It’s been a while since I’ve done a meme. I’m doing a meme. Join me, won’t you? Not sure if one is meant to answer what they’d WANT to be or what their categorical equivalent would be. I went with the latter. Though maybe I’ll answer as the former at a later date.
If I were a season, I’d be ~ Fall
If I were a month, I’d be ~ September
If I were a day of the week, I’d be ~ Sunday
If I were a time of day, I’d be ~ Lunchtime
If I were a planet, I’d be ~ Mars
If I were a direction, I’d be ~ West
If I were a tree, I’d be ~ Weeping Willow
If I were a flower, I’d be ~ Dandelion
If I were a fruit, I’d be ~ Tomato
If I were a land animal, I’d be ~ House Cat
If I were a sea animal, I’d be ~ Seahorse
If I were a bird, I’d be ~ Pigeon
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be ~ Ottoman
If I were a liquid, I’d be ~ Saltwater
If I were a stone, I’d be ~ That red gravel that looks like meteors
If I were a tool, I’d be ~ Allen Wrench
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be ~ Fog
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be ~ Kazoo
If I were a colour, I’d be ~ Blacker than the blackest orange
If I were a facial expression, I’d be ~ A resting face that looks like a frown
If I were an emotion, I’d be ~ Floating anxiety
If I were a sound, I’d be ~ Tapping
If I were an element, I’d be ~ Lithium
If I were a car, I’d be ~ An old Volvo station wagon
If I were a food, I’d be ~ Soy
If I were a place, I’d be ~ A rumpus room
If I were a flavour, I’d be ~ Vanilla salt
If I were a scent, I’d be ~ Frankincense
If I were an object, I’d be ~ Unidentified flying
If I were a body part ~ Boobs
If I were a song, I’d be ~ “Rainy Days and Mondays” – The Carpenters
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be ~ Beat up Mary Janes
If I were transportation, I’d be ~ Feet
If I were a fairy tale, I’d be ~ Coraline
If I were a holiday, I’d be ~ Friday the 13th
Pilfered from here.
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Effed by the Wind 
No one else is playing? OK, I will. Following your lead, as on who I am vs. who I’d like to be (I have reasons for each answer but won’t go into it here):
If I were a season, I’d be ~ Spring
If I were a month, I’d be ~ April
If I were a day of the week, I’d be ~ Thursday
If I were a time of day, I’d be ~ Dusk
If I were a planet, I’d be ~ Earth
If I were a direction, I’d be ~ West
If I were a tree, I’d be ~ Birch
If I were a flower, I’d be ~ Jasmine
If I were a fruit, I’d be ~ Banana
If I were a land animal, I’d be ~ House Cat
If I were a sea animal, I’d be ~ Some sort of tropical fish
If I were a bird, I’d be ~ Penguin
If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be ~ La-Z Boy
If I were a liquid, I’d be ~ Mind lemonade
If I were a stone, I’d be ~ Limestone
If I were a tool, I’d be ~ Philips screwdriver
If I were a kind of weather, I’d be ~ Partly cloudy
If I were a musical instrument, I’d be ~ Oboe
If I were a color, I’d be ~ Green
If I were a facial expression, I’d be ~ Smirk
If I were an emotion, I’d be ~ Anticipation
If I were a sound, I’d be ~ Leaves through trees
If I were an element, I’d be ~ Copper
If I were a car, I’d be ~ Prius
If I were a food, I’d be ~ Potato
If I were a place, I’d be ~ A struggling garden
If I were a flavor, I’d be ~ Salty caramel
If I were a scent, I’d be ~ Soap
If I were an object, I’d be ~ Trapezoid
If I were a body part, I’d be ~ Legs
If I were a song, I’d be ~ “Once in a Lifetime” – Talking Heads
If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be ~ Chuck Taylor’s before Nike bought Converse, but not the right color
If I were transportation, I’d be ~ Hovercraft
If I were a fairy tale, I’d be ~ The Little Red Hen
If I were a holiday, I’d be ~ Labor Day
Er, mind lemonade = Mint lemonade. Though the idea of “mind lemonade” is intriguing.