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SXSW '07 RECAP FINALLY
TUESDAY
We almost didn't make our plane. Our flight was scheduled to depart at 11:25. We figured this meant we could sleep in. We woke up at 9 and lazed about, eating breakfast, making sandwiches for the plane, and, got in the car at 10. We would be cutting it a bit close, but we could still park the car in the long term lot and make our plane. Afterall, we'd checked in on line. All we had to do was check our bags, go through security and straight to the gate. “Remind me that we have to get gas on the way home on Sunday,” said Brugos.
As we were about to pull into the long term lot, Brugos felt his pockets for his wallet. Which wasn't there. No wallet, no I.D. No I.D., no getting on the plane. We had to go home. It was 10:30. Our plane left in less than an hour.
I wasn't mad. I have done stupid things many a time. I've never missed a plane, but I couldn't be mad at Brugos after all the times I've forgotten something crucial and ruined things for other people. And since those people had always been understanding, how could I not be?
So bad we drove. On the way, I called United to try and discover our options. Calling an airline has become a nearly impossible task these days. After listening to an automated message about visiting them on the web for faster service (I WOULD if I were near a COMPUTER) and a lecture about getting to the airport at least two hours ahead of time, I was placed into the interactive computer situation and asked for my flight information. I don't know how I got through to a person the first time, but he was less help than the computers. He told me that there were two other flights to Austin that day but they were booked. We could go to the airport and try standby but if we couldn't get on a plane that day, we would have to re-book for a fee through Orbitz. “Because that is where you made your reservation. You will have to pay a booking fee.” It sounded like he was MAD at me for booking through Orbitz. Didn't United still get PAID for those flights? I asked him another question. “I don't KNOW, ma'am. You booked through Orbitz so I can't help you. Would you like the NUMBER for Orbitz?” I said no thank you. And then he tried to rent me a fucking car. What do I need a CAR for? I don't have TIME to rent a car. I'm IN a car, trying to get to the damned airport. I hung up on him.
I told Brugos what happened. He was appalled but said that I should call back because we still didn't know what our options were. I never got through to a person at United again. They have an impenetrable automated system that couldn't understand a word I was saying. Several times, in exasperation, I pushed 0 to try and get to an operator. “I'm sorry, I do not understand your command” said the stupid fucking computer. You don't say. “Please state the departure city” asked the computer. “Seattle,” I said, with PERFECT pronunciation. “You said Glasgow, Scotland,” said the computer. “Is this correct?” NO. “Seattle,” I said again. “You said Shanghai, China” the computer said. I hung up and called back. This time, when the computer said “If you are on a rotary phone, please stay on the line and and we will help you”. Great, I thought. I will pretend I'm on a rotary and they will put an operator on to help my little old lady ass. The computer said “Please say your reservation number. Or if you don't have it say 'I don't know it'. I said I didn't know it. “OK” said the computer. “We'll ask you a few more questions to find your reservation another way. Please say the departure city.” OH MY GOD. I hung up again. Perhaps I am already and old lady because I'm pretty convinced that computer was fucking with me. After that, I couldn't seem to even get my call to connect. And by then we were already on our way back to the airport. It was 11:00. The only way we would make our plane was if it was delayed.
As we pulled into the expensive lot, I threw my toothpaste and sunscreen, well over 3 ounce containers, onto the seat. I would not have time to check my bag. Brugos still seemed to think that if we hauled ass, we might make it to the gate at 11:25 and could beg them to let us on. So after we drove into the top level of the lot (“Sorry. Level Full. Please continue up.”) I ran toward the terminal, and Brugos sped off to find somewhere to cram the car. Once in the terminal, I was met with our first bit of luck for the day. The plane wasn't there yet. I called Brugos to tell him the good news and then got in the security line.
After security discarded my $25 4 oz container of face wash, we RAN to the gate. We got there just as the last few people were being let on. It was incredible. My stomach began to relax. We were on our way to Austin!
On the plane, we sat next to a young guy who was also on his way to SXSW. We chatted all the way to Denver and exchanged numbers. From Denver to Austin, we played a little travel Catan. Two person Catan is brutal.
When we landed in Austin, it was storming. Lightening and thunder. But the rain stopped as the cab headed into downtown Austin. I don't know why, but I had a bad feeling as we strolled up to the desk at La Quinta. I had my reservation in hand. I told the lady my name. She said “I'm sorry, could it be under another name?” Nope. And then I showed her my print out. It said we were supposed to check in on the 10th. This was the 12th. There was a good reason for why my reservation said the 10th. When I made the reservation EIGHT MONTHS AGO, we didn't know when we were flying in. After buying our plane tickets, I called La Quinta to change our arrival date. The guy said no problem. I was an idiot and didn't have him email me a confirmation of the change. I had no proof that I had made this phone call. Now La Quinta had it down that we were a no-show reservation. The lady behind the counter didn't seem at all sympathetic. In fact, she seemed like she didn't believe me. “We DO have one room. It's a smoking room with one king bed for $170.” That's a lot of money. Our original reservation was already for a lot of money. $140 a night. But it was also for a room with 2 beds. We were boned. She knew it. Still she let us talk her down to $150. We asked her if there were any rollaways, as Justin would be joining us the next day. She said she'd look. We were tired and just wanted to know we had somewhere to sleep so we gave in and went to our room. We vowed to steal at least $10 in free continental breakfast from them every morning to make up the difference. In it was a huge bed and a small couch which would have been perfect for someone to sleep on if that person were Warwick Davis.
We freshened up a bit and headed out into the warm, misty Austin night. I had a list of karaoke venues. Since the music part of SXSW didn't start until Wednesday, we thought we sing a little ourselves and then try to see a movie. We walked into the bar that ellegedly had LIVE BAND karaoke. There were 2 people in there. They both worked there. They looked up at us expectantly, surprised to see us. “Um…is there…karaoke here tonight?” They laughed. “We haven't had karaoke for 6 months. D'oh!
We decided instead to wander up 6th street and see what was going on. There were definitely shows happening. Maybe something would strike our fancy. We didn't need to line up for the midnight movie for another two hours. Suddenly, I heard a familiar voice. I knew the Toadies had reformed for two reunion shows in Austin. The first was Monday night. The second was Tuesday.
I had tried to get tickets for the Tuesday show but they had sold out in a day. You might remember the Toadies. They had a hit in the late 90's called “Possum Kingdom” about a vampire trying to convince his human love interest to let him bite her.
Needless to say, I LOVED them. And now, it was unmistakable that we were overhearing their set. I asked Brugos if we could wander closer and leer into the venue through the fence for a while. He agreed. We passed by a forlorn looking girl holding two tickets in the air. “Are those for the Toadies?” we asked. They were. “How much?” “Whatever you're willing to give me” she responded. She looked bored and desperate. “$5 each?” Brugos low balled. She frowned. “I PAID $30 for each of them” she scowled. “How long have they been playing?” I asked. She said they'd played about 5 songs. I handed her a twenty. She frowned again and took it. Brugos thought I was being too generous but I still felt bad. I've been in her shoes, trying to get rid of tickets, knowing I was taking a loss no matter what. I would have given her $15 each if they hadn't already started their set. But none of that mattered right then. We had to find the entrance! We walked into the venue and sauntered up to the bar. I was grinning. Brugos bought us each a High Life which tasted MIGHTY good at that moment.
They sounded amazing and played a good number of songs off the two albums I have, including “Possum Kingdom”, which we were glad we hadn't missed. I didn't hear my favorite song, “Away”, but perhaps they'd played that in the beginning. Regardless, we were seeing a sold out reunion show by the Toadies on our first night in Austin for $10. We hadn't missed our plane and we had a bed to sleep in. Not much to complain about there.
After the show, we had just enough time to grab a drink and some street pizza before getting in line to see a midnight showing of Undead or Alive: A Zombedy starring Chris Kattan (yuck), Brian Posehn, Matt Bessar of the Upright Citizens Brigade doing his best Doc Cochran from Deadwood impression, and some dude from J.A.G. It was sort of funny but mostly blah. And the special effects were pretty terrible. They actually used the Final Cut Pro “fire” filter to make an “explosion”. It looked pretty shoddy. And yes, I was jealous. Their script was ho-hum and they still managed to get funding and the same caliber of actor that we'd wanted for “Plight”. Our script was funny and our special effects would have been great (thanks to the guy who did them for “Snow Day”) and our actor choices would have been way better than Chris fucking Kattan.
When the movie ended, we raced to Casino El Camino to have a quick drink with our friend Mark, who was leaving town the next day. He made it in just before last call. Luckily, Mark was still planning to go to some shows the next day before getting on his plane so we'd have a little more hang time with him.
We returned to our overpriced hotel room and went to sleep.
WEDNESDAY
We woke up too late for the hotel's continental breakfast. It was a misty day. Not quite rainy enough for an umbrella (the streets were too crowded to carry one anyway), but wet enough to soak your clothes during prolonged exposure. On our way to find breakfast, we stopped into The Mohawk to hear the end of the Hello Stranger set. I'd heard of them, but never heard them. Their groovy sound drew us into the venue.
I was so hungry, though, that I was kind of glad that they only had 3 songs left. I need breakfast and coffee ASAP. It's hard to find normal things like bakeries, coffee shops and drug stores in downtown Austin because it seems like EVERY SINGLE BUSINESS is a bar or club. It must be weird to live there. We finally found a bakery hidden at the end of 6th st and got egg and cheese biscuits and coffee. Then we headed to Emo's to look for Mark and see who was playing.
They handed us a handy little laminated flier meant to look like a pass that had the days' schedule on it. It was a really good idea. We found Mark and listened to the first band called This Is Me Smiling, who were pretty good. The next band on took forever to sound check and still sounded terrible when they finally started. Brugos and I said goodbye to Mark and headed to Red Eye Fly where I'd heard there were free drinks. Unfortunately, when we got there, we discovered that you needed to RSVP to get in. That was when I realized we should probably return to the hotel and start RSVPing to some shit.
With a little time on our hands and a need to replace the toiletries discarded by airport security, we sought out a drug store. We picked also picked up some room snacks, beer and ipod speakers and went back to the hotel to drop the stuff off and ask again about a rollaway bed. Brugos also, somehow, managed to talk them back down to only charging us $140/night. However, they informed us there were NO rollaway beds. We were out of luck. Perhaps we would get to know Justin really well this week by sharing a bed with him. He was arriving at the hotel at 8pm.
We rested for a minute, I RSVPd for some parties (perhaps too late) and then we headed back to Emo's to see The Smoking Popes.
On our way we passed a van manned by hipsters shouting “Free Ice Cream!” This took a second to register in our brains. We had already passed the van before we realised that they were giving away FREE ICE CREAM. And all we had to do was take their crappy fliers as well. Then, we were stopped again by some guys from Camel. “Do you guys smoke?” they asked. I didn't say anything, but Brugos said he did (which is true, I suppose. He DOES smoke. He just doesn't buy cigarettes.) and they offered him a little gift bag and two tickets to see the Faint on Saturday. Realising an opportunity, I spoke up and got myself some tickets. They told us the rest of the deal: go to such and such an address between 5 and 8 for free food, beer and cigarettes. OK!
We arrived at Emo's in time to catch the end of a set by a terrible band called “Catfish Haven”. Their god-awful name and talent to match spurred a conversation twixt Brugos and I about how most of the time, a band with a terrible name is also going to SOUND terrible. We then tried to think of good bands with bad names. I thought of Green Day, a band who's name I don't mind at all, but perhaps if I hated them, I would also hate their name. Can YOU, dear reader, think of any good bands with crappy names? Or vice versa?
While watching the lackluster Smoking Popes set, we chatted with a British record label owner who asked us if we knew where to buy drugs. We said we didn't. He asked us what hotel we were staying in. When we responded “La Quinta”, he asked if that was in the “Spanish District”. In a place like Texas, where everything has a Mexican name, I am not sure how one would know they were in the Spanish District.
Next, we were off to the Camel Party to score some free food on the Tobacco Industry. It was kind of a weird scene. It looked like the Camel office of Austin, but they also had some flame-decorated couches and Camel box art all over the walls. They were giving away cigarettes in addition to BBQ, potato salad and peach cobbler (the last two items being my dinner). We also got two free drink tickets each, and Brugos managed to get two more Faint tickets. So now we had 6. Enough for us, Justin and Cherry who would be joining us later, and two other people (possibly Andrew who was arriving the next day).
Full on Camel food, we went back to the hotel to wait for Justin and deliver the bad news about the bed. He didn't seem to bothered by it. We went back down to the lobby to get some extra blankets and pillows. They seemed none to thrilled to see the troublemakers in their lobby again. In fact, the guy who Brugos had talked into discounting our room, actually said “You guys, again!”. They apparently could only spare one blanket and two pillows, plus one extra towel. We brought these things back up to the room and then got ready to go out for the evening.
We decided to try another karaoke spot, but as we neared the place and heard bands, it became pretty apparent to us that AustinSings.com is grossly out of date. In fact, the venue didn't even have the same NAME anymore. We about-faced and headed to Mother Egans to see Two Cow Garage.
They weren't on until 10 so we sat down for a couple of beers and some chips. Finally, around 10:30, I heard the band start their set and we headed down toward the stage to watch. I have never seen a picture of them before so I didn't realise that
Two Cow Garage are but wee boys. They are adorable. The lead singer has a vague Marty McFlyness about him. The rest of the band are just as youthful and energetic. They give a spirited show. I liked them before, but their recordings do not do justice at all to their live performance. After the show, I sought them out to complete my record collection.
We walked back into town to find something to do for the evening. We thought perhaps we could get into Emo's for the midnight Blonde Redhead show, but the multiple lines around the block told us otherwise. I saw Eugene Mirman duck into a club with no line and mentioned this to Brugos. He decided that we should go in there. It turned out to be a Sub Pop party and whoever the bands were who were playing were boring as hell. This didn't matter much to us because we were quite hammered. Brugos saw Eugene and decided to talk to him. He told him that we came in there because we'd seen him go in. I mentioned that we'd met him last year and that he probably didn't remember us. He said that he did and then, a few awkward beats later, made his excuses and left. Yikes. Whatever charm I had last year for getting him to talk to me for two hours was definitely gone.
Justin decided to try and find a way to sneak into Emo's, as the bar we were in was adjacent to it. I was a little nervous about this notion, but, in the end, went along with it anyway. We wandered into the green room with some excuses about “looking for a place to smoke” only to learn that the venues did not, in fact, connect. I was relieved that the sneaking in business was over, and set about, instead, to play the Star Wars pinball game that was beckoning me.
We stuck around for a while for want of anything better to do and then headed back to the hotel around 2. Justin set about making his bed on the floor and removed the tiny couch cushions to make a mattress when…low and behold he discovered that underneath the couch cushion was a FUCKING HIDE-A-BED! How did the La Quinta people not know, after all of our harassing of them to get us another bed, that the room contained a PULL OUT COUCH?! Doesn't every La Quinta in the goddamn country have the same furniture?!
But no matter, we had our second bed, and we happily wandered off to dream land.
THURSDAY
We set the alarm to wake us up at 8:30, half an hour before the end of the free continetal breakfast. We sleepily threw on some clothes and headed downstairs to check out the spread. They had the usual juice, coffee, tea, yogurt, fruit, cereal and muffins, but they also had SELF-SERVICE WAFFLE MAKERS! These things are amazing. You pour in the batter, flip the maker over and then, two minutes later, you have a perfect golden waffle. This was exciting as hell. My pockets stuffed with bananas, muffins and tea, we took our waffle back up to the room and got back into bed, hoping the waffle would still be tasty a couple of hours later. It was.
Brugos and I got ready to go and left Justin in bed. It was off to the Filter Magazine party, one of the parties I actually HAD RSVPd for. They boasted free food and drinks and the party lasted three days. When we got there, they didn't even check us off a list. We just walked right in and were handed free t-shirts and hats and our drink order was taken. The food was gone, but they still had plenty of free Dewars and Miller Light. We were going to stay for one drink and then walk to Waterloo records to see the Sparklehorse in-store. Zach Galifianakis came out to warm up the crowd and then he introduced the first band. They were called Grand Ole Party, they consisted of a bass player, guitar player and a drummer/singer who was also a lady. She sat in front. They were incredible. The singer sounded like Grace Slick. The music was White-Stripesy. We loved them. We decided to blow off Sparklehorse and stay for the whole set. After the set, they gave out free CDs. We also ran into Matt from the airplane.
We stayed for another band called Great Northern, who were pretty good. Some of their songs were a little too mellow, but for the most part they were enjoyable. This was due, in no small part, to the rhythm section which consisted of a lady bass player straight out of a Robert Palmer video, and a drummer who looked like the cocaine dealer of the week on Miami Vice.
Whilst standing in the courtyard, I stupidly got a sunburn. I never remember, on my first day of sun-basking each year, that I am a lily white Irish girl who needs to wear sunblock.
We then stopped into The Flamingo Cantina to see the Pipettes. We almost didn't get in (apparently, it was wrist bands and badges only) but the guy at the door let us in anyway. Cool! It was hot as hell so we left as soon as their set was over. Brugos hated them. At that time, I found them cute.
Next it was back to Emo's to catch the band Maritime (former members of The Promise Ring). Emo's show that day was sponsored by the Onion A/V club so there was a little table full of Onion Swag. The guy gave us 4 free drink tickets. When Maritime was done, Brugos and I went to our respective bathrooms. When I came out, I couldn't find him, but I DID find Andrew who was standing out in the courtyard with Aiyana and Derek. We chatted for a bit and eventually, Brugos found us. At 5, it was time to go back in side for a comedy set. The opening comedian, who's name escapes me, was pretty lame. The next guy on was Leo Allen. I've never seen him do standup. He's usually an improv or performance guy. His stand up is decent but not awesome. I prefer the out-there stuff he does with Eric Slovin. Next was Aziz Ansari who had some new bits. They were mostly good but a few didn't quite hit. After that, we left to go back to the hotel and meet Justin.
We were all quite hungry so we decided to find a sit-down restaurant and eat. We passed a Mexican place and decided to take a chance. They told us it would be a 20 minute wait, so we got some margaritas and sat down…to watch the WORST BAND IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. The best way I can describe them is easy listening played by frat boys. Good LORD they were terrible. Every minute we watched them seemed like an hour. Finally, we couldn't take it any more and we checked on our table. They were ready for us.
It was worth it to stick around. That food was incredible. I got the mushroom enchiladas with poblano pepper cream sauce. The tortilla chips were fresh and warm and they kept them coming. The even the RICE was the best I've ever had. I delightfully packed up my leftovers and happily dropped them in the fridge hotel for later consumption.
We headed out again, this time to Peter Pan Mini Golf for a little night golfing. It was a long walk and we were already tired, so we stopped at a bar half way to rest. We finished the trek and I golfed my worst game it years. It was a bit frustrating to do so badly at something that is usually a strong point for me, but I still had fun.
After that we walked to the Alamo South Lamar in time to catch the midnight screening of Fido. Fido was a good idea (I should know!) but it was half-assedly executed and the story dragged on too long. The sets, however, were incredible. I guess Lionsgate had a little extra change to toss their way. Must be nice.
We shared a cab back downtown with some festival go-er. And then to bed.
FRIDAY
Once again, we woke up at 8:30 to stuff our pockets with breakfast and make a waffle, and then went back to bed. When we woke up a few hours later, Justin once again stayed in bed. Brugos and I headed out to the trusty Filter party, stopping first at a British record label party for which we had been given a flier the day before. It was free food and drink. When we walked in, there were no bands nor were there any setting up. In the back room there was a bar and a chef preparing fresh quesadillas. We ordered some free Dewars and the kind lady filled our glasses to the brim. The quesadillas were also delicious. We weren't sure what the record label was getting out of us being there but we weren't complaining.
Already somewhat drunk, we wandered into the Filter party and listened to a band called Ra Ra Riot as we enjoyed MORE free Dewars. Now we were definitely drunk. As we left the Filter party, we ran into Justin who was on his way to meet us. He said he was hungry so we thought perhaps we should take him back to the record label party (see, I can't even remember what it was for. Terrible marketing, guys. But great quesadillas). The chef was cleaning up but there was still plenty of free Dewars.
Brugos and I had another drink and Justin ate some coconut shrimp that was slightly too old to be any good. Then we made our way to the Muzak party. I know what you're thinking. “Muzak? As in elevator music?” Well, apparently, they are so much more than that now. Now their artists actually sing. Sure, it's god awful adult contemporary…but no matter. They had free tacos and margaritas. And I had RSVPd. So why not?
Unfortunately, a lot of people seemed to think the same way. We got in the long line for tacos and, by the time we got to the table, there were only scraps left. We were absolutely trashed by this point, and we'd yet to pay for a drink.
We left the Muzak party and wandered over to La Zona Rosa to get in line for their British music showcase. On the list was a guy called Mika, who sounds like the Scissor Sisters if they were fronted by Freddie Mercury. His album is already huge in the UK but it doesn't come out in the states till next week. This guy is going to break America though. I'm certain he's going to be massive. He's cute, spunky and his songs are catchy as hell.
As we waited in line, we chatted with an older Brit who was excited to be there and was impressed with my knowledge of British music.
Once through the door, we bee-lined for the hot dog cart that we'd been smelling whilst in line. Our taco scraps had not stayed with us. Luckily, they had a veggie option. It may have just been half a Boca burger in a bun smothered in onions and kraut, but it was delicious.
We got some more drinks and then went to find a place to sit down and eat. The first band started and they were pretty boring so we decided to stay seated and play some cards. A short while later, they turned off the lights so it became kind of difficult to see, but we were only playing Asshole, so we didn't mind too much.
The next band started and also sucked so we stayed seated. Cherry arrived and we dealt her in. We got tired of playing cards and went out for a smoke and to meet Cherry's friend, Rene.
The next band started. They were, apparently, the Special Guests. I recognized their first song. They were called Razorlight. I'd heard them on my indie radio station. They were not, by far, a big deal in the states. But apparently, they were an enormous deal in the UK. The crowd cheered loudly. Everyone moved closer to the stage. The lead singer strutted around in his scoop neck white -shirt and white jeans with confidence. Brugos and I HOPED they were a big deal because otherwise, this guy has some serious delusions. Later shed the t-shirt and continued to strut around stage whilst doing the Mick Jagger one-handed forearm clap. Rene, Cherry and Justin loved him. Brugos and I just thought he was funny. Rene, who we were discovering was kind of crazy, said she wanted to lick his chest.
Finally, at 1am, Mika came on. He was amazing. Every song he played sounded like a hit.
After the show, as we were gathering our wits to walk home, a guy came up to me and ACTUALLY said “Do you believe in love at first sight or should I go away and come back?” Luckily, he sort of flubbed the cliched line, allowing me to respond that he should go away.
We were trashed. But we couldn't go straight back to the hotel. We had to get Cherry's sleeping bag, pillows and suitcase from her car. Once there, she wanted to drive it. I told her there was no way that was going to happen. So, instead, We carried her stuff through the crowded street back to the hotel. People heckled us. We heckled back. I yelled at a guy for driving an SUV. Another guy yelled at me to shut up. Rene fell. Someone tried to snatch one of Cherry's pillows from Brugos.
It's really a wonder we got back to the hotel without being run over or beaten up.
We drunkenly staggered around the hotel for a while. I happily scarfed my Mexican leftovers. Somehow it came up that everyone should leave the room so that Brugos and I could have sex. We didn't argue. Rene said something about how having a curved penis is better and she hopes that
Brugos has a curved penis. Then Cherry, Justin and Rene grabbed a bottle of wine and left.
When they came back several hours later, we were told a disjointed story about getting told to leave by some Japanese people and Justin possibly spitting on the hotel manager's bald head. We were half asleep and just nodded.
SATURDAY
As had become the routine, we woke up just to get free breakfast and went back to sleep. Rene left. She was a lot of fun, but I was glad she took off before any of the hotel staff recognized her and kicked us out. Cherry came back to the room after moving her car. I've just realised they didn't actually end up charging us for her parking. How strange considering how infamous the inhabitants of room 447 were becoming. It was St. Paddy's Day. Brugos, Cherry and I began our day at the Filter party. Getting in was no problem, whatwith the old “I'm on the list” response. However, security was much tighter that day, and after one round of freebies, they began charging everyone who didn't have a wrist band or badge. No big deal. We'd definitely gotten our share of free Dewars courtesy of Filter Magazine. We met Andrew at the party. For lack of any better ideas, we stuck around for a while and watched the Pipettes play a set. Andrew hated them. Brugos hated them. Once they were compared to the musical “Grease”, I began to hate them. Oh well. Justin arrived and we hung out for a bit longer, but with no more free drinks and mediocre bands, our as extreme hunger compelled us to leave. Whilst searching for food, we elected to go to the least possible Irish destination: A Jewish Deli. Even there, they had $1 green beer specials. It was Bud Light and it was pretty gross. Their food was awesome (I ate a potato knish and some creamed spinach), and, for some reason, they corrected a small fry mistake by bringing us 4 large orders of fries. TOO MUCH. We were all quite stuffed after and needed to lie down, so we returned to the hotel for a nap. Andrew came with us. We dozed for an hour or so whilst watching the end of “Oceans 11” and the beginning of “Deep Impact”, before heading out again. Andrew took his leave of us, and I gave him a ticket to The Faint show, not really expecting him to show up.
We had time to catch the Human Giant Showcase at Friends Bar before getting in line for The Faint show. The organization at this venue was pretty ridiculous though. Usually at these places, they have a badge holder line and a line for civilians. They cut off the badge holder line at a certain point to let the civies in. They weren't doing that this time. More and more badge holders kept showing up and filling the bar while the civie line didn't move. We complained to the girl at the door. She kindly, eventually, let us in by sneaking us into the badge holder line.
In the end, though, we wouldn't have missed out on much. Patton Oswalt was supposed to be there, but he'd had to cancel. The Human Giant isn't all that funny. Eugene Mirman's set was good but I've seen him many times. It was hot in there. My stomach still felt terrible from lunch. I wasn't really drinking any more so I was just getting tired. My body was revolting. We stayed for the Tim and Eric set, but we couldn't really see the stage, so we had a feeling we were missing half the act.
We walked to La Zona Rosa around 11 for the 12:30 Faint show. We expected to see a big line. As we walked up, we saw no line and heard music coming from within. Had it started early? We sauntered up to the door and showed our tickets to the lady. She didn't know what they were. She called someone else over. He didn't know what they were. “The Faint aren't here,” he said. Did they cancel? “No. They aren't here. You can go in though. It's $20.” We asked who was playing. He DIDN'T KNOW. He brought us over to the door lady and asked her who was playing. “The Polyphonic Satellites, I think” she said. Um…The girl behind us said “It's the Polyphonic Spree.” Oh. Them, I've heard of. And the other band? “The Satellite somethings…” Hmmmm. Well, what about our tickets. The lady at the door looked at them and said “Those aren't real tickets. They're promotional.” Promotional for what? She asked us where we got them. We told her from Camel. She said “Well, they aren't real. They're laminated. They don't have a bar code. Who laminates tickets? They're promotional.” What are they promoting, we asked. They have a date and a time and a location on them. They don't even SAY Camel. “I don't know, but they're promotional. Do you want to come in? It's $20.” $20 to see the Polyphonic Spree and the Satellite somethings. No thanks! As we walked off, the first lady asked to see our “Promotional” tickets again. As she examined them, another guy recognized them and finally cleared up all the confusion.
They tickets were real. The Faint WERE there. At 12:30. PM. We missed them. OK, so we're idiots who can't tell time. But what of the 3 people who WORKED for the venue who not only didn't know that the Faint had been there at noon, but what bands were on stage at that very moment. Weird.
We didn't know quite what else to do. Every bar was packed with idiots. We wouldn't be able to get into any other shows at that point. We walked past the Alamo to see if there were any interesting midnight movies. There weren't. We went into one last bar and got a round. I couldn't drink any more. My stomach was very angry with me. I just drank water and finally suggested that we get some beer and head back to the hotel. As it was, we didn't get back till 1:00. We sat in bed talking and the others chain smoked. The next thing I knew, it was 3:30 and my hurt tummy was telling me I needed to sleep. The others kindly took the party to the balcony. For some reason, however, I was unable to fall asleep until they came back at 4:30. Getting up to catch a plane was not going to be fun.
SUNDAY
When I woke up, my body kindly asked me not to eat anything fried or drink anything alcoholic for at least 48 hours. I was happy to comply. We checked out of our crappy hotel room and I was surprised to find a straightforward bill at $140/night. We had an uneventful trip to airport, thanks to Cherry, and a quick flight. At the Denver airport, Brugos and I bought veggie laden sandwiches. My stomach was very happy.
At SeaTac, we waited for Justin, who was on a different plane, and then found the car on roof of the long term lot. Much to our chagrin, it didn't start. I enlisted some passing people in a VW to jump us but, for some reason, they had no idea how to find the battery in their car. We couldn't find it either. WTF? Luckily, AAA came shortly after that and we were on our way. We grabbed a quick bite of sushi at Blue C and then Brugos and I had to race to the Sunset Bowl for our first league night. We were home by 9. Sleep came quickly.
Pictures will be uploaded early next week!
Putting off the SXSW Recap
I am so busy at work and in general that the prospect of writing this recap is very daunting. But I had a blast and I want to share stories with my people, whoever those people may be. So I WILL definitely write one. I think that this time, instead of posting in chunks, I will compose the entire thing elsewhere and post at once with pictures. I'm hoping to complete this by the end of the week. In the meantime, here's an overview:
You STILL don't need a badge or wristband to have a good time at SXSW. Though I'm sure it helps because you get to be lazy and just saunter up to things without waiting in line. Brugos and I are both hoping to have employer-sponsored badges for next year. Without any credentials, we managed to drink gallons of free booze, see many amazing bands we've never heard of and a few awesome shows by people we HAD heard of, and see 2 mediocre zombie comedies that made me jealous of people with Hollywood connections. We also stalked Eugene Mirman, ate nary a green vegetable and went on a drunken march through the crowded streets whilst hauling pillows. SXSW is incredibly fun and I still want to go every single year till the end of time.
Weekend Recap
FRIDAY
Friday was somewhat of a trying day. It started at work with a bunch of issues I won't get into right now. But after, I met Brugos, Elyse, Meep and Ben at Bill's for a quick beer/meal before Crispin Glover's movie/slide show/lecture. I don't know what's been happening to that place but the service and the food have been steadily declining over the last couple of years.
My honey mustard dressing, previously considered by me to be the best in the city, tasted like water. My quesadillas were pretty dry too. Ben said his tortellini was pretty bland as well. It took Meep 20 minutes to get a beer even though the waitress actually passed our table 7 times. Also, her attitude (the waitress') was generally poor. It's a bummer because when Bill's had good food and a nice waitress, it was one of the Hill's gems, since you could always get a table, even at 11:00 on a Saturday night.
Anywho, Meep and Ben went to get in line at the Broadway Performance Hall whilst Elyse, Brugos and I went to grab some contraband for the movie. We got to the theatre just before they started letting people in. The theatre is small (ish) but it was packed. Although, it was NOT the crowd I was expecting. For some reason, I was expecting a bunch of freaky goth kids. Instead, I got Seattle's Most Pretentious Film goers. I would have preferred the goths. Listening to the conversations that people were having around us was somewhat excruciating. Also, there was no food and drink allowed in the theatre, so it was impossible to utilize our contraband.
Crispy came out with little fanfare, and started his slide show, in which we theatrically read to us from his “books” and accompanied the performance with slides of the pages. He creates his “books” by finding obscure public domain books and blacking out certain words, manipulating the pictures, pasting in his own pictures, and drawing and writing in the margins. In some cases, little manipulation is necessary to reach the desired result: strange-ass stories. I own the ones that can be purchased from his website. My favorite of the night, called “Round My House”, is sadly, not available for purchase. It sounded a bit like the first-person narration of a Dostoevsky character. I personally enjoyed the slideshow, but it did seem to run a little long. This ended up being a theme of the night. Continue reading
Hawaiian Adventure Recap
Yes, that’s right. I went to Hawaii last Wednesday and stayed through the weekend. Vacation days are scarce for me, but how could I pass up a most-expense paid trip to Oahu with the Brugos family? The rhetorical answer is, of course, that I couldn’t. So what follows is my recounting of the Little Goth Girl’s Hawaiian vacation.
WEDNESDAY
Brugos and I got on an early flight which would get us to Hawaii at 11:30am. This was, lovely because it left us practically an entire day of adventure after 5 and-a-half hours on a plane. Sometimes differing time zones can really work in your favor. Our flight was baby heavy (with one in particular screaming in Brugos’ ear the entire time), but we got through it and met the elder Brugoses and his brother Todd and brother’s girlfriend, Jessie at the airport. (Note: It was slightly difficult for me to get used to the fact that EVERYBODY there was a Brugos and that I had to just call my Brugos, Chris. But in the interest of consistency on my blog, Brugos will continue to be Brugos.)
Mother B greeted me with a fresh lei, which answered my internal question about whether or not you REALLY get lei’d when you arrive at the airport. We rented two cars and the kids headed off to the hotel in Waikiki.
Our rooms weren’t to be ready till 3 so we changed into our suits and headed to the bar and grill by the pool for drinks and snacks.
I immediately felt a little silly in my granny swimsuit. This has never been an issue for me in Seattle, but in HI, everyone is in a two-piece and I was definitely feeling conspicuously goth in all my extra fabric, so I asked Brugos if we could do a quick run to a surf shop after lunch to, perhaps, buy me a more practical swimsuit. How naïve of me to think it would be that easy.
I had forgotten that to find my current swimsuit, I had to search long and hard. Not for the granny aspect of it, mind you. That’s easy enough to come by. The difficulty arose in fining something that could contain my girls. This was before my surgery, but they are still fairly large and, apparently, still unable to squeeze into any bikini one might find in a beach-side swim-shop. I tried on the largest suits on could find, but the cup size never seemed to get any bigger. Not being a fan of shopping anyway, I tired of the ordeal quickly. I decided to go to one last shop. The little lady running the place got involved and tried to help. She asked me my size. I told her usually I am an 8-10 dress size, but big up top so probably a large. She said she thought I was a medium, but gave me the large. I tried it on and couldn’t squeeze in. I came out of the dressing room, ready to leave but she wouldn’t hear of it. “You try this one,” she said, thrusting another suit into my hands. I went back into the dressing room and suffered the same results. Apparently, she didn’t believe me, so she sent Brugos in to check it out. He confirmed the spillage and I tried to leave the shop again. On our way to the door, she continued to thrust tops into my hands, but I was fairly certain they weren’t going to fit. She didn’t seem to understand. “You not so big,” she said. I protested that I was actually a D cup which isn’t small. “No. You only a C,” she said. “That’s not what my bra says,” I argued. And then I realized that I didn’t really need to be arguing my breast size with the swim-shop owner and left. I haven’t been so frustrated by shopping since before my reduction and I had forgotten how crappy it felt to have so much trouble finding something to fit me. But as I talked it over with Brugos, I realized that few girls I know have the off-the-rack body that seems so prevalent. Most of us need to go to department stores. By the time I got back to the hotel, I was feeling ok in my granny suit again. Damn you, warm weather, for making me succumb, however temporarily, to societal pressures.
Swimsuit debacle over, Brugos and I got some booze from the corner store (each corner had, like, TWO of them…all of which sell liquor!) and had a quick little happy hour in our room before hitting the beach. Our hotel was right on the beach, so we didn’t have far to go to get to the ocean. I was pretty excited to see ocean. It’s been a long time. Brugos blew up the $3 raft we bought and we hit the warm-bathwater ocean for a little floating time.
After the sun started to set, we headed back to the room to shower and get ready for dinner. We met the family in the lobby and strolled up the street to a place called Lou Lou’s. A quick glance of the menu relieved my worries that this would be a trip full of salads for me. The veggie selection wasn’t awesome, but I had more than one option. I can see how poor Miki had so much trouble finding Vegan food though.
The live music was a little too loud, but it was pretty amusing. Three guys played Hawaiianized rock music including “Creep” by Stone Temple Pilots, “Riders on the Storm” and a ton of Beatles. Every song sounded exactly the same and were impossible to recognize until the lyrics began. So this is Hawaiian music, eh?
After dinner, we wandered up the street in the other direction. We stopped at the oldest hotel on the island (the name of which escapes me) which was large and white and had a bit of a Plantation feel to it in architecture. We had a drink by the pool and listened to two fellows playing MORE Hawaiianized versions of songs. This guy was playing songs that I don’t even like the originals of (U2 and “Sitting on the Dock of the Bay” come to mind). It was hard not to make fun of it. I think that Todd and Jessie were digging it though, because they seemed a little annoyed by mine and Brugos’ jokes.
As we sipped our drinks, we all realized we were quite tired. It was after midnight in our bodies, so we headed back to the hotel and went to bed.
The bed with its down comforter and down mattress topper was so ridiculously comfortable, that I was asleep in record time. I NEED to get me one of those.
THURSDAY
We met the family for the hotel buffet. The eggs were light and fluffy and there were plenty of things I could eat. The waitress came by to check on us and, apparently, flirt with Brugos and Todd. She asked Mother B why their sons were so good looking. (Burn!). She told Brugos that he looked like an actor and that she should know because her daughter works in Hollywood. She kept coming back to he table to say how good looking the boys were. At one point, she gave Brugos a palm reading and declared that he would have financial success and wife with a mind of her own.
Over breakfast, Mother B told us about the terrorist attempt out of Britain and the new reactionary measures at the airport. Since we still had a few days left there, I hoped that things would calm down a little bit before I flew out.
After breakfast, we headed back up to the room to grab some stuff, and them met Todd and Jessie in the lobby. Brugos and I consulted the concierge on a few important things like directions to a hike that we wanted to take and to a restaurant that my buddy Frankie had suggested in his hometown of Kailua. The concierge was impressed that we knew about the restaurant. Thanks, Frankie, for making us look cool. We also asked about the all-important karaoke, assuming that it would be in long supply in Hawaii. He didn’t know about much, just a little room rental place up the road. But he did say that the sushi bar upstairs in our hotel had it at 10:00. That was good enough for us!
Todd had purchased some boogie boards at a reduced rate from a hotel guest who was leaving, and we had our cheap inflatable thingy, so we nicked some towels from the hotel pool and headed out to Waimanalo Beach for some water play.
The beach was somewhat removed from the touristyness of Waikiki. I tried my hand at boogie boarding but was unable to get past the crashing waves to the calmer part of the water. After a few ear-fulls of water, I decided to read on the beach. Brugos did pretty well and stayed out for a long time. We thought we were being pretty diligent about the sunscreen.
After a few hours of beach time, we headed to Keneke’s BBQ, another concierge recommendation, for a snack. While we waited for our food, we looked around and began to notice a disturbing theme in the décor. There was a giant mural with a cross and some bible quotes and the query “What single event in human history had the power to split time?” Now, I don’t know the exact answer to this riddle, but I’m assuming, based on the fire and brimstone that surrounded us, that it has something to do with Jesus. Yikes! I took pictures of a few of the scarier/weirder messages on the walls. When I got my smoothie, I noticed that cup was chock full of Christian scariness. Had I known what kind of place this was, I wouldn’t have so readily forked over $20 for the cause of the “Fear God Powerlifters”. What gives, anyway? I would have expected this kind of thing below the Mason/Dixon, but we were supposed to be on an island full of godless heathens. Luckily, we got out of there before anyone noticed us non-believers.
On the way back to the hotel, we got a little lost. This wouldn’t have been so much of a problem if we weren’t meeting the Elder Brugoses in the lobby at 4:30 to go to the Mai Tai Cruise. We were pretty beachy and in need of a shower. Unfortunately, we got back at 4:20 and Brugos still had to park the car. He kindly dropped the rest of us off to rush back to our rooms. I just splashed some water on my face and changed and rushed back downstairs again.
The Mai Tai Cruise was actually a large catamaran run by two guys (who looked related). The deal was you paid a flat fee and they took you out onto the water at sunset, and gave you all the Mai Tais you could drink in an hour and a half. Brugos and I vowed to get our moneys’ worth.
While we waited for the boat to leave the beach, we saw some sea turtles in the water! I was pretty excited about that. Apparently, they like to come out and play in high tide.
The boat left the beach and the drinks began flowing soon after. The music was decidedly better on the boat. The Stones were prevalent. Our first mate/bartender was on top of things, bringing us fresh drinks the moment we finished our rounds. Papa B had a theory that if we drank an even number of drinks, we wouldn’t be susceptible to a hangover. By then, Brugos and I were on our 5th drink, so of course, we had to have another.
There was some sea-spray and a little rocking, but overall, the ride was very pleasant. As the sun set, Mama B coerced the couples to pose for pictures at the bow of the boat. I got a nice picture of the sunset. Brugos noticed that the boat was docking and we had consumed 7 Mai Tais. If Papa B’s theory held water, we would need another drink. I couldn’t possibly down another Mai Tai, so Brugos got us some champagne. We were, for all intents and purposes, drunk…in record time! And so was the rest of the family.
The plan, after we docked, was to return to our rooms to freshen up and then meet for karaoke in the sushi bar.
The others weren’t interested in eating sushi, so Brugos and I went to dinner by ourselves. When we arrived at the bar, Brugos asked about where the karaoke would be. “Oh, karaoke is TOMORROW night,” said the hostess. The concierge had given us bad information! We were gutted. But we were still hungry, so we sat down for some sushi and contemplated wandering the streets looking for a karaoke alternative.
The sushi we ordered was DELICIOUS. I had a pickled squash roll (which I’d never even heard of) and it was amazing. Brugos got what he described as the best tuna roll he’d ever eaten. We were definitely in love with our food.
While we enjoyed our spread, he got in touch with the family. They weren’t too upset about the karaoke. They were pretty tired anyway. We said we’d call them if we found anything worthwhile.
After dinner, we hit the streets. We walked quite a long way, but to no avail. I couldn’t believe the lack of karaoke in Waikiki. If only I’d decided not to be so mellow in this trip, I would have undoubtedly comprised an exhaustive list of karaoke establishments from google research beforehand. Why did I forsake the Baxter nature?
After walking about a mile to no avail, we began to lose steam and agreed to give up our quest for the night. Afterall, karaoke would be happening the following night in our very hotel. We could wait. We returned to our room and I once again fell asleep in record time.
FRIDAY
The rest of the family had golf reservations, so Brugos and I decided it would be a good idea to go on a hike. First, we would venture out to Kailua in search of Boots n’ Kimos, the breakfast establishment that Frankie recommended. We followed the very specific directions that our concierge had given us, but I think he gave us TOO much detail, because we had a little trouble finding it. When we finally found the place, we were slightly dismayed to see quite a large number of people standing outside, obviously waiting to be seated.
We went inside and put in our names. Inside, we noticed how small the place was. We were in for a long wait. And of course, I was starving. We got a menu so that we could be good and ready to order when we finally got seated.
Outside, we sat down, pulled out books, and waited patiently. After about 30 minutes of waiting, I noticed that this was a FRIDAY morning. It’s lucky that we came on a weekday. Imagine how impossible it would be to get seated on a Saturday or Sunday morning. I also noticed that quite a few people were getting food to go. After 45 minutes of waiting, I asked Brugos if he would be ok with getting OUR order to go. He said he was. I went in and put in our order. It was a good thing too, because we were still quite far down on the list.
When we finally got our food, I was ready to just eat in the car, but Brugos wanted to find a beach. Unfortunately, we didn’t know the area very well. We found water, but it was in a private neighborhood and there was nowhere to park. We drove around some more, and almost ended up driving onto the marine base, thinking it a park. Finally, we found a playground with a picnic table. That was good enough. Our food was, of course cold by then. The eggs and hash browns we got were only average. The “world famous” pancakes with Macadamia Nut sauce WERE delicious, but I bet they tasted even better hot.
After we ate, we briefly took advantage of the empty swing set, and then got back in the car to head to our hiking trail.
The Manoa Falls hike was another Frank suggestion. He said it wasn’t arduous, which was what I needed because I would be hiking in sandals. We pulled into the lot and were directed to a table full of bug spray to ward off mosquitoes. We walked past several chickens on our way to the trail head. Apparently, roaming chickens are fairly normal.
The trail wasn’t too bad. Hiking through the jungle was AWESOME. The trees in Hawaii are so cool. They are twisty and sinewy and look other-worldly. The falls itself was less than impressive. The concierge had hinted as such. The brochure he showed us was, he said, badly Photoshopped and that this time of year, we would probably only see a trickle of water. He was right. That was ok though. I really only wanted to see the jungle.
On our way back, we took a trail detour which was slightly harder, and muddy. It was a much cooler trail and we had no idea where it was leading. Had we more time, better shoes, and probably some mind-altering substances, we would have followed the trail to the end. As it was, we had none of these things, so we headed back.
On our way back to the hotel, we stopped for ice cream, and I got something I’d never had before: a Snow Cap. It’s shaved ice with condensed milk on top. It was amazing.
The jungle makes you sweaty, even if you aren’t working hard. Happy hour pool side was in order. Brugos touched base with the family, who agreed to give sushi and try, in the interest of karaoke that night. We went back up stairs to shower (so many showers in Hawaii) and then decided to check out Kelly O'Neils, an Irish bar that we’d seen the night before on our stroll. For some reason, I have to go to at least one Irish bar in every city I visit. I especially enjoy them in places that you wouldn’t expect to have an Irish bar.
We sat at the bar and ordered our drinks. A musician was playing tunes by that classic Irish bard, Jimmy Buffet. We noticed that a trivia game was going on, so we decided to join in. All you needed was a console. We did pretty well, especially considering we joined the first game late. For the second game, we came in second, losing by only 300 points (each question being worth up to 1000).
Then it was time for us to meet at the sushi bar. We got to our table, selected our sake, and Brugos asked our hip, young waiter about the karaoke. “Karaoke’s been cancelled tonight,” he responded. “The DJ had a family emergency.” Denied again! We asked him if he knew of anywhere else we could go. For some reason, he must have misjudged us, because he began spouting clubs with numbers for names. “Club 42, Bar 5”. We were so confused. “We just want to know about karaoke,” we said. For some reason he didn’t recognize us as dorks right away. He couldn’t help us with the karaoke.
After another delicious dinner, Brugos and I decided to try hitting the streets again. Karaoke not being a priority for anyone else, we were on our own. We went down a different street this time. It was even less promising than the first. We did get to see some Hawaiian whores, though. They looked so cute in their pink terrycloth dresses.
SATURDAY
Brugos and I met Jessie and Todd to try brunch at a different hotel. According to their guidebook, it was one of the best brunches on Waikiki. I disagree with the book. The wait was longer and there was less for me to eat.
After breakfast, we got our beach stuff together and headed out. Jessie and Todd wanted to go boogie boarding again. Brugos and I decided to go snorkeling. I’d never been before so I was a little nervous.
We arrived at Hanauma Bay and went through the 9-minute orientation (sung to the tune of “Under da Sea”. Then we got our gear and Brugos set about teaching me how to use it. I was pretty crap at first. I had trouble regulating my breathing and was a little freaked out. Brugos suggested that he go ahead and find a nice, calm area for us to head to. While he was gone, I practiced breathing slowing and calmly through my mouth. By the time he got back, I was ready to give it another go.
I got the hang of it pretty quickly after that. I was still slightly more preoccupied with breathing correctly than looking at fishies, but I’m sure that the next time I go, I will be completely fine. I really like swimming with flippers on. I can zoom through the water really fast. The fish were everywhere and I was amazed at how nonplussed they were about the presence of people. Often, I felt like I needed to get out of THEIR way. Pigeons aren’t even that mellow. Brugos directed my attention to a sea turtle. Unfortunately, everyone else in the area overheard him call to me, so 10 people rushed at the poor turtle at once. Of course, he bolted back to sea, but not before I got a good look at him.
We swam across the entire bay. Around that time, my mask started filling up with water. I’d already swallowed water once and had needed to take a breather, so I felt like I was done with this round. We headed in and turned in our gear.
We picked up Todd and Jessie and drove back to the hotel. That night, the parents were going to catch a show. Papa B described it as “Pilipino Music”. This did not appeal to me and Brugos. They were also going to have dinner at a steak house. This, of course, did not appeal to me. We decided to go it alone and have some more sushi at a different place.
I tried more new things. Some of them worked out (the corn roll), some of them didn’t (the fermented soybean roll). It’s not often that I find something SO unappetizing that I have trouble even swallowing one bite. Fermented soybeans, however, are in this exclusive category. They were pungent and slimy with a sticky film. Oh well. Live and learn.
After dinner, we went for a stroll through a quiet part of Waikiki and then returned to the hotel to wait to hear from the family. As we sank into the soft bed, we became less and less hopeful for evening plans. Around 10:00, they called and suggested a quick nightcap by the pool. We could handle that. We also agreed to meet for once last brunch together in our hotel the next morning.
SUNDAY
We brunched in our hotel. The flirty waitress was nowhere to be found. We were scared into thinking we needed to arrive at the airport 3 hours ahead of time, so we took off soon after breakfast. Jessie and Todd were staying on another day, and the Brugos ‘rents were catching a different flight to Maui for the continued vacation. Brugos drove with me to the airport. He was also going to Maui. We agreed to try and meet up for a drink, time permitting.
Security wasn’t that bad, so there was time for a drink. I was apparently not allowed to go to the inter-island terminal, but he could come to mine, so he generously agreed to go through security and meet me at what I thought was half way. (It wasn’t…whoops! Sorry!)
We had some nice, expensive airport cocktails and then returned to our respective terminals. I got on the plane easily enough (liquid-free) but was incredibly dismayed to find myself SURROUNDED BY FUCKING BABIES. Seriously. The flight was like a goddamned daycare. Toddlers roamed the isles, played with their loud toys, and watched DVDs on lap tops with the volume up (if adults can’t do this, why should children be allowed to?). Kids kicked the back of my chair. Babies cried. Parents bickered. It was horrible. Why do families like this GO on long vacations? It seems to me like they would want to wait until the kids were old enough to leave at home. They weren’t having any fun. The kids could care less where they were. Just wait a couple of years. It’s better for everyone. Either that, or families with kids under 5 should have their OWN flights. Please, someone look into this.
I was all set to while away the time watching “Mission Impossible 3”, but the sound in our row was defective. As a consolation, I got a free drink ticket which I redeemed immediately.
We landed in Seattle safe and sound, and I headed to baggage claim one step closer to considering sterilization.
The Con in Pictures
Faye's pictures of the con are awesome!! I hope the stupid link works!
COMIC-CON 2006 RECAP: PART III
SATURDAY
I didn’t wake up hung over, exactly, but I still felt weird on account of having had nightmares the night before. Faye noticed this, as I was apparently twitching in my sleep. I don’t remember details of the nightmares but they were disturbing enough to keep me in a strange mood for several hours after waking. The world felt a bit surreal for a while. Continue reading
Pictures!
Pics from Comic-Con are here! I will send links to other people's pics as I receive them. Enjoy!
COMIC-CON 2006 RECAP: PART II
FRIDAY
On our way to the convention center, Dom, Faye and I encountered one of San Diego’s eccentric derelicts. As we waited at a cross walk for the signal to change, an older, unwashed gentleman walked into the middle of the street. There weren’t any cars coming so he wasn’t in any immediate danger, but he noticed us standing on the corner and walked over to us. “So we’re waiting for the light to change, is that the way it works now?” he asked. We said that yes, that was what we were supposed to do. “Back in the Texas days, we could just get on our horse and ride across,” he mused. So apparently this guy is not just a tramp, but some immortal from a parallel Old Western universe wherein San Diego used to be Texas. Fascinating. He then, of course, asked us for money.
Back at the convention center, Faye and I continued our previous game of “Punch Trench Coat.” It never ceases to amaze me how many kids (and adults who should know better) insist on wearing an ill-fitting black trench coat in NINETY DEGREE WEATHER. Of course, “Punch Sensible Outfit” wouldn’t have been nearly as much fun to play.
Faye also came up with a hand gesture to illustrate a phenomenon we had been noticing amongst the geek population. The geek fart all-too-frequently puffed into the atmosphere not unlike that of a time-released air freshener. Unfortunately, the gesture merely serves as an observation, rather than a warning.
The ONE panel we were determined to attend that day was the Battlestar Galactica panel. We knew that this year’s con was much better attended and therefore surmised that such a panel would be quite popular. Therefore, we elected to stay in the room where BSG would be several panels ahead of time and simply move forward toward the stage as people left. It was by enacting this plan that we sat through the Hood of Horror panel and the Superman Through the Ages panel.
Hood of Horror is a new Tales From the Crypt type film staring Snoop Dogg as the Hound of Hell (i.e. the Crypt Keeper), Diamond Dallas Page, Ernie Hudson and a cute guy named Pooch who, for some reason, used expressions from the 40’s. Danny Trejo was supposed to be there too but he wasn’t. Snoop Dogg was apparently stuck in traffic so he answered questions via cell phone. It looks like a renter.
Superman Through the Ages was basically just a celebration of the release of the new Richard Donner director’s cut of Superman II (in my opinion, despite it’s problems for Donner, the best Superman movie). They showed the original opening of the film as well as an alternate scene of Lois figuring out that Clark was Superman and then testing him to save her life. This version was a lot less silly than the theatrical scene wherein she throws herself in the river and screams for 5 minutes. Donner himself was there (to a standing ovation) as well as the original Lois Lane from the TV show, Jimmy Olsen from Supes Returns, and Jimmy Olsen and the brut from Superman II. I’m still not a big fan of the Superman mythos, but I have always enjoyed the Donner movies so I must say the whole thing was pretty exciting. If Terrence Stamp had been there, I might have misplaced my proverbial shit.
Next up was the much anticipated BSG panel. Everyone in the audience was very excited as the introduced Ron Moore, the producer dude and the actors: D'Anna! Gaius! The Old Man! And…well, we were told it was Apollo. But it WASN’T! Imagine my sheer joy when none other than THE CHIEF walked on stage, replacing Jamie Bamber for whatever reason. I HEART the Chief! He was adorable and obviously, unlike his character, the biggest goofball of the group. It was a really entertaining panel. They all seem to have a very good time and, despite Eddie’s persistent comments about how this is the darkest show he has ever been apart of, and his digression about the Bird Flu, it was all very lighthearted. The audience questions weren’t even ALL THAT annoying. Unfortunately, my pictures didn’t come out too well, but you can still make out who’s who. CHIEF!!!
After BSG, we hit the floor to find Ben and Jump Street and happened upon the table wherein Brian Poshen and fellow creators of “The Last Christmas” were signing. I finally was able to buy my copy of the first issue (sold out of every comic book store in Seattle) AND have everyone sign it. They were very friendly and cute and make small talk with us. They also, apparently, sign messages for the ladies but not so for the gents. I love being a girl at Comic Con.
After that we were definitely ready for some food. We went to a pretty tasty Thai restaurant and then back to the con for Pitchin’ Impossible, a supposedly “useful” panel about pitching a cartoon. We had thought that perhaps its usefulness could be translated to pitching feature films. There were two main issues with this panel. One: They specifically stated that it COULDN’T really be translated to pitching a film. Two: Regardless of what medium we wanted to pitch, it still wasn’t all that useful. There was no mention on how to get a pitch meeting. No notion of how to get your foot in the door if you aren’t already in the business. THAT’S what we need to know, people. If they don’t even take our damned phone calls, your advice won’t help us.
The con was done for the day and so we hooked back up with Ben and Jump Street. Earlier in the day, they had received free passes to a sneak preview of Accepted, a new comedy starring the kid from the Mac commercials and the actor who is stealing Ben’s career. Their pass also invited them to a kegger on the lawn in front of the Hilton. We thought that perhaps we could tag team with the passes so that everybody could take advantage of the free beer. Well, my friends, the scam was even EASIER to pull than that. As you went in with your laminate pass, and they checked your I.D., you were given a wrist band to indicate your 21+ status. They did NOT take away the laminate and they only checked the wrist band for re-entry. So Ben and Jump Street came back out and gave us their passes. Then I went in and got a wrist band and Jump Street came back out one more time with the passes to get Faye and Dom in. Soon, we were all enjoying free “beer” (Miller Light) and ice cream bars on the lawn. Since it is now apparent to me that Comic Con won’t help my career, THIS is why I come to these festivals: for the scamming of the free booze.
As the party wound down, we snuck into the Hilton to use their bathroom. It was there that Ben MET Jonah Hill, a nice enough kid with an entourage of cute girls, and took a picture with him.
We weren’t ready to stop drinking, so we walked up the street and went into the first bar we saw that had seats for us. It was a sports bar and despite the host saying that they were expecting a huge crowd, the place was rather empty. We were seated and waited on by a very cute, Tina Majorino-esque waitress who brought us way too many drinks (apart from Dom, of course, who instead enjoyed a cone of chicken).
The place remained pretty empty so our service was top notch. A random guy sat at our table and talked to us for a while. Most of us got drunk. Ben was absolutely hammered. Eventually, we closed our tab and returned to the hotel. I made a phone call and Ben walked around our room in his underwear before we all passed out.
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!
COMIC-CON 2006 RECAP. PART I
So very tired. Many pictures. A few entertaining stories. As per usual, I will recap in installments. Hopefully I will have the pics uploaded tomorrow.
WEDNESDAY
Everyone took the day off of work but me. I only took a half day in an attempt to preserve my precious few remaining vacation days. The gang (consisting of Faye, Dom and Ben) met me downtown for lunch at Fado before we were to hop on the bus to the airport. Spirits were high. This was particularly exhibited in Ben, who entertained our waiter with his fervor. I had my first drink of the vacation: an Irish Coffee.
The trip to the airport was speedy and uneventful. We got to the gate in record time which was inconsequential because our flight was delayed. Apparently, there was something wrong with the seal on the doors, so they had to RE-seal the entire door and then test the pressure in the cabin to make sure we could all still breathe. While I am grateful that they were so cautious, it’s never pleasant to have a flight delayed two hours. Particularly considering the fact that airport bars aren’t cheap. Regardless, Faye and I each drank two pretty, overpriced fancy drinks and we waited to board.
On the plane, we decided to upkeep our buzz and expected to pay for the drinks (as they’d announced the prices at the beginning of the flight). However, apparently they were giving away free cocktails to make up for the delay. They were keeping this on the D.L., however, so that only we lushes who had planned to order drinks anyway, would discover the freebie.
We landed without incident and, since we planned ahead this year, our hotel was easy for our cab driver to find. We arrived too late to pick up our Comic-Con passes, however (the sole reason for us to arrive on Wednesday, rather than Thursday). It was also too late to get dinner, as everything near us was closed apart from a 7-11. We decided to sup on snacks and cold beverages and return to the hotel to watch a movie on Pay-Per-View. Even though the selection was sparse and poor, we IN NO WAY settled on and completed a viewing of She’s The Man. No sir. Ben, having NOT seen She’s The Man in the theatre, retired to his room to sleep and wait for his roommate, Jump Street (so nicknamed, by me and Faye, because he is training to be a cop), to arrive.
After NOT watching She’s The Man, we fell comfortably asleep in our air-conditioned bliss.
THURSDAY
Ben and Jump Street apparently woke up earlier than us and were ready to head down to the con to catch Ben’s first panel so we agreed to meet them later. Dom, Faye and I had a little more time because the first thing we wanted to see didn’t start until noon. We caffeinated on the way, and then got in line to pick up our passes. The previous year, we were able to wait in the much shorter “professional” line, on account of our film being in the festival. This year, we had to wait in the long line with the people. It was, however, a very efficient system, and we had our passes relatively quickly. We still had some time before our panels, so we wandered the floor for a bit. I read the signing schedule and discovered that Bill Willingham would be signing later in the day. I texted Ben to this effect as, he was currently reading Fables. Ben was apparently nonplussed about it, since he didn’t know who Bill Willingham was. Anywho, Faye and Dom parted ways with me and went off to learn about Writing for the Computer Gaming Industry. I went on my own to the CFQ Movie Preview panel to see some trailers.
The highlight of this for me was a trailer for the new Uwe Boll movie, Dungeon Seige. Of course, the panelists and much of the audience scoffed at the prospect. It baffles me that so many people can appreciate the accidental humor of Showgirls but fail to see the humor in the glorious ineptitude of a Uwe Boll film. The man is, if nothing else, consistent in making a lame, or otherwise uninteresting concept (a boring, obscure video game, for instance) into an incoherent, silly, and occasionally surreal spectacle. How can you not be entertained by that?! In the world of Uwe, Tara Reid is an Anthropologist who can’t even pronounce her own profession! Christian Slater is greasy and uncoordinated, but also an action hero! It’s BRILLIANT! The tradition is most assuredly carried on in Dungeon Siege (the full title of which is actually In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale). It’s difficult to make out any sort of plot from the trailer (if we’re to even assume that there IS a plot), but who need a plot when you have Jason Statham, fresh from some British gangster film, having not changed his look or demeanor one iota, fighting with swords in a far away and long ago land! Are there demons? Just regular corrupt royal types? Who can tell! But I do know that he fights SOMEONE and that Ray Liotta is involved. And also that Burt Reynolds, with his botched Botox face shows up in some sort of kingly garb. Who else is there? Why, Leelee Sobieski. (Remember when people thought she was going to be the next Jodi Foster? Well, now she’s in Uwe Boll movies!), Matthew Lillard (one can only hope he attempts an accent), Claire Forlani, and two actors who are INCAPABLE of saying no to ANY SCRIPT they are given: John Rhys-Davies and Ron Perlman. This is a winning formula if ever there was one. Unfortunately, since the rest of the world doesn’t seem to appreciate Uwe in the way that some of us more enlightened parties do, we may have to wait for video on this one. I was just as excited for BloodRayne, but could not get anyone to drive to Auburn to see it during the 3 days that it was released theatrically. But don’t cry for Uwe. No matter how critically panned he is, or how much money his films lose, he still gets funding to make new movies! This fact makes a believer out of me. Here’s hoping that one day he decides to collaborate with Joe Eszterhas. That pairing would either create the greatest bad film of all time, or else it would either usher in the end of days.
Sorry about that little digression. Uwe has that effect on me. Anyway, after that, it was time to meet everyone for lunch. Ben and Jump Street were finishing up somewhere, so Dom, Faye and I scouted ahead for a destination. As we headed into the Gas Lamp district, we were handed coupons for free appetizers at Rock Bottom Brewery. We looked briefly looked around for alternatives, but ended up at Rock Bottom anyway.
Back at the convention center, Ben, Dom and Jump Street went to the Pinky and the Brain panel, and Faye agreed to wait with me for Bill Willingham. As we entered the DC area, we looked at the name plates on the table and saw that Brian K. Vaughn, the one writer that Faye WANTED to meet, was signing. None of these people were mentioned on the website. Over the course of the next few days, we would learn that pretty much EVERYONE we would want to meet, were, in fact, there. Why they weren’t listed on the website, I have no idea. Perhaps they don’t know they are coming until the last minute? Are we then meant to carry around the books of everyone we would HOPE to run into, in the off chance that they will be there? Luckily, you can buy comics at the Comic-Con )go figure). This helped me because there are still some Fables that I don’t have. Faye, however, already owns the Brian K. Vaughn collection, so she just had him sign a poster for his new, not-yet-released book. We then went to find somewhere that I could buy Fables. On the way back, we passed the SLG (i.e. Goth Comics) booth and saw that Roman Dirge would also be signing later that day. Faye and I quickly bought a Dirge book we didn’t have and then got in line for Willingham. In the meantime, Ben, Dom and Jump Street had given up on Pinky and the Brain (apparently the line was too long), and were wandering the floor. I spotted David Arquette, my one non-panel or signing celeb spotting of the weekend. The previous year, the con had been littered with famous types running hither and thither. Perhaps they were more difficult to spot this year on account of there being TWICE as many con goers. Yipes.
Anyway, Faye and I waited for Willingham. And waited. And waited. An hour later, the line hadn’t moved at all. I peeked around the corner to find out what was causing the hold-up, but my lack of observation skills prevented me from learning anything. Faye went a little later and read the sign that explained everything. Apparently, the artist was drawing sketches for charity. He could pump out one sketch about every twenty minutes. Meanwhile, Willingham’s job of simply signing his name was being impeded by his meticulous artist. With only half an hour left in his signing time, his assistant brought everyone who only wanted a signature to the front of the line. I got my book signed and personalized and was on my way.
Faye had already gotten in line for Dirge. His line was efficient and we were up there in no time. Dirge, being a much simpler fellow, was able to draw Lenore IN my Lenore book and still have us out of there within 10 minutes of lining up. Gotta love those competent Goths.
Faye and I briefly stopped at the Film Threat booth to bother our friend Mark Bell, and then found our fellas. We dropped our heavy new acquisitions off at the hotel, and then wandered out into the world to find some dinner. Of course, by this time, everyone else at the con was also looking for dinner, and places were filling up fast. We became less and less choosy about where we ended up. We finally settled on a Mexican place on a side street. Several expensive, yet delicious drinks later (the mojitos were particularly delicious), our bellies were full, and we rolled ourselves back to the hotel. Ben, Dom and Faye were ready to retire, but Jump Street and I decided to hit the town for a drink or two. We found a nice, quiet sports bar (which was probably only quiet on account of it being Thursday), and had a few drinks whilst discussing comic book movies. The first round was free, since our bartender told us the total and then never came back.
Stay tuned for part II!
Effed by the Wind 
