial and ruined things for other people. And since those people had always been understanding, how could I not be?

So bad we drove. On the way, I called United to try and discover our options. Calling an airline has become a nearly impossible task these days. After listening to an automated message about visiting them on the web for faster service (I WOULD if I were near a COMPUTER) and a lecture about getting to the airport at least two hours ahead of time, I was placed into the interactive computer situation and asked for my flight information. I don't know how I got through to a person the first time, but he was less help than the computers. He told me that there were two other flights to Austin that day but they were booked. We could go to the airport and try standby but if we couldn't get on a plane that day, we would have to re-book for a fee through Orbitz. “Because that is where you made your reservation. You will have to pay a booking fee.” It sounded like he was MAD at me for booking through Orbitz. Didn't United still get PAID for those flights? I asked him another question. “I don't KNOW, ma'am. You booked through Orbitz so I can't help you. Would you like the NUMBER for Orbitz?” I said no thank you. And then he tried to rent me a fucking car. What do I need a CAR for? I don't have TIME to rent a car. I'm IN a car, trying to get to the damned airport. I hung up on him.

I told Brugos what happened. He was appalled but said that I should call back because we still didn't know what our options were. I never got through to a person at United again. They have an impenetrable automated system that couldn't understand a word I was saying. Several times, in exasperation, I pushed 0 to try and get to an operator. “I'm sorry, I do not understand your command” said the stupid fucking computer. You don't say. “Please state the departure city” asked the computer. “Seattle,” I said, with PERFECT pronunciation. “You said Glasgow, Scotland,” said the computer. “Is this correct?” NO. “Seattle,” I said again. “You said Shanghai, China” the computer said. I hung up and called back. This time, when the computer said “If you are on a rotary phone, please stay on the line and and we will help you”. Great, I thought. I will pretend I'm on a rotary and they will put an operator on to help my little old lady ass. The computer said “Please say your reservation number. Or if you don't have it say 'I don't know it'. I said I didn't know it. “OK” said the computer. “We'll ask you a few more questions to find your reservation another way. Please say the departure city.” OH MY GOD. I hung up again. Perhaps I am already and old lady because I'm pretty convinced that computer was fucking with me. After that, I couldn't seem to even get my call to connect. And by then we were already on our way back to the airport. It was 11:00. The only way we would make our plane was if it was delayed.

As we pulled into the expensive lot, I threw my toothpaste and sunscreen, well over 3 ounce containers, onto the seat. I would not have time to check my bag. Brugos still seemed to think that if we hauled ass, we might make it to the gate at 11:25 and could beg them to let us on. So after we drove into the top level of the lot (“Sorry. Level Full. Please continue up.”) I ran toward the terminal, and Brugos sped off to find somewhere to cram the car. Once in the terminal, I was met with our first bit of luck for the day. The plane wasn't there yet. I called Brugos to tell him the good news and then got in the security line.

After security discarded my $25 4 oz container of face wash, we RAN to the gate. We got there just as the last few people were being let on. It was incredible. My stomach began to relax. We were on our way to Austin!

On the plane, we sat next to a young guy who was also on his way to SXSW. We chatted all the way to Denver and exchanged numbers. From Denver to Austin, we played a little travel Catan. Two person Catan is brutal.

When we landed in Austin, it was storming. Lightening and thunder. But the rain stopped as the cab headed into downtown Austin. I don't know why, but I had a bad feeling as we strolled up to the desk at La Quinta. I had my reservation in hand. I told the lady my name. She said “I'm sorry, could it be under another name?” Nope. And then I showed her my print out. It said we were supposed to check in on the 10th. This was the 12th. There was a good reason for why my reservation said the 10th. When I made the reservation EIGHT MONTHS AGO, we didn't know when we were flying in. After buying our plane tickets, I called La Quinta to change our arrival date. The guy said no problem. I was an idiot and didn't have him email me a confirmation of the change. I had no proof that I had made this phone call. Now La Quinta had it down that we were a no-show reservation. The lady behind the counter didn't seem at all sympathetic. In fact, she seemed like she didn't believe me. “We DO have one room. It's a smoking room with one king bed for $170.” That's a lot of money. Our original reservation was already for a lot of money. $140 a night. But it was also for a room with 2 beds. We were boned. She knew it. Still she let us talk her down to $150. We asked her if there were any rollaways, as Justin would be joining us the next day. She said she'd look. We were tired and just wanted to know we had somewhere to sleep so we gave in and went to our room. We vowed to steal at least $10 in free continental breakfast from them every morning to make up the difference. In it was a huge bed and a small couch which would have been perfect for someone to sleep on if that person were Warwick Davis.

We freshened up a bit and headed out into the warm, misty Austin night. I had a list of karaoke venues. Since the music part of SXSW didn't start until Wednesday, we thought we sing a little ourselves and then try to see a movie. We walked into the bar that ellegedly had LIVE BAND karaoke. There were 2 people in there. They both worked there. They looked up at us expectantly, surprised to see us. “Um…is there…karaoke here tonight?” They laughed. “We haven't had karaoke for 6 months. D'oh!

We decided instead to wander up 6th street and see what was going on. There were definitely shows happening. Maybe something would strike our fancy. We didn't need to line up for the midnight movie for another two hours. Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice. I knew the Toadies had reformed for two reunion shows in Austin. The first was Monday night. The second was Tuesday.

I had tried to get tickets for the Tuesday show but they had sold out in a day. You might remember the Toadies. They had a hit in the late 90's called “Possum Kingdom” about a vampire trying to convince his human love interest to let him bite her.

Needless to say, I LOVED them. And now, it was unmistakable that we were overhearing their set. I asked Brugos if we could wander closer and leer into the venue through the fence for a while. He agreed. We passed by a forlorn looking girl holding two tickets in the air. “Are those for the Toadies?” we asked. They were. “How much?” “Whatever you're willing to give me” she responded. She looked bored and desperate. “$5 each?” Brugos low balled. She frowned. “I PAID $30 for each of them” she scowled. “How long have they been playing?” I asked. She said they'd played about 5 songs. I handed her a twenty. She frowned again and took it. Brugos thought I was being too generous but I still felt bad. I've been in her shoes, trying to get rid of tickets, knowing I was taking a loss no matter what. I would have given her $15 each if they hadn't already started their set. But none of that mattered right then. We had to find the entrance! We walked into the venue and sauntered up to the bar. I was grinning. Brugos bought us each a High Life which tasted MIGHTY good at that moment.

They sounded amazing and played a good number of songs off the two albums I have, including “Possum Kingdom”, which we were glad we hadn't missed. I didn't hear my favorite song, “Away”, but perhaps they'd played that in the beginning. Regardless, we were seeing a sold out reunion show by the Toadies on our first night in Austin for $10. We hadn't missed our plane and we had a bed to sleep in. Not much to complain about there.

After the show, we had just enough time to grab a drink and some street pizza before getting in line to see a midnight showing of Undead or Alive: A Zombedy starring Chris Kattan (yuck), Brian Posehn, Matt Bessar of the Upright Citizens Brigade doing his best Doc Cochran from Deadwood impression, and some dude from J.A.G. It was sort of funny but mostly blah. And the special effects were pretty terrible. They actually used the Final Cut Pro “fire” filter to make an “explosion”. It looked pretty shoddy. And yes, I was jealous. Their script was ho-hum and they still managed to get funding and the same caliber of actor that we'd wanted for “Plight”. Our script was funny and our special effects would have been great (thanks to the guy who did them for “Snow Day”) and our actor choices would have been way better than Chris fucking Kattan.

When the movie ended, we raced to Casino El Camino to have a quick drink with our friend Mark, who was leaving town the next day. He made it in just before last call. Luckily, Mark was still planning to go to some shows the next day before getting on his plane so we'd have a little more hang time with him.

We returned to our overpriced hotel room and went to sleep.

WEDNESDAY

We woke up too late for the hotel's continental breakfast. It was a misty day. Not quite rainy enough for an umbrella (the streets were too crowded to carry one anyway), but wet enough to soak your clothes during prolonged exposure. On our way to find breakfast, we stopped into The Mohawk to hear the end of the Hello Stranger set. I'd heard of them, but never heard them. Their groovy sound drew us into the venue.

I was so hungry, though, that I was kind of glad that they only had 3 songs left. I need breakfast and coffee ASAP. It's hard to find normal things like bakeries, coffee shops and drug stores in downtown Austin because it seems like EVERY SINGLE BUSINESS is a bar or club. It must be weird to live there. We finally found a bakery hidden at the end of 6th st and got egg and cheese biscuits and coffee. Then we headed to Emo's to look for Mark and see who was playing.

They handed us a handy little laminated flier meant to look like a pass that had the days' schedule on it. It was a really good idea. We found Mark and listened to the first band called This Is Me Smiling, who were pretty good. The next band on took forever to sound check and still sounded terrible when they finally started. Brugos and I said goodbye to Mark and headed to Red Eye Fly where I'd heard there were free drinks. Unfortunately, when we got there, we discovered that you needed to RSVP to get in. That was when I realized we should probably return to the hotel and start RSVPing to some shit.

With a little time on our hands and a need to replace the toiletries discarded by airport security, we sought out a drug store. We picked also picked up some room snacks, beer and ipod speakers and went back to the hotel to drop the stuff off and ask again about a rollaway bed. Brugos also, somehow, managed to talk them back down to only charging us $140/night. However, they informed us there were NO rollaway beds. We were out of luck. Perhaps we would get to know Justin really well this week by sharing a bed with him. He was arriving at the hotel at 8pm.

We rested for a minute, I RSVPd for some parties (perhaps too late) and then we headed back to Emo's to see The Smoking Popes.

On our way we passed a van manned by hipsters shouting “Free Ice Cream!” This took a second to register in our brains. We had already passed the van before we realised that they were giving away FREE ICE CREAM. And all we had to do was take their crappy fliers as well. Then, we were stopped again by some guys from Camel. “Do you guys smoke?” they asked. I didn't say anything, but Brugos said he did (which is true, I suppose. He DOES smoke. He just doesn't buy cigarettes.) and they offered him a little gift bag and two tickets to see the Faint on Saturday. Realising an opportunity, I spoke up and got myself some tickets. They told us the rest of the deal: go to such and such an address between 5 and 8 for free food, beer and cigarettes. OK!

We arrived at Emo's in time to catch the end of a set by a terrible band called “Catfish Haven”. Their god-awful name and talent to match spurred a conversation twixt Brugos and I about how most of the time, a band with a terrible name is also going to SOUND terrible. We then tried to think of good bands with bad names. I thought of Green Day, a band who's name I don't mind at all, but perhaps if I hated them, I would also hate their name. Can YOU, dear reader, think of any good bands with crappy names? Or vice versa?

While watching the lackluster Smoking Popes set, we chatted with a British record label owner who asked us if we knew where to buy drugs. We said we didn't. He asked us what hotel we were staying in. When we responded “La Quinta”, he asked if that was in the “Spanish District”. In a place like Texas, where everything has a Mexican name, I am not sure how one would know they were in the Spanish District.

Next, we were off to the Camel Party to score some free food on the Tobacco Industry. It was kind of a weird scene. It looked like the Camel office of Austin, but they also had some flame-decorated couches and Camel box art all over the walls. They were giving away cigarettes in addition to BBQ, potato salad and peach cobbler (the last two items being my dinner). We also got two free drink tickets each, and Brugos managed to get two more Faint tickets. So now we had 6. Enough for us, Justin and Cherry who would be joining us later, and two other people (possibly Andrew who was arriving the next day).

Full on Camel food, we went back to the hotel to wait for Justin and deliver the bad news about the bed. He didn't seem to bothered by it. We went back down to the lobby to get some extra blankets and pillows. They seemed none to thrilled to see the troublemakers in their lobby again. In fact, the guy who Brugos had talked into discounting our room, actually said “You guys, again!”. They apparently could only spare one blanket and two pillows, plus one extra towel. We brought these things back up to the room and then got ready to go out for the evening.

We decided to try another karaoke spot, but as we neared the place and heard bands, it became pretty apparent to us that AustinSings.com is grossly out of date. In fact, the venue didn't even have the same NAME anymore. We about-faced and headed to Mother Egans to see Two Cow Garage.

They weren't on until 10 so we sat down for a couple of beers and some chips. Finally, around 10:30, I heard the band start their set and we headed down toward the stage to watch. I have never seen a picture of them before so I didn't realise that

Two Cow Garage are but wee boys. They are adorable. The lead singer has a vague Marty McFlyness about him. The rest of the band are just as youthful and energetic. They give a spirited show. I liked them before, but their recordings do not do justice at all to their live performance. After the show, I sought them out to complete my record collection.

We walked back into town to find something to do for the evening. We thought perhaps we could get into Emo's for the midnight Blonde Redhead show, but the multiple lines around the block told us otherwise. I saw Eugene Mirman duck into a club with no line and mentioned this to Brugos. He decided that we should go in there. It turned out to be a Sub Pop party and whoever the bands were who were playing were boring as hell. This didn't matter much to us because we were quite hammered. Brugos saw Eugene and decided to talk to him. He told him that we came in there because we'd seen him go in. I mentioned that we'd met him last year and that he probably didn't remember us. He said that he did and then, a few awkward beats later, made his excuses and left. Yikes. Whatever charm I had last year for getting him to talk to me for two hours was definitely gone.

Justin decided to try and find a way to sneak into Emo's, as the bar we were in was adjacent to it. I was a little nervous about this notion, but, in the end, went along with it anyway. We wandered into the green room with some excuses about “looking for a place to smoke” only to learn that the venues did not, in fact, connect. I was relieved that the sneaking in business was over, and set about, instead, to play the Star Wars pinball game that was beckoning me.

We stuck around for a while for want of anything better to do and then headed back to the hotel around 2. Justin set about making his bed on the floor and removed the tiny couch cushions to make a mattress when…low and behold he discovered that underneath the couch cushion was a FUCKING HIDE-A-BED! How did the La Quinta people not know, after all of our harassing of them to get us another bed, that the room contained a PULL OUT COUCH?! Doesn't every La Quinta in the goddamn country have the same furniture?!

But no matter, we had our second bed, and we happily wandered off to dream land.

THURSDAY

We set the alarm to wake us up at 8:30, half an hour before the end of the free continetal breakfast. We sleepily threw on some clothes and headed downstairs to check out the spread. They had the usual juice, coffee, tea, yogurt, fruit, cereal and muffins, but they also had SELF-SERVICE WAFFLE MAKERS! These things are amazing. You pour in the batter, flip the maker over and then, two minutes later, you have a perfect golden waffle. This was exciting as hell. My pockets stuffed with bananas, muffins and tea, we took our waffle back up to the room and got back into bed, hoping the waffle would still be tasty a couple of hours later. It was.

Brugos and I got ready to go and left Justin in bed. It was off to the Filter Magazine party, one of the parties I actually HAD RSVPd for. They boasted free food and drinks and the party lasted three days. When we got there, they didn't even check us off a list. We just walked right in and were handed free t-shirts and hats and our drink order was taken. The food was gone, but they still had plenty of free Dewars and Miller Light. We were going to stay for one drink and then walk to Waterloo records to see the Sparklehorse in-store. Zach Galifianakis came out to warm up the crowd and then he introduced the first band. They were called Grand Ole Party, they consisted of a bass player, guitar player and a drummer/singer who was also a lady. She sat in front. They were incredible. The singer sounded like Grace Slick. The music was White-Stripesy. We loved them. We decided to blow off Sparklehorse and stay for the whole set. After the set, they gave out free CDs. We also ran into Matt from the airplane.

We stayed for another band called Great Northern, who were pretty good. Some of their songs were a little too mellow, but for the most part they were enjoyable. This was due, in no small part, to the rhythm section which consisted of a lady bass player straight out of a Robert Palmer video, and a drummer who looked like the cocaine dealer of the week on Miami Vice.

Whilst standing in the courtyard, I stupidly got a sunburn. I never remember, on my first day of sun-basking each year, that I am a lily white Irish girl who needs to wear sunblock.

We then stopped into The Flamingo Cantina to see the Pipettes. We almost didn't get in (apparently, it was wrist bands and badges only) but the guy at the door let us in anyway. Cool! It was hot as hell so we left as soon as their set was over. Brugos hated them. At that time, I found them cute.

Next it was back to Emo's to catch the band Maritime (former members of The Promise Ring). Emo's show that day was sponsored by the Onion A/V club so there was a little table full of Onion Swag. The guy gave us 4 free drink tickets. When Maritime was done, Brugos and I went to our respective bathrooms. When I came out, I couldn't find him, but I DID find Andrew who was standing out in the courtyard with Aiyana and Derek. We chatted for a bit and eventually, Brugos found us. At 5, it was time to go back in side for a comedy set. The opening comedian, who's name escapes me, was pretty lame. The next guy on was Leo Allen. I've never seen him do standup. He's usually an improv or performance guy. His stand up is decent but not awesome. I prefer the out-there stuff he does with Eric Slovin. Next was Aziz Ansari who had some new bits. They were mostly good but a few didn't quite hit. After that, we left to go back to the hotel and meet Justin.

We were all quite hungry so we decided to find a sit-down restaurant and eat. We passed a Mexican place and decided to take a chance. They told us it would be a 20 minute wait, so we got some margaritas and sat down…to watch the WORST BAND IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. The best way I can describe them is easy listening played by frat boys. Good LORD they were terrible. Every minute we watched them seemed like an hour. Finally, we couldn't take it any more and we checked on our table. They were ready for us.

It was worth it to stick around. That food was incredible. I got the mushroom enchiladas with poblano pepper cream sauce. The tortilla chips were fresh and warm and they kept them coming. The even the RICE was the best I've ever had. I delightfully packed up my leftovers and happily dropped them in the fridge hotel for later consumption.

We headed out again, this time to Peter Pan Mini Golf for a little night golfing. It was a long walk and we were already tired, so we stopped at a bar half way to rest. We finished the trek and I golfed my worst game it years. It was a bit frustrating to do so badly at something that is usually a strong point for me, but I still had fun.

After that we walked to the Alamo South Lamar in time to catch the midnight screening of Fido. Fido was a good idea (I should know!) but it was half-assedly executed and the story dragged on too long. The sets, however, were incredible. I guess Lionsgate had a little extra change to toss their way. Must be nice.

We shared a cab back downtown with some festival go-er. And then to bed.

FRIDAY

Once again, we woke up at 8:30 to stuff our pockets with breakfast and make a waffle, and then went back to bed. When we woke up a few hours later, Justin once again stayed in bed. Brugos and I headed out to the trusty Filter party, stopping first at a British record label party for which we had been given a flier the day before. It was free food and drink. When we walked in, there were no bands nor were there any setting up. In the back room there was a bar and a chef preparing fresh quesadillas. We ordered some free Dewars and the kind lady filled our glasses to the brim. The quesadillas were also delicious. We weren't sure what the record label was getting out of us being there but we weren't complaining.

Already somewhat drunk, we wandered into the Filter party and listened to a band called Ra Ra Riot as we enjoyed MORE free Dewars. Now we were definitely drunk. As we left the Filter party, we ran into Justin who was on his way to meet us. He said he was hungry so we thought perhaps we should take him back to the record label party (see, I can't even remember what it was for. Terrible marketing, guys. But great quesadillas). The chef was cleaning up but there was still plenty of free Dewars.

Brugos and I had another drink and Justin ate some coconut shrimp that was slightly too old to be any good. Then we made our way to the Muzak party. I know what you're thinking. “Muzak? As in elevator music?” Well, apparently, they are so much more than that now. Now their artists actually sing. Sure, it's god awful adult contemporary…but no matter. They had free tacos and margaritas. And I had RSVPd. So why not?

Unfortunately, a lot of people seemed to think the same way. We got in the long line for tacos and, by the time we got to the table, there were only scraps left. We were absolutely trashed by this point, and we'd yet to pay for a drink.

We left the Muzak party and wandered over to La Zona Rosa to get in line for their British music showcase. On the list was a guy called Mika, who sounds like the Scissor Sisters if they were fronted by Freddie Mercury. His album is already huge in the UK but it doesn't come out in the states till next week. This guy is going to break America though. I'm certain he's going to be massive. He's cute, spunky and his songs are catchy as hell.

As we waited in line, we chatted with an older Brit who was excited to be there and was impressed with my knowledge of British music.

Once through the door, we bee-lined for the hot dog cart that we'd been smelling whilst in line. Our taco scraps had not stayed with us. Luckily, they had a veggie option. It may have just been half a Boca burger in a bun smothered in onions and kraut, but it was delicious.

We got some more drinks and then went to find a place to sit down and eat. The first band started and they were pretty boring so we decided to stay seated and play some cards. A short while later, they turned off the lights so it became kind of difficult to see, but we were only playing Asshole, so we didn't mind too much.

The next band started and also sucked so we stayed seated. Cherry arrived and we dealt her in. We got tired of playing cards and went out for a smoke and to meet Cherry's friend, Rene.

The next band started. They were, apparently, the Special Guests. I recognized their first song. They were called Razorlight. I'd heard them on my indie radio station. They were not, by far, a big deal in the states. But apparently, they were an enormous deal in the UK. The crowd cheered loudly. Everyone moved closer to the stage. The lead singer strutted around in his scoop neck white -shirt and white jeans with confidence. Brugos and I HOPED they were a big deal because otherwise, this guy has some serious delusions. Later shed the t-shirt and continued to strut around stage whilst doing the Mick Jagger one-handed forearm clap. Rene, Cherry and Justin loved him. Brugos and I just thought he was funny. Rene, who we were discovering was kind of crazy, said she wanted to lick his chest.

Finally, at 1am, Mika came on. He was amazing. Every song he played sounded like a hit.

After the show, as we were gathering our wits to walk home, a guy came up to me and ACTUALLY said “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I go away and come back?” Luckily, he sort of flubbed the cliched line, allowing me to respond that he should go away.

We were trashed. But we couldn't go straight back to the hotel. We had to get Cherry's sleeping bag, pillows and suitcase from her car. Once there, she wanted to drive it. I told her there was no way that was going to happen. So, instead, We carried her stuff through the crowded street back to the hotel. People heckled us. We heckled back. I yelled at a guy for driving an SUV. Another guy yelled at me to shut up. Rene fell. Someone tried to snatch one of Cherry's pillows from Brugos.

It's really a wonder we got back to the hotel without being run over or beaten up.

We drunkenly staggered around the hotel for a while. I happily scarfed my Mexican leftovers. Somehow it came up that everyone should leave the room so that Brugos and I could have sex. We didn't argue. Rene said something about how having a curved penis is better and she hopes that

Brugos has a curved penis. Then Cherry, Justin and Rene grabbed a bottle of wine and left.

When they came back several hours later, we were told a disjointed story about getting told to leave by some Japanese people and Justin possibly spitting on the hotel manager's bald head. We were half asleep and just nodded.

SATURDAY

As had become the routine, we woke up just to get free breakfast and went back to sleep. Rene left. She was a lot of fun, but I was glad she took off before any of the hotel staff recognized her and kicked us out. Cherry came back to the room after moving her car. I've just realised they didn't actually end up charging us for her parking. How strange considering how infamous the inhabitants of room 447 were becoming. It was St. Paddy's Day. Brugos, Cherry and I began our day at the Filter party. Getting in was no problem, whatwith the old “I'm on the list” response. However, security was much tighter that day, and after one round of freebies, they began charging everyone who didn't have a wrist band or badge. No big deal. We'd definitely gotten our share of free Dewars courtesy of Filter Magazine. We met Andrew at the party. For lack of any better ideas, we stuck around for a while and watched the Pipettes play a set. Andrew hated them. Brugos hated them. Once they were compared to the musical “Grease”, I began to hate them. Oh well. Justin arrived and we hung out for a bit longer, but with no more free drinks and mediocre bands, our as extreme hunger compelled us to leave. Whilst searching for food, we elected to go to the least possible Irish destination: A Jewish Deli. Even there, they had $1 green beer specials. It was Bud Light and it was pretty gross. Their food was awesome (I ate a potato knish and some creamed spinach), and, for some reason, they corrected a small fry mistake by bringing us 4 large orders of fries. TOO MUCH. We were all quite stuffed after and needed to lie down, so we returned to the hotel for a nap. Andrew came with us. We dozed for an hour or so whilst watching the end of “Oceans 11” and the beginning of “Deep Impact”, before heading out again. Andrew took his leave of us, and I gave him a ticket to The Faint show, not really expecting him to show up.

We had time to catch the Human Giant Showcase at Friends Bar before getting in line for The Faint show. The organization at this venue was pretty ridiculous though. Usually at these places, they have a badge holder line and a line for civilians. They cut off the badge holder line at a certain point to let the civies in. They weren't doing that this time. More and more badge holders kept showing up and filling the bar while the civie line didn't move. We complained to the girl at the door. She kindly, eventually, let us in by sneaking us into the badge holder line.

In the end, though, we wouldn't have missed out on much. Patton Oswalt was supposed to be there, but he'd had to cancel. The Human Giant isn't all that funny. Eugene Mirman's set was good but I've seen him many times. It was hot in there. My stomach still felt terrible from lunch. I wasn't really drinking any more so I was just getting tired. My body was revolting. We stayed for the Tim and Eric set, but we couldn't really see the stage, so we had a feeling we were missing half the act.

We walked to La Zona Rosa around 11 for the 12:30 Faint show. We expected to see a big line. As we walked up, we saw no line and heard music coming from within. Had it started early? We sauntered up to the door and showed our tickets to the lady. She didn't know what they were. She called someone else over. He didn't know what they were. “The Faint aren't here,” he said. Did they cancel? “No. They aren't here. You can go in though. It's $20.” We asked who was playing. He DIDN'T KNOW. He brought us over to the door lady and asked her who was playing. “The Polyphonic Satellites, I think” she said. Um…The girl behind us said “It's the Polyphonic Spree.” Oh. Them, I've heard of. And the other band? “The Satellite somethings…” Hmmmm. Well, what about our tickets. The lady at the door looked at them and said “Those aren't real tickets. They're promotional.” Promotional for what? She asked us where we got them. We told her from Camel. She said “Well, they aren't real. They're laminated. They don't have a bar code. Who laminates tickets? They're promotional.” What are they promoting, we asked. They have a date and a time and a location on them. They don't even SAY Camel. “I don't know, but they're promotional. Do you want to come in? It's $20.” $20 to see the Polyphonic Spree and the Satellite somethings. No thanks! As we walked off, the first lady asked to see our “Promotional” tickets again. As she examined them, another guy recognized them and finally cleared up all the confusion.

They tickets were real. The Faint WERE there. At 12:30. PM. We missed them. OK, so we're idiots who can't tell time. But what of the 3 people who WORKED for the venue who not only didn't know that the Faint had been there at noon, but what bands were on stage at that very moment. Weird.

We didn't know quite what else to do. Every bar was packed with idiots. We wouldn't be able to get into any other shows at that point. We walked past the Alamo to see if there were any interesting midnight movies. There weren't. We went into one last bar and got a round. I couldn't drink any more. My stomach was very angry with me. I just drank water and finally suggested that we get some beer and head back to the hotel. As it was, we didn't get back till 1:00. We sat in bed talking and the others chain smoked. The next thing I knew, it was 3:30 and my hurt tummy was telling me I needed to sleep. The others kindly took the party to the balcony. For some reason, however, I was unable to fall asleep until they came back at 4:30. Getting up to catch a plane was not going to be fun.

SUNDAY

When I woke up, my body kindly asked me not to eat anything fried or drink anything alcoholic for at least 48 hours. I was happy to comply. We checked out of our crappy hotel room and I was surprised to find a straightforward bill at $140/night. We had an uneventful trip to airport, thanks to Cherry, and a quick flight. At the Denver airport, Brugos and I bought veggie laden sandwiches. My stomach was very happy.

At SeaTac, we waited for Justin, who was on a different plane, and then found the car on roof of the long term lot. Much to our chagrin, it didn't start. I enlisted some passing people in a VW to jump us but, for some reason, they had no idea how to find the battery in their car. We couldn't find it either. WTF? Luckily, AAA came shortly after that and we were on our way. We grabbed a quick bite of sushi at Blue C and then Brugos and I had to race to the Sunset Bowl for our first league night. We were home by 9. Sleep came quickly.

Pictures will be uploaded early next week!

March 23, 2007
Categories: Dear Diary, The Soundtrack . Tags: , . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

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