Film Threat Review: Crazy, Stupid, Love.

2011
Rated PG-13
117 minutes

***

I was all set to hate “Crazy, Stupid, Love.”. For starters, the title is terrible. Not only is it a punctuation nightmare, but it also encapsulates everything that’s annoying about romantic comedies. Love, man. It’s so craaaazy! And stupid! The last thing we need is another movie about Metrosexual Henry Higgins teaching some nerd how to bag babes. The poster recycles that tired nod to “The Graduate” with an anxious man beneath the arch of a sexy lady leg. Along the bottom is a series of headshots of the other actors staring off into the middle distance and smiling knowingly about how crazy and stupid love is. Well, I hope that whoever was in charge of marketing gets a stern talking-to, because “Crazy, Stupid, Love.”, while possessing a few slightly unbelievable moments of coincidence, is not really stupid at all. Crazy!

Cal (Steve Carell) is utterly shattered when his adulterous wife (Julianne Moore) drops the Divorce bomb on him. By the time Playboy Extraordinaire, Jacob (Ryan Gosling), takes him under his wing, Cal has hit a lot of new lows including repeating his tale of woe to everyone within earshot at the local singles bar. After a refreshingly amusing variation on the obligatory training and makeover montage (peppered with much comedic slapping), Cal is ready to field test his new social skills. Predictably, he does everything wrong on his first night out. Nonetheless, it somehow works on a jaded wild woman (Marisa Tomei) who gets off on his extreme honesty. With Cal’s newfound confidence, the Dud-erpillar is re-born as a Stud-erfly. Once all that is out of the way, the film is finally free to become the drollest and distinctly mature mainstream romantic comedy in years.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that they loaded the cast with talent. Ryan Gosling flexes his impressive comedic muscles, breathing new life into the lonely lothario persona. Despite chiseled abs and a curious accent, Gosling’s Jacob is more Barney Stinson than the Situation, with a sensitive soul lurking just below the surface of his exfoliated skin. It’s not until he meets Hannah (Emma Stone), the only woman to ever deconstruct his methods, that he considers dropping the designer act and being himself full time.

Carrell’s abused puppy face isn’t anything new, but he’s really quite good at it. Julianne Moore effortlessly packs both humor and pathos into every line. Stone is almost supernaturally beguiling as a misguided pragmatist just out of law school. Tomei plays her part a little broad, but I’m assuming it’s because she didn’t read the rest of the script and based her performance off the tone that the title implies.

Even the youngest actors hold their own in a cute, if over-explored, love triangle subplot. Cal’s thirteen-year-old son, Robbie (Jonah Bobo) is in love with the four-years-older babysitter, Jessica (Analeigh Tipton). Meanwhile, Jessica crushes on an oblivious Cal, even before his wardrobe overhaul. Bobo expertly wields the articulation and mannerisms of precociously insightful youth. Though several years out of high school, Tipton manages to squeeze her adult self back into that awkward period when innocence and sexuality collide. Not bad for a former “America’s Next Top Model” contestant.

The clever script boasts plenty of surprises including an adorably self-aware seduction scene between Hannah and Jacob and just why it is that Jacob volunteers to help Cal in the first place. But the biggest revelation of all is that the film never goes where you expect it to, with Cal using his newfound self-esteem to trick his wife into falling for him again. In a time when comedies are mostly about outrageous one-upmanship, “Crazy, Stupid, Love.” just wants to tell a story about people falling in and out of love. Though it contains idealistic characters, the script (by Dan Fogelman, “Cars”) is realistic in its execution. No one is infallible and no one (apart from a few peripheral characters) is an archetype. Young boys do think in absolutes. Maybe Cal and Emily don’t belong together, but you can definitely see why Cal might think there’s something worth salvaging. There are also real consequences to Cal’s period of sluttery, including a disastrous encounter with Tomei’s character, who was expecting to be more than just a confidence bone.

Despite all the surprises, it’s not a perfect film. They throw the kind of yucky phrase, “soul mate,” around a bit too much for my taste. But the biggest narrative misstep is with the kids’ storyline. Hannah disappears for a very large chunk of the film (presumably, she’s in Bar Exam hell), to make way for scene after scene of Robbie’s relentless pursuit of Jessica as she pines for Cal. Fogelman was probably trying to drive home the juxtaposition of love in its infancy (Cal and Emily met in high school) to love after it’s been corrupted by life. But Robbie’s unyielding romanticism and know-it-all confidence gets a bit tiring. It’s nothing out of character for a lovesick thirteen-year-old boy. We just don’t need to see it every time it happens.

The film starts to lose focus after a big scene that ties all the characters together and there are far too many endings for a movie that doesn’t actually resolve anything. Like most comedies that run longer than 90 minutes, they could have trimmed a lot of fat.

Still, not bad for a Rom-Com. Not bad at all.

Originally published on FilmThreat.com

Film Threat Review: Bellflower

2011 FANTASIA FEST SELECTION!
Rated R
106 minutes

****

Forget those marmot-wielding guys in black from “The Big Lebowski.” Woodrow (Evan Glodell) and Aiden (Tyler Dawson) of “Bellflower” are the denotative Nihilists. Devoid of responsibilities, their days involve imbibing a constant stream of alcohol as they prepare for a “Mad Max” style post-apocalypse and… that’s about it. But their lives get a lot more eventful when Woodrow meets Milly (Jessie Wiseman), an equally unencumbered wild girl. They fall for each other like a ton of bricks but as the opening rapid fire backwards montage of brutality suggests, there’s no fairy tale ending for these crazy kids. What are on the menu, however, are large quantities of fire, one badass car and a riveting and wholly unique depiction of the dark places that love can take us. You may think you already know what heartbreak looks like, but trust me when I say you’ve never seen anything like Woodrow’s broken heart.

When we first meet Woodrow and Aiden, they’re doing what they probably do every day: build gadgets that serve no real purpose in civilization as it stands, but that would immediately rocket them to the top of the food chain if society crumbles. Their crowning achievement is a muscle car called, “Medusa.” This thing is Grace Jones on wheels: simultaneously beautiful and terrifying. But she won’t be complete until they can figure out a way to make her shoot flames. Only then will they truly be ready to rule like Lord Humungus.

Their end-of-days preparations are stymied when Woodrow meets Milly. Immediately smitten, he asks her out after she beats him in a cricket-eating contest at their local ironic hipster dive bar. Their first date turns into a week-long road trip to Texas, during which they get into a fight with a redneck, trade Woodrow’s tricked out car (complete with a whiskey dispenser in the dash) for a motorcycle, return to a raging party at Milly’s house, fight another guy and, finally, seal the deal with Aiden passed out a few feet away. Milly and Woodrow are balls out in love, but they’re clearly not headed for 2.5 kids in the suburbs.

Instead, the narrative beautifully smash-cuts straight to the end of the relationship, when, with just a few snippy exchanges, it’s clear that they have been living with deep-seated resentment for quite some time. Woodrow’s suspicions are confirmed when he walks in on Milly viciously fulfilling her first-date prediction that she would break his heart. Utterly distraught, Woodrow takes off on his motorcycle and soon, the rest of him is broken as well.

What happens next is as open to interpretation as it is horrifying. I don’t want to get into specifics but I doubt I could spoil the movie if I tried. Let’s just say that Aiden and Woodrow get their apocalypse, but it’s nothing like they, or you, could have imagined. I’m a recovering nail biter, and by the closing credits, I had fallen off the wagon pretty hard.

“Bellflower” isn’t just about the demise of young love. It also serves as shorthand for those kids currently experiencing early-adulthood limbo. They’re the Slacker Generation on alcoholic energy drinks. Their mechanical proficiency and eloquence suggest that they’re extremely gifted, if not formally educated. So what’s with the underachievement? There was probably never much hope for Milly. When I first saw her house, I actually thought she was a squatter. (Though, seeing as how she continuously stiffs her roommate on rent, she’s not far from it.) But with their skills, Woodrow and Aiden should be on “Mythbusters” instead of fucking around with blowtorches in between house parties. Perhaps it’s not entirely their fault. Assuming they did go to college, they graduated in the middle of a recession. Maybe they looked for work for a long time, but eventually gave up and got used to cashing their unemployment checks, draining their trust funds or however it is they procure their mad money. Yet, they share a few things with the preceding generation, like the continuous pop-culture laden dialog, the boozy escapades of misspent youth and doing things just for the irony and experience of it. I suppose you could call the film an updated “Reality Bites,” only without the adorably optimistic notion that, somehow, things will turn out all right.

The film doesn’t pull any punches from a technical standpoint, either. Joel Hodge’s cinematography lends a frenetic quality to the look of the film, and the omnipresent Hipstamatic filter often makes Bellflower Avenue resemble the wasteland that Aiden and Woodrow long to dominate.

Also noteworthy is Tyler Dawson’s performance as Woodrow’s fiercely loyal best friend, Aiden. Early on, it seems as though Aiden’s purpose is nothing more than comic relief. But when the shit hits the fan, his true character shines through, and Dawson handles it beautifully.

We can certainly credit some of “Bellflower’s” success to its basis in reality. Not only did Evan Glodell write, direct and star, he also built all the gadgets in the film, including the car and the camera used to capture it all. Normally, when someone spreads himself so thin on a film, some aspects will suffer for it. But Glodell doesn’t miss a beat. Perhaps it’s because the material is deeply personal. At a post-screening Q&A, Glodell confessed that he wrote “Bellflower” as purgation after ending a destructive relationship. That certainly explains the ultraviolence in the film. Let’s just hope the catharsis worked.

Originally published on FilmThreat.com

MetroNOTual

As reported by Slog, tonight is “the second of three public hearings on a proposed $20 “congestion reduction” car tab fee will be held at 6 p.m. in council chambers, 516 Third Avenue, 10th Floor”. Should the fee not pass, they will cut the follow routes:

1, 2 EX, 2, 3, 4, 5 EX, 5, 7 EX, 7, 8, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15 EX, 15, 16, 17 EX, 17, 18, 18 EX, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 26 EX, 27, 28, 28 EX, 30, 31, 33, 34, 35, 36, 38, 39, 41, 42, 43, 45, 46, 48, 51, 53, 54, 54 EX, 55, 56 EX, 56, 57, 66 EX, 67, 68, 70, 71, 72, 73, 75, 79, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 99, 101, 106, 107, 110, 111, 114, 116 EX, 118 EX, 118, 119 EX, 119, 121, 123, 124, 125, 128, 129, 131, 132, 133, 134, 139, 140, 148, 149, 150, 152, 155, 156, 157, 158, 159, 161, 162, 166, 167, 169, 173, 175, 177, 179, 180, 181, 182, 186, 187, 192, 196, 197, 200, 201, 202, 203, 204, 205 EX, 209, 210, 211, 213, 214, 219, 221, 222, 224, 230, 232, 233, 234, 236, 237, 238, 240, 242, 243, 245, 246, 248, 249, 250, 251, 252, 253, 255, 257, 260, 265, 268, 269, 271, 277, 280, 308, 311, 312, 331, 342, 345, 346, 347, 348, 355, 358, 372, 373, 901, 903, 908, 909, 910, 912, 913, 914, 916, 917, 918, 919, 925, 927, 930, 935.

Routes in bold would be eliminated entirely. Whether or not you ride Metro, this WILL effect you. Many of these routes are often filled to capacity with riders. You do NOT want those people adding cars to the roads. If you can’t make it to tonight’s hearing, you can still email a testimony to City Council here. There will also be one more hearing. PLEASE take a moment to tell them how these cuts will effect you. And believe me, if you live in Western Washington and aren’t a complete shut-in, they WILL effect you.

FILM THREAT REVIEW: Horrible Bosses

2011
Unrated
93 minutes

**

Most everyone has had a horrible boss at one time or another. It’s frustrating while you’re at work and funny when you’re removed from it, so a movie like “Horrible Bosses” should have written itself. That’s certainly why we would go to see a movie called “Horrible Bosses.” Instead, guys who penned such illustrious sitcoms as “Becker” and “Shit My Dad Says” wrote it, with help from the kid from “Freaks and Geeks.” Nevertheless, they did a terrible job.

Jason Bateman plays Nick, a salesman who is gunning for a promotion. Unfortunately for him, his boss is Kevin Spacey from “Swimming with Sharks” and what the film calls a “TOTAL FUCKING ASSHOLE.” Jason Sudeikis is Kurt, an accountant for a chemical company who also wouldn’t mind a promotion. His future is actually bright, until his grandfatherly boss (Donald Sutherland) dies seconds after proclaiming Kurt the heir apparent. Unfortunately for Kurt, there were no witnesses to this decree and his new boss is Sutherland’s “DIPSHIT COKEHEAD SON.” Charlie Day’s Dale is a kind-hearted spazz who just wants to get through his day as a dental hygienist without being sexually harassed by his boss, a sex-addicted “EVIL CRAZY BITCH.” (Predictably, his friends don’t see it as a problem because DUDE SHE’S SO HOT!!! Hilarious.)

The biggest problem with this premise is that it drags the tone all over the place. We are definitely meant to relate to these average Joes. We all work hard and are under-appreciated. We’ve been passed up for that promotion. We’ve seen our bosses exercise dubious judgment. We’ve been the recipients of an off-color joke or two in the workplace. Yet, it’s almost as if the writers have only heard about these things, not experienced them first hand. “Horrible Bosses” is the interpretation of a real workplace dilemma by people who have only ever worked in the innately over-the-top office called Hollywood. The bosses in this film aren’t just horrible; they’re almost supernaturally evil.

Spacey’s Dave Harken uses a realistically dismissive line like “We’re all on the same team,” to explain to Nick why he’s just given himself Nick’s promotion; but he follows it up with, “You’re my bitch. I own you.” A man with this much ego would never say something so obvious and direct because he’s already made his point with the subtler, cutting excuse that some are more equal than others. Bobby Pellit’s (Colin Farrell) threats to fire all the fat people and dump chemicals into the drinking water would never fly because he’s a walking law suit in an office full of disgruntled employees. The nymphomaniacal Dr. Julia Harris (Jennifer Aniston), is the most ridiculous of the three. If she were really as relentlessly, unquenchably horny as we are meant to believe, she would not wait around for a little mouse like Dale (Charlie Day) to satisfy her. She would fuck literally the next person she found and it would be all the same to her. I just can’t suspend my disbelief enough to go along with the premise that her desire to have sex, specifically with Dale, would consume her every waking moment and drive her to concoct elaborate schemes to make it happen.

The outlandish bosses aren’t even the most cockamamie plot point. I understand why the writers would go to great pains to explain why quitting isn’t an option; not many people would see a movie called, “Horrible Previous Employers,” but instead of using their over-educated brains to come up with a way to get their bosses fired, our hapless crew instead decides that they must be killed. Killed. Yes, their bosses are technically evil, but we regular folk don’t just kill people. It’s the whole reason why that hypothetical question about going back in time to kill baby Hitler is even a QUESTION at all. The characters cite similarly themed films, “Strangers on a Train” and “Throw Momma from the Train” when they discuss the plot to take care of each other’s problems. But the difference is that the characters in those films are as insane as the people they’re trying to murder. Nick, Kurt and Dale are shortsighted buffoons with no common sense, but they’re not crazy.

Another difference is that the characters in those influential films were one-of-a-kind, memorable personalities. We’ve seen almost every single character in “Horrible Bosses” before. In most cases, they were played by the very same actors. Jason Bateman is pretty much Michael Bluth from “Arrested Development”, minus the delightful eccentrics to play off of. Jason Sudeikis is the same lecherous dork from “Hall Pass” with a higher success rate for booty snatching. Charlie Day does the same yell-acting that I’ve seen right before the end credits of every “Always Sunny in Philadelphia” episode that precedes something I actually want to watch on FX. I was bored for them, when I wasn’t too busy being bored myself. Also, there aren’t any trains at all in “Horrible Bosses.”

Jennifer Aniston is the biggest question mark in this debacle. In the past, she’s proven herself to be a competent comedic actress. In her better roles, she’s managed to completely shed her distracting movie star quality, which is something that a Julia or a Sandra could never do. She still churns out plenty of crap, but she doesn’t usually demean herself in the process. Playing a sexually confident woman should be empowering, but instead she’s labeled as an “EVIL CRAZY BITCH” (because whenever there’s something wrong with a woman, it’s because she’s “crazy”). I’m not advocating the idea that a woman can’t be capable of sexual harassment, but there is little difference between the forward things she says to Dale and the lecherous asides uttered by Kurt. It’s not supposed to be creepy when Kurt says, “I’m going to go see that girl about her vagina,” but it’s crossing the line when Dr. Harris talks about her own vagina to Dale. Granted, this whole argument is rendered moot when you consider the fact that people like Kurt exist while people like Dr. Harris do not.

I have to give credit to a couple of funny gags peppered throughout, but the laugh-out-loud moments are few and far between. I don’t even want to list them, because if you end up seeing the film (likely, considering the cast), you’ll have nothing to look forward to. It’s mostly a lot of tired bits (like the now classic argument about whom among them is more prison rape-able) and oh-no-he-didn’t moments. The world was a better place before people were obsessed with making this year’s “The Hangover” (especially you, Guys who made “The Hangover”).

Originally published on FilmThreat.com.

Film Threat Review: Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop

2011
Unrated
89 minutes

****

There is a hell of a lot going on in “Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop.” It is essentially a complete portrait of a man. We’ve seen profile films before, but they usually just focus on the performance side of the subject. Rodman Flender’s film goes so much deeper, giving us an all-access pass into Conan’s brain. It’s a fascinating, scary and, of course, hilarious place. This is a man who wears his heart on his sleeve but protects it with a thin candy shell of biting humor. By the end, we really know him. Trouble is, once you really get to know people, you might not like them as much.

“Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop” has a lot in common with “Don’t Look Back” (1967), the documentary that revealed Bob Dylan as a brilliant prick. Though Flender has a long history with Conan, he didn’t impose any discernible bias in editing. He just turned the camera on and let the man reveal himself. This approach wouldn’t work for everyone. But when the subject is a firecracker like Conan, it’s practically the only way.

The film catches up with Conan soon after he receives his pink slip from NBC. As part of a tidy severance package, he is forbidden to appear on television for six months following his termination. Conan agrees to the terms but breaks out into a cold sweat at the thought of sitting on his ass for that long. So he immediately hatches a plan to launch a tour. He’ll bring a live show across the continent to repay all the loyal fans of Team Coco. At least, that’s the motivation he cites. But soon, it becomes clear that there is a secondary reason for going on the road. Simply put, Conan is addicted to performing. He absolutely needs his nightly dose of audience validation. It’s not clear what would happen if he went too long without it but something tells me we don’t want to find out. If he’s not playing to a studio or theatre audience, he’s going for laughs in the office, writer’s room, hotel suite, airport runway or street corner. One of the numbers in his stage show is a cover of Willie Nelson’s “On the Road Again” with the altered lyrics, “I can’t wait to get my own show again.” He’s anticipating the next fix when the proverbial needle is still in his arm. It’s a sickness (That’s his word, by the way). Conan O’Brien literally can’t stop going for the laugh.

Comedy is a simple word with a complex definition. For the Dane Cooks and Carlos Mencias of the world, it is just entertainment. For others, including Conan, it’s a lot closer to art. Though I’ve never been a fan of the talk show format, I’ve always respected what Conan does with it. He’s infiltrating a very mainstream form of entertainment, injecting the classic dick-and-fart-joke style with a cocktail of cerebral subversion. I’m not sure that everyone who watches his show gets that. I don’t mean to sound pretentious. A lot of his fans are very intelligent, perceptive people. But some of them are folks who don’t want to think too much about the things that make them laugh. It’s because of his ability to straddle highbrow and lowbrow comedy that he’s earned so many rabidly loyal fans from all walks of life.

He assures the camera that it’s not that he’s unappreciative. It’s not that he feels entitled. But there are times when he seems unappreciative and there are times when he acts entitled. He has several diva moments throughout the film. In one, he threatens to fire his long-suffering assistant when his take-out order is messed up. Even though she wasn’t even the one who made the mistake, he uses it as cautionary tale for not following instructions. “If you were an airline pilot, people would be dead right now,” he tells her. At one point, he compares himself to Anne Frank. He’s barely joking. Later, he admits that he’s “hard on [himself] and it bleeds onto other people.” So at least he’s not without perspective. He knows when he’s being an asshole, but he just can’t help himself.

The title doesn’t just allude to the tour, but to Conan’s general inability to turn himself off. He complains of being exhausted but schedules extra performances on his days off. He whines that everyone wants a piece of him, but he never says no to the fans on the street or the endless parade of celebrities and VIPs who invade his suite after every show. He worries that he will lose his voice, but he never stops babbling and joking. Sometimes the jokes get a little mean. During a meeting, he decrees that his staff must speak to him using a banana as a phone. All they want to do is finish the meeting, but, eventfully, they comply. You probably didn’t realize that “30 Rock’s” Jack McBrayer was even capable of frowning but it’s all he does when Conan mercilessly mocks him in a redneck voice and improvises a tune called “You Stupid Hick” for a room full of people.

Conan isn’t just a brilliant dick, though. He’s also a really nice guy who is very angry about getting screwed over by a network to whom he gave 22 years of his life. The tour is his much-needed rebound. He exorcises a hell of a lot of demons on that stage. Despite being run ragged from the show and the schmoozing, he still goes balls to the wall every night for his audience. He never brings any of his bitterness, weariness or baggage to the stage. He never lets his fans see how exhausted he is by their demands for autographs and ten different photo combinations. Sometimes, he even says nice things to his assistant. It’s possible that since his return to television, he’s found a balance that’s more Dr. Jekyll than Mr. Hyde. However, he frequently hints that making mean jokes is how he deals (or doesn’t deal) with stress. Though not as demanding as a tour, having your own show probably isn’t a walk in the park.

Rest assured, within all this therapy fodder is a very funny movie. Like I said, Conan is a brilliant comedian. Furthermore, his talent is completely innate. He delivers some of his best jokes off stage. It doesn’t hurt that Andy is often in tow. I’m fairly certain Andy Richter hasn’t met an awkward situation he couldn’t defuse with a perfectly timed one-liner. Andy is Conan’s Jiminy Cricket, keeping him from falling all the way down the Ass Hole. Whenever Andy is missing, the tone of the room is much heavier.

As is often the case with genuine people, Conan’s anger comes from a well-meaning place. He just wants to do his best at all times. He is his own worst critic. Conan O’Brien has definitely taken James Brown’s place as the Hardest Working Man in Show Business. He deserves all the praise he receives. Besides, if he were only the happy-go-lucky leprechaun from TV, it wouldn’t be nearly as interesting a film. “I might be a fucking genius or I may be the biggest dick ever,” he surmises. “Or maybe both.” I’m pretty sure it’s both.

Originally published on FilmThreat.com.

SIFF Review: Being Elmo – A Puppeteer’s Journey

2011
Unrated
76 minutes

****

Not many people have the drive and conviction to see their childhood dreams realized. If it were commonplace, you wouldn’t be reading this review because I would be too busy being an astronaut/actress/veterinarian to write it. Kevin Clash is one man who was able to turn his childhood dream of being a puppeteer on Sesame Street into a reality. Constance Marks’ documentary, “Being Elmo: A Puppeteer’s Journey,” is as fun and charming as the iconic red monster himself.

Since he was a little boy growing up in Baltimore, Kevin Clash knew he wanted to be a puppeteer. Like many children who faithfully watched “Captain Kangaroo,” “Sesame Street” and “The Muppet Show,” Clash longed to dive into the magical world he saw on TV. Only Clash didn’t just want to hang out with Muppets. He wanted to create and operate them. He scrutinized the images on the screen, trying to figure out how the puppets were made and brought to life. When he was 10 years old, he made his first puppet out of the lining of his father’s coat. The Clash family was not well to do, but the puppet was so good that Clash’s dad wasn’t mad. He just said, “Next time, ask.”

Clash started putting on shows around the neighborhood and soon landed a job on a local children’s show. It wasn’t until his mother cold-called head Muppet designer Kermit Love that Clash set out on the path to becoming the man behind one of the most beloved characters in the history of children’s television.

At this point, I may have lost some of you. But I promise that this feel-good movie really will make you feel good. For one thing, who doesn’t love the Muppets? Anyone born after 1970 will surely have connected with at least one of Jim Henson’s creations. There were so many characters and personalities, represented in the Muppet world and even the grouchiest among them were still lovable. One of the coolest things about Marks’ film is that it’s not just the story of Clash and Elmo. It’s also a first-hand account of what it was like to be part of the Jim Henson Company from its infancy. It’s remarkable how much of Clash’s journey took place on camera from his audition for Captain Kangaroo to behind-the-scenes work on his first Henson film (“Labyrinth”) and his eventual rise to lead puppeteer on “Sesame Street.” At his first visit to Kermit’s workshop when he was a teenager, Clash finally learns the Jim Henson stitch that had eluded him for so long. You can actually see him light up on camera as his years-long curiosity is sated. “Being Elmo” is a rare opportunity to watch what is essentially an entire career in fast motion.

The staggering talent on screen may also entertain you. Sure, he’s been practicing puppeteering since he was a child, but the fluidity with which Clash brings Elmo and other puppets alive is completely mind-blowing. We see a little bit of how he works when he teaches puppeteering to the cast of the French “Sesame Street.” He can turn any flapping-mouthed Muppet into a nuanced character with the slightest hand motion. He explains that you must always keep the puppet alive even when they aren’t speaking. It sounds so simple, but when you watch him work, you can see that it takes tremendous skill to pull it off.

If Muppet love or puppet mastery doesn’t hook you, then maybe Elmo himself will do it. When Clash first got a hold of the puppet, Elmo was a gravelly-voiced simpleton. Most people could take him or leave him, including the original puppeteer. Clash gave Elmo a complete overhaul by creating the hook behind the character. In his own words, “Elmo is love.” He modeled the character after his own sweet, loving, unconditionally supportive parents and made him enthusiastic, fun loving and all about the hugs. In one indicative scene, a terminally ill child has chosen to spend one of her last days with Elmo. If that doesn’t make your eyes well up then you need to take a nap inside a Tauntaun because you are ice cold.

It’s unusual for an artist with that amount of innate talent to lead a drama-free life. But apart from one divorce and some difficulty finding time for his own daughter, Clash is a totally normal guy. Better than normal since he spends the majority of his time on the road bringing Elmo to the people who love and need him. Near the end of the film, Clash speaks to a young aspiring puppeteer on the phone and decides to repay the universe by offering him a tour. The precocious little boy on the other end of the line is Clash’s career doppelganger. He absorbs every tidbit that Clash gives him and shows off his own homemade puppets. Unless something goes horribly wrong, this kid will be the next Kevin Clash. You couldn’t have scripted it any better.

It took six years for Constance Marks to assemble “Being Elmo” and her diligence shows on screen. But in many ways, the story sells itself. Clash’s tale proves that you don’t have to overcome extreme adversity to have all your dreams come true. Though, as Clash notes, Elmo is so much bigger than him. “Kids need Elmo” he says, “ and Elmo needs kids.” Elmo is practically a modern-day Jesus (without all that messy crucifixion stuff). He makes people happy because he offers them unconditional love. Who can argue with a sentiment like that? Assholes. That’s who. But even if you are an asshole, Elmo loves you anyway.

Originally posted on FilmThreat.com (now defunct).

SIFF Review: Detention

2011 SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL SELECTION!
Unrated 
88 minutes

1/2 star

At my SIFF screening of “Detention” the director (Joseph Kahn, “Torque”) introduced the film by arrogantly addressing the critics in the audience. “Don’t try to take notes,” he cautioned, “because you’re going to hurt yourself.” Insulting the intelligence of the people who will spread the word about your film before they’ve even seen it is not a wise move. Especially when the warning is completely unwarranted.

“Detention” is also not so much a film as it is a list of things. Most of these things aren’t even that awesome. Patrick Swayze, I’ll give them. But good riddance to the Backstreet Boys, Marcy Playground and 90s catch phrases like, “all that and a bag of chips.” These things do not deserve a renaissance. When the “plot” does advance, it doesn’t go anywhere even remotely original. There’s teenage suicide (don’t do it), body-swapping, mean girls, Saturday detention monitored by a bitter principal (Dane Cook), and a jock with the DNA of a fly to name a few. I guess if we’re not remaking individual movies, we’re assembling a hideous patchwork quilt of multiple ones.

The so-called characters also feel mighty familiar. Our main protagonist is Riley (Shanley Caswell), an awkward, intellectual loser girl who is really only unattractive because of her dark hair, frumpy clothes and perpetual frown. Her best friend is Clapton (Josh Hutcherson), a music-obsessed hipster who is oblivious to Riley’s affections. Clapton is dating Ione (Spencer Locke), an attractive, popular blonde who thinks that 1992 was the coolest year in history. The peripheral characters are equally familiar archetypes. I realize that they’re supposed to be but that doesn’t make it any less trite. It speaks volumes that Dane Cook isn’t the most irritating thing about this movie.

Much like the mouthy teens in the film, “Detention” thinks it’s a lot cleverer than it actually is. It’s just exhausting to watch a movie that winks at the audience with every frame. We get it, dude. Your movie is a parody of everything including itself. Actually, Kahn doesn’t even let us figure that out. At one point, a teen snarks that another is just “a loser making mid-90s pop references.” Wiiiink.

“Detention” is not complicated. Convoluted, yes. But anyone with a GED and a rudimentary knowledge of pop culture could follow the so-called twists. Especially since “Detention” breaks the all-time record for exposition. It’s not enough to have every character projectile vomit their back-story with the relentless velocity of a Gilmore Girl. Visual footnotes in the form of lists, charts, and labels regularly fly in and out of frame, over-explaining the things the characters don’t have time to say. Apparently, Kahn and co-writer, Mark Palermo, didn’t think their audience could figure out who the characters are for themselves. (At this pace, you might miss a title or two. But you wouldn’t be missing them.) Why he thought this film would be too clever for journalists is a mystery. I think it’s more likely that he wanted to preemptively respond to the inevitable scathing reviews.

Perhaps this film is an accurate depiction of today’s over-saturated teens, but that still doesn’t mean I have to like it. And before you accuse me of being an out-of-touch oldster who hates everything new, let me tell you that I loved “Kaboom!” and “Bellflower.” So I know what a great movie about pop-culture obsessed young people looks like. It doesn’t look a thing like “Detention.” It’s not that I can’t keep up, Joseph Kahn. It’s that I don’t WANT to.

Originally published on FilmThreat.com (now defunct).

SIFF Review: The Off Hours

2011 SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL SELECTION!
Unrated
93 minutes

****

Working the night shift in a truck stop diner is a lot like working on a space station. No one plans to do it forever, but as the years fly by escape seems more and more impossible. There’s nothing outside your door but darkness and desolation. Also, you’re pretty unlikely to meet anyone new. If you do, it’s a life-altering event. In “The Off Hours,” writer/director Megan Griffiths paints a powerfully vivid picture of day-to-day life in a small industrial town that is disrupted by the arrival of a handsome stranger.

Francine (Amy Seimetz) is a young-old waitress who carries out her nocturnal coffee-slinging mission, completely disconnected from the rest of the world. Her co-workers are equally detached, having resigned themselves to an unremarkable existence. In fact, everyone in Francine’s life seems in no hurry to improve his or her situation. That is, until Oliver (Ross Partridge) walks through the door. He’s a banker-turned-trucker on a new route that frequently brings him through town during Francine’s shift. He’s kind and soulful and seems to be just what Francine needs to reignite her snuffed life. Through he’s receptive to her flirting, he makes no secret of his status as a family man. She is appropriately discouraged by this revelation, but is nonetheless unable to stop herself from falling for him. He’s the opposite of everyone else in her life and he could sweep her off her feet if he weren’t already off the market.

Minor plots concern Francine’s colleagues. The other waitress, Jelena, is less-than-thrilled about her side job as a call girl. Stu, the diner’s owner, is a divorced, alcoholic father to a teenage girl who fails to deal with personal issues as impending tragedy looms. Francine also has a complicated relationship with Corey (Scoot McNairy), her roommate and foster brother who harbors more than fraternal feelings for her. Director Lynn Shelton gives a commanding performance in a small role as Stu’s long-suffering ex.

The performances are uniformly excellent, but Amy Seimetz pops in the lead role. She imbues Francine with a great deal of depth, quickly shattering the first impression of a simple small-town beauty. Her expressions speak volumes without going into detail about her past. She can’t stop herself from flirting with Oliver but she clearly knows that acting on her feelings is ill advised. He invigorates her and it’s not just because he’s a new boning prospect. She’s not incomplete without a man. It’s just that sometimes it takes someone new to remind you of your potential. Francine is rare bird in cinema: a complete female character with complex desires.

“The Off Hours” is a great film, but be warned. It’s is a character-driven piece, meaning it’s pretty light on the action. There are numerous shots of people staring meaningfully off into the middle distance. It’s got (literally) gritty realism. Everybody is really sad and nobody gets what he or she wants. In other words, you really have to be in the mood for it.

Originally published on FilmThreat.com

NFT Radar: Nook

All For The Nookie!

Seattle was once known as a granola hippie town. Now, it’s all about flour and butter. Following the heels of the pie renaissance, an apprentice of Top Chef’s Richard Blais and former Mad Woman/self-taught baker opened up a cafe that specializes in biscuits; REALLY AWESOME biscuits. They’re buttery as hell without leaving you feeling like you’ve just taken a dip in a deep fryer. You can eat them plain, with a variety of gourmet toppings, or in breakfast sandwich form. For lunch, they offer creative warm sandwiches on Grand Central Bakery bread, rotating soup, and customizable grilled cheese with twelve options. Weekends, they do a biscuit brunch. The selection includes poutine biscuits and strawberry shortcake. I’ll let that sink in… Nook is as cozy and adorable as the name suggests. Owls and Mason jars abound. Small booths line the left wall and there are smaller booths by the window. It’s like eating in your hipster grandma’s kitchen. The downside is the limited hours (Tue-Fri 8 am-5 pm; Sat 8 am-2 pm, Sun 10 am-3 pm). Fortunately, they have plans to extend them through dinner. They’ve also applied for a liquor license. Good thinking. Maybe all this extra fat will help us get through the endless winter.


4525 University Way NE
206-268-0154
www.nook206.com

Cross-posted from Not For Tourists.

SIFF Review: Burke & Hare

2011 SEATTLE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL SELECTION!
Unrated
91 minutes

*

“Burke and Hare” has all the ingredients for a delicious film: Legendary director John Landis (“American Werewolf in London”, “Animal House”), Simon Pegg (“Spaced”, “Shaun of the Dead”), Gollum, other notable “Spaced” alums, murder most foul and Tim motherfucking Curry. Perhaps everyone involved is past their sell-by date because the resulting film is completely unpalatable.

The so-called black comedy tells the semi-factual tale of two dimwitted Irish con men who take a job fetching cadavers for an anatomy professor (Tom Wilkinson) in 19th century Edinburgh. Their employer is racing against another doctor in an attempt to create a complete, anatomically correct map of the human body for His Majesty the King. Because of the profitability and immediacy of the work, Burke (Pegg) and Hare (Andy Serkis) quickly decide to stop messing about in graveyards and start making their own fresh cadavers…with wacky results!

I’m concerned about Simon Pegg. There was a time when he was considered the Tyler Durden of pop culture nerds. He quoted like we wanted to quote. He fought zombies like we wanted to fight zombies. But while Edgar Wright, his Project Nerdom partner in crime, kept his integrity intact, Pegg became the British Kevin James. His transformation began somewhere around “Run, Fatboy, Run”, metastasized with “How to Lose Friends and Alienate People” and has been fully realized with “Burke and Hare.” If Dickensian ghosts were to have visited Simon Pegg on the set of “Hot Fuzz,” the Future Ghost would have shown him this movie. Though, to be fair, Pegg is not the only one to blame.

“Burke and Hare” is a ridiculous mess. The “jokes” are juvenile. Prat falls abound. People empty chamber pots onto the heads of other people. There is a metric ton of humping, a spit take and slapstick galore. It insults in the intelligence of its audience with erroneous allusions to MacBeth. It dips into genre parody territory with modern gags like a discerning doorman at the pub and a crime boss in a pimp vest. Characters take credit for prematurely inventing modern-timey things. It’s “British Movie” minus a Wayans brother.

The actors also seem to have checked their souls at the door. Every performance is as fish-limbed and dead-eyed as the next. The women in the film (Isla Fisher as Burke’s theatrical love-interest and Jessica Hynes as Hare’s shrewish wife) are only there for eye candy and scapegoating respectively. I thought that all British people were born with the ability to switch effortlessly from accent to accent but Pegg’s Scottishy-Irish brogue is almost as confusing as whatever it is Isla Fisher is doing (and Home Girl is from Scotland).

If you’re going to make a movie in which your protagonists are actually killing innocent people, you better make them as lovable as a bag of kittens. Barring that, some over-the-top viscera could make up the difference. But “Burke and Hare” fails at every turn. It’s a romantic comedy without jokes or romance. It’s a horror film without the horror. In short, it’s stupid as hell and frankly, I’m embarrassed for everyone involved.

Originally published on FilmThreat.com (now defunct). 

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