weekend recap | Effed by the Wind

15 Daisies for $29!

LONG-ASS WEEKEND RECAP

There was a lot of drinking involved. Let’s see if I can remember everything.

FRIDAY
The plan was to meet B and Alex at McCormick’s but, even though we got there a little past 4, it was already full. Ashley, our receptionist, came with us. We walked down 1st for a bit but everything was pretty crowded, so we decided to hop on the bus and head to Tia Lou’s, a nice little Mexican restaurant with a rooftop deck. We got there before we opened so we thought we’d have a quick drink at a snooty place next door. Upon examination of the menu, however, we learned that the average cocktail ran $10-12. No thanks. So instead we pretended to be having trouble deciding as we killed time. After the second time the waitress came back, we decided we would do better waiting outside the door at Tia Lou’s. This whole process only took about 10 minutes, but we still felt kind of bad. Still. $12? How good can your drinks really be?

Tia Lou’s is home of the delicious, bottomless chips and salsa and the $4 happy hour quesadilla, as well as the $6 fuck your shit up margarita. They take a while to bring the bill though. Ashley took her leave of us (perhaps offended by the bad things we were saying about Forest Gump?) and the rest of us headed to the Lava Lounge to meet Sherwood.

Sherwood was killing time before seeing Sonic Youth and was sitting with his show posse. There wasn’t a lot of room at the table for us. No matter, though. We had designs on the shuffleboard table. For the first game, I miraculously beat B. Then, more true to form, Alex beat me (though it was kind of a close game). Then B beat Alex and then me again. The drinks kept coming and the music they were playing (80’s hits) only got better. The euphoria of good music combined with woe too much vodka and tequila is what undoubtedly made me believe it was a good idea to meet Ryan and the Kidd at Ozzie’s.

I never have a good time at Ozzie’s, but for some reason I keep getting convinced that it will be fun. Maybe because everyone ELSE seems to like it so much. But I don’t. I can’t explain it, really, other than to say that the vibe is all wrong. I feel like I’m crashing a frat party. Also, usually someone in my crew ends up pissing off another patron at some point in the evening. Last time I was there, I pissed off the waitress by asking for water when there was CLEARLY a poor-your-own station not 5 feet from where I was sitting. And then I spilled my drink. This time, I was just not having a good time. And I was extremely drunk which always makes ones bad time a hundred times worse. Maybe singing would have made me feel better, but I didn’t want to sing. I just wanted to leave. And eventually, we did, managing to pour ourselves into a cab and astonishingly make it home.

SATURDAY
The way to spend the day after a night of debauchery is, of course, to do nothing. And that’s what I did. B and I lounged around in the sun and read for, well, probably too long, as we got a little burned. But it was a nice day for it.

Then it was off to the Seattle Center to watch the results of the 24 Hour Play competition of which Meep, Dom and Ben were a part. We had some time to kill before the doors opened, so B convinced me that we should ride the little roller coaster they have there. It did look like fun, and I always liked the coasters at King’s Dominion back home. However, the big coasters apparently feel a LOT safer than the little ones. Our little car shook and creaked as it zipped around the sharp turns and near vertical drops on the tracks. A minute later, it was over, and I was only slightly sheepish about fearing for my life.

There were 6 plays that ran a little over 10 minutes each. They had been written, cast and rehearsed within the previous 24 hours. Meep directed one, and Dom and Ben each performed in one. Most of them weren’t terrible for having only been a day old. Meep’s piece was definitely the most solid, if you ask me. Poor Dom was in one of the more poorly scripted ones. Ben was in the best scripted, but weirdly blocked one.

After the show, we headed to Kozak’s where Brian’s birthday inebriation was already in progress. Kozak’s is a bar that seems to get worse every time we go. For a bar that usually has NO clientele, the waitress sure is inattentive. We had to get our drinks from the bar. It is also the home of the worst karaoke sound system and DJ in Seattle. The guy has no charisma, takes forever to find your song (and often gets it wrong), and plays horrible, K-Mart collection funk in between each performance. There’s no stage, just a table on top of a table that we’re meant to stand on. And you can’t hear anything. It makes good singers sound bad and bad singers sound even worse. These things become less of a problem when 5 drunk boys sing “Fat Bottom Girls” (which was dedicated to me and Meep…um…thanks…) at the top of their lungs. However, it makes me very sad that there is karaoke on a SATURDAY so close to where I live and it’s awful.

SUNDAY
The early part of the day was spent playing child’s badminton ($5 at Walgreens!) in B’s back yard. Then we got invited to join some Amazonians at Beer Fest in the Seattle Center. This was perfect, as we had plans to see Superman Returns 3D at the IMAX. Despite the world’s worst music (white-boy funk followed by cheesy, half-assed Scottish bluegrass), the Beer Fest was fun. The events proceeds went to PAWS, so there were dogs everywhere and a little PAWS booth full of kittens. Kittens and beer. Who could ask for a better way to spend a Sunday?

Apparently the IMAX show was sold out, so we rushed to the theatre to pick up our tickets and hopefully not get too shafted on seats. We were in the second row, but it wasn’t as unpleasant as I’d expected it to be.

I liked the movie. I didn’t love it. As everyone is saying, it was basically a rehashing of the plots of Superman: The Movie and Superman II, minus the glorious camp of Terrance Stamp and Gene Hackman. And while that Routh kid is indeed a spot-on Christopher Reeve, and Singer knows how to frame a shot, who really needs it? It didn’t help that the parts they chose to 3D were LLame. Ooh. Young Clark Kent is leaping through the corn field RIGHT AT US. Whatever!

I’m also a little concerned for Kal Penn’s career. I really like that kid and I don’t want to see him become either Bad Indian Stereotype Guy or Career Background Character #2. I think he had one line. And they didn’t even let him sing Wilson Phillips.

MONDAY
Though I had to work, Monday fell within the holiday weekend and shared characteristics with a Friday, so it is included in the recap.

In the evening, I joined B in Ravenna for some more child’s badminton (which is much easier to play in a park then in his back yard). Then Sherwood and crew and the Brunswicks stopped by his house for a little impromptu BBQ action.

After some REALLY good stuff that made us talk about poop and yard sales, the Sherwood crew took their leave, and B and I walked over to the Knarr with the Brunswicks.

At the Knarr, I was reminded why I never play pool. I suuuuuuck. I’m much better suited for being in charge of the juke box (which, apparently is stuck in a 1996 time warp). We finished our games, the Brunswicks headed back to the Hill, and B and I played pinball while we waited for my songs to finish. To our dismay, both South Park and Medieval Madness were possessed by evil, quarter-eating demons. An actual PIECE of the South Park game became dislodged during play and Medieval Madness kept registering tilt at the SLIGHTEST force. I hate those bastards.

TUESDAY
The day began with breakfast followed by a nap. Well rested, B and I then headed to a BBQ at his friend John’s house. There were good people, REALLY good food (must procure some of that olive and fig tapande), and deliciously evil Sangria. We played some more badminton and B challenged a few other people to some games. I’m getting quite good at child’s badminton. Perhaps I should find some children to destroy in a match.

John’s porch had a nice, only slightly obstructed view of the AT&T fireworks which, as I’m sure you local folks know, featured some sweet-ass new fireworks this year. I particularly liked the ones that looked like jellyfish. We could also see the show put on by the poor bastards that are the 4th of JulIvars. I feel kind of bad for them. Their show pales in comparison to the AT&T spectacle. I guess there’s just not that much money in chowder.

And now, a short but inspiring tale of Human Kindness: As we were leaving we realized that B’s car, which was parked facing up a rather steep hill, was stuck in the sand that lined the side of the road. He spinned the wheels for a while to no avail. Just as we began to devise alternative methods for getting home, a neighborly gentleman appeared with two wood planks and the know-how to get us loose. Apparently, this kind of thing happens all the time on that hill. He put the planks under the back wheel; B backed onto them, and was able to then pull forward to freedom. The gentleman advised us that were we to park there again, we would be wise to do so facing down the hill. Nice people like that give me the warm fuzzies.

I will never understand why we don’t have the day AFTER the 4th of July off instead. It’s as much of a drinking holiday as New Years.

NEXT WEEKEND: Meeps birthday and Johnny Depp.

July 5, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

my zejom

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

The weekend kicked off with dinner and cocktails at the Liberty. In attendance were Brugos, Elyse, Booze (who would apparently be disturbed to learn that she is being mentioned in a blog) and Scott. This was a totally different experience than my first one with Meep on a Sunday afternoon. Of course, a Friday will always have a different vibe than a Sunday as far as clientèle and crowd size, but this was also (and perhaps more so) an employee issue.

The sushi chef and waiter were different than the ones Meep and I encountered previously. I ordered the same drink that I had gotten before, but, for some reason, it wasn’t nearly as delicious (partly due to lack of a sugared rim?). The sushi rolls that Brugos and I ordered, whilst still delicious, weren’t presented as fancily. Perhaps these details had something to do with the difference in treatment of two single girls on a Sunday versus a group of mixed gender folks on a Friday. Regardless, it was a bit disappointing.

Things only got more uncomfortable as our waitress’ demeanor was slightly odd. She seemed like she had never waited tables before and was extremely nervous about it. She was meek and forgot drink orders repeatedly. Still, she carried a certain charm in her shyness. And she seemed to appreciate the fact that every time she came to our table, we were talking about something weirder. We also had a little drink mishap wherein the drink that Booze ordered (being the same drink that she had just gotten and liked) tasted different, and not at all pleasant. We passed the drink around and confirmed: it was gross. Scott remarked, with the waitress present, that it tasted like baby aspirin. The waitress thought he had said “baby ass”. Luckily, she seemed to find that funny, and not at all disturbing that this man might know what baby ass tastes like.

The small space began to fill up and, by 9, there were groups of people playing table vulture. Our couch spot was much coveted, but we were just about done anyway. A new waitress arrived on the scene. Unlike our cute and sensibly dressed shy waitress, this new blonde girl wore a ridiculously short shirt which would make it impossible for her to daintily lean down to take the orders of people sitting on couches. She, clearly believing herself to be super hot, didn’t seem bothered by this. She helped clear our table and asked Scott if he would like another beer. He said no thank you and she respondede with a bitchy smile with what I SWORE sounded like “good”. What the fuck? I asked Scott if she had just said “good”. It was loud in there so he wasn’t sure. However, after we had settled the bills with our shy little muffett, the blonde bitch (who Booze and I had just witnessed making a BIG show up putting her long, flowy hair in a ponytail), came up to us to collect our bills. “Are we all set here?” she asked. We said yes. This time, in NO uncertain terms, she flashed her cunty little smile at us again and said “good”. It occurred to me then that she was taking over the shift and knew that she wouldn’t be collecting the tip from us, so she wanted us out of her section ASAP. But she shouldn’t make it THAT obvious to people who may, one day, be in her section and responsible for her tip. Needless to say, I won’t be spending a lot of time in that place on a Friday or Saturday. Sunday is the way to go.

After we vacated the Liberty, the Boobergs and I crashed a birthday party for one of Brugos’ friends at the Canterbury. The birthday girl was extremely drunk. I’d never met her before, but she apparently felt it was her duty to mention the fact that she caught Brugos leaving Capital Hill at 7:30am on a weekday. She didn’t “want to get [him] in trouble” though. She mentioned it two more times, even after I told her that there was nothing suspicious about this and that the girl she saw him with was most likely me.

T’was the evening of the bitchy blonde waitress. I missed that sweet little blonde waitress with the piercing and said so, realizing after the fact that it made me sound like an 80 year old man. I suppose that wouldn’t be the first time I have sounded as such.

SATURDAY

I spent most of the day getting ready for the Hovelwarming: Two trips to Safeway, one trip to Walgreens, one trip to the liquor store and one trip to the party store on 15th. (Thanks to the ailing Meep for accompanying me on errands). This was followed by a good cleaning of the apartment. Of particular note, I used TWO lint rollers in their entirely in order to clean all of Tobe’s hair off the couch. And this was AFTER I vacuumed it. Note to self: invest on a cream-colored couch cover and pillow set ASAP. Or shave Tobe.

I then started in on the baking. I finished decorating the Triscuits with easy-cheese just as the first guest arrived.

The party was a lot of fun. And most of you should know as you were there. Thanks to the Boobergs for the truly lovely orchid (my first plant in the new place…god, I hope I don’t kill it) and to Meep for the AWESOME framed picture of my sweet little Tobe. Thanks Borg for the long-coveted costume dress (which I can only hope looks at hot on me as it did on Borg). Thanks, Ahe for the gourmet boxed wine and to Howland for the traditional Franzia variety. I now have enough cheap wine and beer in my apartment to last at LEAST a week.

The only awkwardness occurred when LITERALLY everyone I work with arrived. They had been drinking since noon. They were in frat mode. They didn’t mesh with my other guests. They also may have pissed off my neighbors when they loudly shotgunned several beers out back. Note to self: keep co-workers and friends separate when’ere possible. Further note: hide rubber novelty dildos when boss is in apartment, for he will surely chase the receptionist with said novelties.

The evening finished out with Sherwood, Borg, Howland and me enjoying the cool night air in the parking lot and debating not whether or not the destruction of humanity will occur, but when and how. It looks grim, but if I find myself at the end of the world with similar company, I won’t complain.
SUNDAY

Something compelled to wake up early and clean. Perhaps it was the knowledge that I had a bit of a search on my hands for all the kitchen objects that my boss and the intern had decided to hide the previous night. Perhaps it was the dips and hors de’ oeuvres festering in the kitchen. Regardless, I was quite proud of myself when, an hour later, the only evidence of a raging party sat in 3 bags of recycling. If I can keep up this kind of compulsive cleanliness, I might actually be mistaken for an adult.

Brugos joined me for breakfast, after which we hit the road to seek out the ultimate mini-golf experience. This experience was found at Parkland Putters in Tacoma. It was a lovely day to be outside. With 4 courses to choose from, we ventured the “wild and hilly” course. It was indeed challenging, but we welcomed it. And we each scored a hole-in-one during the course. We received ribbons to commemorate our competition. Brugos was sported the blue and I the red, but it was a close game. Besides, everyone knows that first place is second loser. NO FEAR!

We wanted to do a little T-Town karaoke but had hours to kill before this would happen, so we decided to fill our bellies and hang out at Point Defiance for a bit. We lunched at El Toro (not the one that Meep and I used to frequent, since that one was reduced to ash and rubble in a fiery inferno, along with our dreams and innocence), grabbed delicious Antique Sandwich Company milkshakes and snagged a nice little spot on the world’s softest grass on which to digest.

After that, we wandered around Never Never Land, Fort Nisqualy, and the waterfront, before heading to Bob’s Java Jive to await the karaoke.

Bob’s Java Jive is the very definition of a punk rock dive bar. Why there isn’t a place like that in Seattle is beyond me. Brugos pointed out that were a punk rock dive bar that had a smoking patio and karaoke 7 nights a week in Seattle; it would have been packed with people, even on a Sunday. In Tacoma, however, the place was empty. Eventually, the DJ showed up. Brugos and I were the only people in attendance who weren’t close personal friends of the Java Jive. The song selection was pretty good and there were definitely some unusual selections available. We were kind of nervous to be singing at what essentially felt like a private party that we were crashing. They didn’t seem to thrown by our presence though. Twice when Brugos was up, the ENTIRE room (which was only 4-5 people) went outside for a smoke. This included the DJ.

Before we knew it, it was 11:45 and, this being a school night, DEFINITELY time to hit the road. Since it was late Sunday night, we assumed that I-5 would be empty and that we would be home in no time. Dead wrong. Apparently, some genius decided that Sunday night was the perfect time to reduce I-5 from 4 lanes to ONE. Very frustrating. This was compounded by the fact that we both had to pee. Eventually, the merging was complete, we had peed, and traffic was moving normally. But it was well after 1am by the time I was snug in my bed. Amazingly, I am only HALF a zombie today.

June 26, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: travels, weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

The obvious choice.

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

After work, I met Meep at the grocery store to purchase provisions and catch the buses to Fremont for Elyse’s birthday party. I made a little bus cocktail for us.

On the bus to downtown, we overheard two crusty, possibly homeless, possibly just hippy types exchanging recipes across the aisle. Apparently, they were all about the “fresh grated parmesan. Not that other shit.” We also saw a teenager holding a bouquet of flowers and inexplicably taking swigs from a bottle of Tabasco sauce. We could not figure out her motivation for doing so. She was alone so it didn’t appear to be peer pressure.

While waiting for the Fremont bus downtown, Meep and I consumed our bus cocktails. The bus to Fremont was less eventful than the bus downtown. We got to Fremont 30 minutes early, so we decided to have a drink at the much lauded Buckaroo Tavern. It was, indeed, a very pleasant experience, full of gentlemanly bikers and big comfortable booths.

We arrived at Elyse’s just in time to test out her karaoke machine, which is one of those self-contained mic units that gives you a grade when you’re done with your song. Early on, Meep set the precedent with a score of 92 that was, to my knowledge, not beaten. Her song was “Alone”, by Heart. Naturally, she did a great job with it. More people showed up and someone had the idea to play suicide karaoke, wherein you let someone else choose your song. I played one round and got a song I had NEVER HEARD in my LIFE. I powered through and made up a melody, but the machine knew, and gave me a mere 27 points for my efforts.

A special mention must be made for the hors de’ oeuvres. Apparently, they were all from Trader Joes. Nonetheless, Elyse did a fabulous job heating up those mini quiches and onion tarts, the memory of which still haunts my taste buds with deliciousness.

Considering that Meep and I were already two drinks in by the time we arrived, and wasted no time opening our bottles of libation, the evening flashed by. Before I knew it, everyone was extremely drunk and it was time to go to Laser Floyd already. Unfortunately, Elyse had to wait for an out of town friend without a cell phone, so she was unable to come with us to the laser show; the activity that SHE had chosen for her birthday. Part of me wondered if this was some sort of prank that Elyse had come up with to entertain herself on her birthday; getting all her friends to go agree to a laser show and then making up a story about an out-of-town friend so that she could stay behind and we could spend our Friday night with high school kids. But since the show actually was pretty neat, I’m sure Elyse would have come if she could.

Still, it was kind of weird to be waiting in line with a group of teenagers right behind us. We began to joke about what laser shows were comprised of in “our day”. The best one was Borgia’s “Hand Puppets and Glen Miller”.

Despite the show being pretty neat, I was still laying on the floor after consuming mass amounts of alcohol, so sleep was inevitable. I think I was only out for a minute or two.

After, we discovered that Meep had left her bag at Elyse’s so we went back for it, finding the birthday girl already snug in her jammies. And for the rest of us, it was most definitely time for bed.

SATURDAY

The morning and afternoon were spent doing very little and enjoying every minute of it. Brugos and I got breakfast at the Wayward café, which is all vegan and very delicious. I must attempt to make those chocolate coconut pancakes on my own.

We talked about walking over to the Fremont Solstice parade but TV and laziness won out.

At 5, I met Sherwood and Dom at Araya (second vegan restaurant of the day! Mark would be so proud.) and we stuffed our faces with scrumptiousness. Then we got in line for the Seattle premier of the Strangers With Candy movie. Meep was supposed to meet us too, but the poor girl was still hurting from the night before. I had no trouble selling her ticket, however, as the movie was apparently the hottest show in town. This would be the only SIFF movie I would see this year. Every year, SIFF gets more and more mainstream. I used to think it was neat that such a big-deal film festival was in my town. But now, why would I pay $3 above regular movie price to wait in long lines for a movie that’s just going to be out in theatres in a few months anyway? I wouldn’t. But I made an exception for Strangers With Candy because 1) it’s a movie I’ve been excited to see for a while and 2) I assumed one or more of the filmmakers would be in attendance.

Turns out it was just ONE filmmaker, Paul Dinello. Still, it was pretty cool to see him introduce the movie. The movie itself was funny. I definitely think that Strangers With Candy works better in a shorter format. As it was, it just felt like one long episode. I didn’t much see the point. But it was in the spirit of the show and still funnier than, say, Nacho Libre probably is.

Afterward there was a Q and A. It started off kind of annoying. It was the usual extreme fan boy questions (“My question is about this thing that you casually mentioned on the season two, disc 1 commentary…”) but eventually someone asked a question that “Amy would know the answer to”, so Paul decided to give Amy a call. She was in New York, working on a book which is why she wasn’t at the screening. It being close to midnight in New York, she was also asleep, but she very graciously answered the question on speaker phone, and also said hello to 700 very excited fans. It was neat.

After Amy hung up, someone in the audience shouted “Call Colbert”. Paul said that he was probably asleep as well, being that he was in North Carolina with his family, but that he would try his cell and we could all leave a voicemail. He put the ringing phone up to the mic and the voicemail kicked in “Hello. This is Steven. I’m not here right now…evidently. So please leave a message.” After the usual 5 minutes of operator instructions, Paul left a quick introduction to why 700 people would about to be cheering into Steven Colbert’s voicemail, and then we all cheered. It was neat.

Next, we parted ways with Dom and then Sherwood and I caught a bus back to the Hill. Sherwood went home and I met Brugos at Neumo’s for the Twilight Singers show.

The first opener was a guy called Jeff Klein, who was in love with his large guitar pedal collection and wouldn’t let us forget it. He also clearly had a tendency to do his hair in the dark. We couldn’t wait for him to get off stage.

The second act wasn’t too bad. They were called After Hours and their sound was all over the map. One minute they sounded like old Afghan Whigs and the next minute they sounded like ELO. It was enjoyable, though.

More enjoyable still was the flabby, middle-aged woman in a tight black outfit who danced like a maniac throughout the Twilight Singers set. The show wasn’t as good at Neumos as it had been in Austin. But it’s hard to top seeing any band you really like in a small, intimate bar, over seeing them in a large, packed club. Plus, I was kind of tired from having done nothing all day. We left during the second encore to beat the crowd and it was off to bed.

SUNDAY

Brugos accompanied me to yoga, which I hadn’t been to in over a month. As a result, I knew it was going to hurt. I was right. I really needed it though. My back, which had been bothering me lately, felt better immediately. It still does. I really mustn’t slack on my yoga.

I briefly considered staying in and trying to finish up organizing my apartment, but decided against it when the opportunity to go to the House of Fun and play Karaoke Revolution presented itself.

Karaoke Revolution is really fun. And it turns out that my fears of it making me feel incredibly untalented were unfounded. I still know I don’t have a pretty voice, but I’m apparently not bad at the game. It helped, I think, that you’re able to create characters that look kind of like you. Like a hyper-sexy version of you. Or, in Brugos’ case, like a version of him in a hilarious tiger suit.

After a while, we worked up an appetite and then got some yummy Indian food, the leftovers of which I plan to consume shortly.

After a feast of Indian food, there’s really nothing for it but more lounging in front of the television. I love a productive weekend!

NEXT WEEKEND: My hovelwarming! Be there, bitches!

June 19, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

I saw you in the croahtom

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

I began Friday in typical Amazon-groupie fashion, by meeting Brugos and Andrew at Temple Billiards for a co-worker’s birthday. We had a few drinks, one of which was bought for us by Eugene Mirman’s shorter, less pasty doppelganger. That doesn’t sound like a compliment, but it is.

Three drinks in, we realized we needed to eat something. For some reason, Andrew was in the mood for a cheesy, yuppie family-style atmosphere, so he suggested the Cheesecake Factory. I conceded to this idea, despite my better judgment, because Brugos had a gift card.

Luckily, it being Friday at dinnertime, there were NO seats in the place, including the bar area. A much more desirable plan B was quickly formulated in which we would go to the Honey Hole.

As we walked up the hill to our delicious sandwich destinies, Andrew and Brugos, in typical fashion, pointed out the Hey-O’s. As you can probably deduce, a Hey-O is their word for a hottie. Having hung out with mostly males my whole life, this type of thing doesn’t bother me (even when it appears that there is little criteria involved in designating a Hey-O other than a strong suspicion that they possess a vagina). What DID make me feel a little left out what the fact that I wasn’t seeing ANYONE of the male persuasion to Hey-O for myself. This lead into a discussion about the differences between men and women. It’s true, even in the most lusty of situations, I am somewhat incapable of separating a guy’s looks from what his appearance suggests for his personality. For instance, I will refuse to designate a perfectly handsome individual as a Hey-O if they look like they spend more time in front of the mirror that I do. Or if they look like they would bore me to tears with a dissertation on Godard. Or if they look like they probably have centerfolds from Maxim taped to their bedroom walls. I can’t help it. I can’t JUST think about having sex with them. I have to also think about what it would be like to spend even 5 minutes outside of the carnal act with them. And if I deem that time unpleasant, I am not attracted to them at all. Therefore, for every 50 Hey-O’s that Andrew and Brugos see, I MIGHT find one. And if I took any time to analyze them, they would probably be disqualified.

Case in point, at the Honey Hole, I found a total of two Hey-Os. The first was an indie-shirted fellow in dark glasses drinking alone in the corner of the bar. He had a very sensuous nose. He was eliminated by virtue that he looked kind of sad and therefore probably had a lot of baggage. Andrew disagreed, surmising that he was probably in a band and therefore his attitude was justified and also sexy.

The other Hey-O was a typical Buddy Holly, striped shirt type. His girlfriend looked like a controlling bitch. This didn’t make me feel sorry for him. It made him less hot.

Oh well. At least my vegetarian BLT was delicious.

By this point, we were well on our way to Drunky Town. As we sipped our awful $5 Long Island Iced Tea’s, Andrew began doing lewd things with a napkin and a salt shaker. This was, of course, hilarious. Thank god I had a digital camera on me that took video. In no time, we had crafted the greatest condiment porn ever improvised. I plan to edit it to music and enter it into HUMP. According to their rules and regulations, they HAVE to show every entry. I guess that means I’ll be going to HUMP.

Next, we met up with Derek and a lady friend of Andrew’s at the Satellite. When we showed our condiment porn to them, we were relieved to discover that it actually WAS funny, and not just some juvenile, drunken, in-the-moment thing. Validation!

We saw the angry indie-rock star again, drinking at the bar and then going outside for smokes. Maybe it was the fact that I was drunk, or maybe he really did appear to be in a better mood…but he really was getting hotter. Interesting…

Andrew, Derek and friend then headed to Neumos (perhaps to see our mysterious indie friend perform?) and parted ways with me and Brugos.

SATURDAY

After a nice leisurely morning, Brugos and I headed to Cal Anderson Park (formerly Hobo Park) to join the event known as Urban Golf. Costumes were encouraged, so I wore my most hot-topic golf outfit, which was a yellow plaid dress adorned with chains and black lace. I looked pretty straight compared to everyone else. People went all out. It looked like a rave in the middle of the day. One team had a Borg theme and decked out a golf cart to look like the Borg ship. It was pretty bad-ass.

The organizers had designated 9 “holes” throughout Capital Hill, with a bar at the end of each hole at which to take a break and have a drink. They determined where a hole began and where it ended, and it was up to you to get your foam ball there by any means necessary. People were pretty creative. A lot of people weren’t even using real golf clubs. I saw a lot of hockey sticks (plastic or otherwise), tennis rackets, and even a cricket bat. To make it easy on everyone, the first hole was a straight line down the fairway of the park. The first bar we stopped at was the new bar, Purr where one single overworked bartender had to serve an endless line of freaks. She didn’t look too happy about it either.

The second hole began at the bottom of the Value Village parking lot, and ended on the sidewalk above the wall. Urban golf is all about ingenuity. People were using whatever they could find as tees to launch the stubborn little foam ball into the air. In the end, I just decided to lob the thing over. I got a 3 on that hole and I didn’t even have to destroy an innocent piece of garbage.

Then it was on to the Wild Rose. By this time, people already quite drunk. I was certainly feeling a buzz myself. The Borg team arrived and began “assimilating” people by marking them with…markers.

The rest of the holes would take us through alleys, parking garages and parking lots.
We stopped at the Frittes place, the Comet, Bill’s, and the Kinkora. If nothing else, this event was REALLY good for Capital Hill bars. Every bar we went into was packed. I had to leave right after the Kinkora to catch a ride to Queen Anne for Dom’s party so I didn’t get to finish the game. Before I left, I posed in a bulldozer in front of the fancy-pants condominiums that used to be mine and Dom’s low-rent apartment building. I love a new MySpace Photo.

I don’t know if I would have won the game, but I was doing pretty well when I left so I’d like to think so. I really hope they do this again. I will definitely be in. Maybe with a better costume next time.

I met Faye and Borg and we drove to Dom’s new apartment for the Dompire Housewarming. It was REALLY nice to see “The Empire Strikes Back” uncut and in widescreen. I haven’t seen that version since, well, since it came out in the theatre. Quite a treat. Thank you, Dom! Dom’s place is really nice. I hope we can have many more movie nights there.

After, the movie, things started winding down. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but fall asleep on the couch. Sorry, guys! The old lady needs her rest.

SUNDAY

I began my morning with a little DDR-size. Then I went to Faye’s for brunch and a movie. We watched “Me, You and Everyone We Know” which I’d seen a week before and loved.

The day was too beautiful to waste so we went to Volunteer Park, stopping on the way to get waters, magazines and a $5 child’s badminton set.

We played a mean, only slightly awkward round of netless badminton. I’d like to think we would have both been much better if we hadn’t been playing with mini-rackets and foam shuttlecocks. Amazingly, my arm is still sore today, as if I’d actually been doing something athletic yesterday.

We took a break to drink water and read crappy magazines in the sun. It was also a good day for people watching. Our friends “lurking smoking man” and “shirtless cell phone guy” were in attendance.

After the sun grew cold, we wandered back to 15th. A fortuitous spur-of-the-moment decision led us into the new bar, The Liberty. We selected several vegetarian sushi dishes and ordered a round of fru-fru drinks. (A Lemon Drop for Faye and an Apple Card for myself). It was then that Faye and I noticed the most remarklable thing about The Liberty. It wasn’t their creative drinks or ingenious sushi combinations. It was the staff. For some reason, the nearly empty bar was staffed by no less than 4 people…and they were all HOT. Not magazine hot. Just regular, Saturday night on Capital Hill hot. This came after Faye and I had been lamenting a lack of Hoerauf/Baxter style men to ogle. Apparently, they’ve all just been busy working at The Liberty. “What’s Andrew’s word? Hoo-Ya?” “Hey-O”, I responded. “But Hoo-Ya can be our female equivalent”. Apparently, “Hoo-Ya” is pre-existing Hoerauf family word anyway. I’m glad to be a party of a long-family tradition. There was the beautiful bastard spawn of Scott Grimes and Jason Dohring, the thin bespectacled, sexy geek, the tattooed, understated hottie, and, for the fellas, the fresh-faced natural beauty who wiped down tables. To be fair, these gentlemen were more Faye’s type than mine, but I have always been able to appreciate a Faye Hoo-Ya. There was also a fella working double duty as a Faye and J Hoo-Ya: A boyish face combined with a bit of the tattood scruff. We’re not sure if he worked there; he just sat at the end of the bar reading and talking to the bartenders. But he did seem like he planned on spending a lot of time there. Ladies if you like your men to look like well-combined c-list celebrities or just fun-loving, attractive indie-geeks, get your asses over to the liberty. Also, their sushi was DELICIOUS.

I had planned on actually getting some organizing in my apartment done. Two Apple Carts in changed the plan from “working around the house” to “buying mixers and watching Mr. and Mrs. Smith with Faye”. The movie was, of course, terrible. But it was a great way to wind down an extremely pleasant day.

June 12, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

You got some time

Good afternoon, Mr. President. Sorry I've been away so long. I won't let you down again.

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

After work, I met Andrew and Brugos at Gameworks, as their company was having a little gathering. I didn’t realize how awesome the Happy Hour there is. ALL drinks and appetizers half price? I found it difficult to argue with a $4 Long Island. So I didn’t. Must remember Gameworks when looking for Happy Hours.

Even though I now live on a bottom floor and can DDR when ‘ere I please, I couldn’t resist playing the arcade version. But not before I watched some CRAZY kid blow everyone away with his skillz. This skinny teenager had his level set to “Methamphetamines”, and his feet were moving so fast that he actually had to hold on to the railing behind him for what I can only imagine was to prevent himself from propelling forward. Not only were his feet moving at an alarming rate, but he was hitting EVERY ARROW in the process. This kid made Green Dress Girl look like a bloody amateur. Incredible. One can’t help but fear for the kid’s love life, however.

Andrew kindly shared with me the spoils of his slot playing, by purchasing me a little plastic army man for the princely sum of 5 tickets. Thanks, Andrew! My army man (Floyd) now resides on my key ring with my bottle opener and my Noel Gallagher key chain.

After lingering too long at Gameworks, Brugos and I were to meet a co-worker of his to hitch a ride to Wenatchee, where we would be white water rafting the next morning. On account of too much Gameworks fun, compounded with Slurpee cocktails, we didn’t get on the road till after 8. The drive up was really cool. It was fairly foggy and the mountains loomed over us with blue majesty as we drove East. We had entertained the notion of camping, but it was dark and raining a bit so we decided that a cheap motel would be the way to go. We naively thought there would be something affordable in Leavenworth. After making one stop, the desk clerk at the Luftwaffle Inn (or whatever), suggested that we would have more luck in Wenatchee proper. So onward we drove, inquiring at a few major motel chains, before settling on the amazing deals at Lyle’s Motel. Our room was sparse, but the price was right, and all we need to do in it was sleep. Brugos and his co-worker went to get a quick beer and I stayed behind to watch Dr. 90210. Apparently, I didn’t miss much. Must not be a big bar culture in Wenatchee, even on a Friday. Or perhaps we weren’t clued in to the hot spots. Meep?

SATURDAY

Woke in time to grab a quick breakfast with the Sweat Pants Mafia (at least I’m assuming that was the reason for so many teenagers about in sweatpants) at Denny’s. Then we headed to the rafting rendezvous point, only slightly late on account of someone’s appointment with the Porcelain President.

We quickly squeezed into our company issued wetsuits and booties (trying hard not to think about how often they wash them in between tours) and hopped on a bus that would take us to the launching site. (Dubious hygiene aside, the wet suits were fun to wear. I felt like I had finally been asked to ride in the Blackbird.)

I was a little nervous at first, whatwith the “we are not responsible if you die” waver I had to sign and the cautious talk from our guide. Soon, however, I realized that this was quite the touristy event and only a moron who doesn’t follow instructions (of whom, I’m sure, there are enough to warrant these types of disclaimers) would fall to peril. It was actually pretty easy to stay in the boat. (I have this on good authority. Because if it were easy to fall out, believe you me, I would have done it). It may be that the rapids themselves were rather mellow during our time out, but I have a feeling that they wouldn’t allow a bunch of first-timers to go out in dangerous conditions, even with the “it’s not our fault” waivers.

Anywho, the trip was awesome, despite me having to pee pretty much the WHOLE time and despite getting totally biffed in the face with a big wave. It was like the end of the log ride stretched over several hours. And I was in the front of the boat, so, like with the log ride, I got drenched. The sun was shining, however, so I stayed warm enough.

After the trip, we were treated to a BBQ lunch (included in the price), shown pictures of our trip (including several of me inhaling water!) and sent on our merry way.

Since the weather in Eastern, Washington was certainly beautiful, and the weather back West was uncertain, we decided to linger in Leavenworth and play a round of mini-golf at the Family Fun Center. Whether it was due to brownies consumed with lunch of a little bit of sunstroke (from a wicked burn on my poor, pasty arms), my game was suffering. Still, I did not come in last place. So even with a handicap or two, mini-golf is still my best sport. (Shut up).

We stopped at a neat little roadside bar called the Booby Trap for a beer, before heading into Seattle around dinner time. Dinner was eaten and then I promptly fell asleep, not waking up again until after 9. Considering Saturday night a loss, I went to bed. Apparently, rafting really takes is out of you. Or maybe it was the mini golf…

SUNDAY

I spent the day organizing my media. It looks much less cluttered in my apartment, but I am still not happy with the overall appearance. Hopefully, I will have something satisfactory by my hovelwarming. However, since it is a Caucasian Squalor party, perhaps having everything neat and organized would be counterintuitive.

Then Brugos and I went to the Central Cinema to catch the last program for the Seattle True Independence Film Festival. I probably wouldn’t have seen anything in the festival were it not for the fact that my friend Danny’s short was playing. Unlike most film festival programs, the shorts were all pretty decent. Danny’s was especially enjoyable. Unbeknownst to me, however, the program contained a feature. LIKE many features in independent film festivals, it should have been a short. A SHORT short. Instead, it was one hour and 16 minutes of silly Jew jokes, pelvic thrusts and references to gay sex (the latter of which seemed to really upset the girl sitting behind us…as every time the notion of a man sucking another man’s penis was presented, she exclaimed “EW!”).

After the movie, Danny and I lamented the fact that such a torturous script could be made with what was CLEARLY a very good budget. (They got the rights to a Hall and Oates song, for god’s sake! That shit ain’t cheap). We lamented loudly, assuming (or at least I was), that since the film was very clearly shot in New York, that the filmmakers would not attend a small Seattle film festival for its screening. Brugos pointed out our mistake in the form of two dudes lurking right behind us. Doh! Oh well. They had to know the truth. And the truth is that Danny and I are resentful assholes who are apparently fellating the wrong penises. (EW!)

Danny was heading to the Rendezvous with his cohorts, but, having only slept 14 hours the previous night; I decided I had better hit the sack.

NEXT WEEKEND: The Dompire Strikes Back!

June 6, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Been saved lately

THE WEEKEND

I realize I have been slacking on my weekend recaps of late. I’ve started a few but have been too distracted to finish them. My brain is fairly muddled these days. And when I’m actually bored by what I’m writing, I can only imagine how boring it would be for someone else to read, so I’ve just abandoned them. So I’m sorry if anyone has been looking forward to reading what I haven’t been writing.

I’m going to now attempt a really general weekend recap. Hopefully it won’t suck.

FRIDAY

I tagged along with B., Galloo and Alex to a work party at Howl At The Moon, a dueling piano bar in Pioneer Square. The notion of super cheap drinks was (and is almost always) too good to pass up, even when accompanied with extremely cheesy piano versions of rock songs. We had a good 45 minutes of quiet with our cheap drinks and free (mediocre) appetizers before the “show” started. The show is performed by who I can only guess are two struggling musical theatre actors trying to supplement their income. Yes, they know the words and piano arrangements of seemingly any song that someone would suggest. But that doesn’t make it right. Now, some of you might think that this is something I would enjoy. My love of cheesy and so-bad-it’s-good things is well known. But believe me, this intolerable. The guy had a predilection to changing lyrics for “comedic” (read: Vaudevillian) value. The girl looked and sounded exactly like that annoying lady from Ally McBeal (who, in my opinion, was the worst part about the show…and there were a LOT of bad parts about that show). They tried to get everyone to sing along and, worse, CLAP. Luckily, we left before they dug into the PROP BOXES they each had under their pianos. My god. I felt like I was in an old folk's home on a cruise ship. The lengths we will go to for cheap drinks…

4 drinks later, we set about finding something else to do. We eventually settled on Linda’s, managing to score the big window table. We ordered a round of the strongest vodka drinks ever, and were later joined by Meep. I didn’t find Linda’s as annoying as usual because, I imagine, it was still early, we were sitting, and the waitress wasn’t abusing us.

After our second round of flammable beverages, B. had the BRILLIANT idea to score a box of wine from QFC and then return to Meep’s apartment for drinking games. We all loved this plan. It was infallible.

At this point, everyone was pretty drunk. It seemed to take us ages to get to Meep’s, when, in fact, it was apparently only 9:00. The rest of the evening is somewhat of a blur, although I do recall Alex and Andrew exploding a mini keg in Meep’s kitchen, struggling through 2 rounds of Asshole, singing along to Pulp’s “Different Class”, Meep and I getting all sentimental (probably as a result of all the Brit Pop), and Alex singing a marathon song with improvised lyrics and recurring chorus about Meep forgetting the sun and the heartache. I think Borg may have shown up at some point as well.

SATURDAY

After a few hours of nursing a pretty awful hangover headache, I was able to venture out into the sun and get some eggy potatoey goodness with B.. I spent the afternoon indulging in Tru Calling and smoking with Meep. In the evening, I went to a marathon Italian feast at Salvatore with B. and 20 of his friends. It was an inexplicably pirate-themed birthday.

SUNDAY

Photo shoot! We shot 4 different scenes for promo posters for “Plight”. The day started at 8am. Sherwood was our first zombie victim. We shot a coffee scenario at a little shop called Faire on Olive and Melrose. The space used to be a second-hand book shop. Now it’s a very nice coffee shop/art gallery. Luckily (for us, anyway), it was also pretty empty when we were there, so we were able to shoot with no interruption from customers. The art on display was a really cool series of abstract cloud scenes. One of the paintings is actually on the cover of the Stranger this week.

The second location was a wall across from Bill’s that we tried to make look like it was next to a hot dog vendor.

The last two scenes were shot in Volunteer Park. One at a bus stop, and one on some stairs next to the reservoir.

It was a beautiful day. Arguably, the nicest day of the year so far. I’m really glad I got to spend it outside. Thanks to everyone who came out and made the whole thing run very smoothly.

Dom, Meep and I spent the evening looking at the pictures and choosing the best ones. I think we’ve got something good here. Stay tuned for some links to some promo posters. Hopefully, you’ll also be seeing them around town. Buzzzzz!

After work, the Troika ate some Nazi Thai (Dom went to pick it up for me and Meep, as we are BANNED), and we attempted to watch “Dead and Breakfast”. A good portion of it was viewed in fast forward. Note to self: find out who was responsible for the sound design of that film and avoid them.

After the movie, Meep took her leave. I actually nodded off around 10:30. I think I really needed the rest. So why am I STILL tired this morning?

April 24, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, I Made Movies . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

lose loose we ght

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

It was Ladies Night. Unfortunately, my lady friends and I aren’t particularly girly, so we were somewhat at a loss as to what to do with ourselves. Our travels took us to the Honey Hole (perfect name for a girl’s night kick-off bar), Barca (where we were waited on by a bitchy waitress), R Place (where we attempted to find some fun 80’s music to dance to, but were met only with obscure hip-hop) and finally, the Kincora, (where we realized we were far too drunk to be awake for much longer). It’s a shame too, because the DJ was spinning some very good music. Must remember to go back to the Kincora when less drunk and tired.

Faye also took some pretty cool high-concept pictures involving me and Elyse vomiting rope lights.

SATURDAY

I went to look at a bike that was advertised on Craig’s List. I need something to get me to and from yoga in a timely fashion. The price was right on this one. Also, it was apparently designed for shorties such as myself. Barring any major issues with the thing, I knew I was going to buy it. The other person who knew I was going to buy it was the hard-assed British lady who was selling it. Consequently, she didn’t budge one inch on the price. Furthermore, she made me give her all my cash AND all of Brugos’ cash, only allowing me to write her a check for the remainder. Damn, lady.

Brugos kindly drove me home with my new bike, and then went with me to purchase a helmet and lock. Another seasoned salesman sold me my helmet, which is pink and futuristic looking. I went with pink because there is NO WAY I’m going to look even remotely cool on a bike anyway, so I might as well spice up my life with some color.

He also sold me a wire combination lock. Elyse had previously warned me against buying a wire lock, but the sales dude, being the pro that he is, asked me a few questions about the bike and where I would be riding it, and determined that there was no way a thief was going to go after my Dodge Darty piece of crap, when they could have the Rolls Royce of bikes that is sitting right next to it. Being one who avoids confrontation at all costs and hates shopping anyway, I took his advice and bought whatever he shoved into my naïve little hands.

Brugos and I then met Faye, Borg, Dom and Ben at the Metro for a showing of “Slither”. I was a little disappointed that I didn’t run into my nemesis, Fan Boy. I hope he didn’t get sacked. He’ll never move out of his mom’s basement that way.

“Slither” was aight. Not awesome. Not terrible. Nathan Fillion helped.

After a quick stop at the Comic’s Dungeon, the gang left me and Brugos to tool around until the party at the House of Fun. Much DDR happened at the aptly named House. DDR skills, it turns out, are not improved by bong hits.

SUNDAY

Despite allowing themselves a 3-hour time window, the IKEA people delivered my new “bed” right at 11:15. Faye and I had planned to watch “The Island” while we waited for my delivery, so we carried on with the plan anyway. We regretted that we weren’t watching the movie during a plausible drinking time, since an “Island” drinking game soon revealed itself. If anybody out there hasn’t yet seen the movie (since I can’t imagine anyone wanting to watch it AGAIN), remember these rules:

-Drink every time ScarJo or EwMc ask a “What’s (something very common in normal human society)?” question.
-Drink every time anyone says the following: “Go!”, “Run!” “Look out!”

That should get you well on the way to Drunky Town.

After the movie, Faye helped me reorganize the apartment. Realising how much utter CRAP I have sent me down a deep shame spiral. It didn’t help matters that most of it was covered in a two-years thick layer of dust. I am gross.

Later, Faye made me dinner and we fast forwarded through “The Boogyman”. Unlike AvP, watching it in French didn’t help. It’s just a REALLY BORING movie. If you ask me, it takes a lot of misused talent to make a movie about people dying BORING.

I now live in a bedroom that, as Faye commented, resembles the studio apartment of a conspiracy theorist. My frameless mattress sits on a floor in the corner, like a little rats nest. I didn’t realize how many bookshelves I had until they all came out of the closets and lined the walls of my bedroom. If there are any mediaphiles out there who have advice on how to organize your books and CD’s in a way that doesn’t look manic, please share.

April 3, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

do sleep streamline

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

We gathered at the Canterbury for a celebration of Borg’s birthday. I drank one too many Greyhounds, but I got to chat to several people who I don’t see that often including krk and Rene. Fun stuff. They have a new door person at The Canterbury. He’s creepy.

SATURDAY

My day started with another birthday celebration. I went to Café Flora with Erin. I don’t recall ever having been there before, but Meep swears that she and I went with Erin a few years ago. I was probably just as hung over then as I was on Saturday morning. Ouch.

My sweet potato breakfast quesadilla hit the spot, however. We sat in the sun room and basked in the light, whilst serenaded by the fountain. Beautiful.

After breakfast, I had to rush back home so that Meep, Dom and I could meet Borg at the GadZook office for a marathon scheduling session. I think we got a lot accomplished. We discussed sets vs. location for a number of scenes. I think we will be able to re-use a lot of locations, so our production schedule isn’t as daunting as it appears.

When the meeting concluded, I set about gathering a posse for karaoke. I was largely unsuccessful. A lot of people were either too tired, or had other plans. But Brugos and Brad came through. We got to Kozak’s shortly after nine and confirmed that karaoke was indeed happening. The “stage” setup is a little weird; at the moment it’s just a plank set on top of a back booth. Dancing is at your own risk. But if this thing takes off, perhaps they will look into finding a more permanent performance area.

Anywho, as is typical at Kozak’s, there weren’t that many people there. Hopefully, this will change in the long run because I DO NOT want that place to close down. For now, however, it was advantageous. We got to sing 4 songs each throughout the night. The selection isn’t bad. It’s short on the indie stuff (but Brugos did get to sing a mean “Monkey Gone to Heaven). They do have an abundance of 80’s music, however. With the wireless mic, Brugos was also able to walk it back to our booth so that we could all join in on “Piano Man”. Brad sang a fun “Down Under”, and I tried my hand at Bobby Brown’s “Don’t Be Cruel”. The DJ is a little bit crazy. He kept trying to get us to commit to coming to his Tuesday “Monkey Spunk” nights. But overall, the night was a blast and I definitely want to go back.

At the next table over, there was a motley crew of friends, one of whom was definitely Brugos Style. Brugos defines his “type” of woman using the “doggy door” test. If a girl could get her entire torso through a doggy door, but then would get stuck, she qualifies as “Brugos Style”. This girl was absolutely Doggy Door material. Unfortunately, she spent most of the evening sucking face with a guy sporting dubious facial hair. (The old pencil-thin beard line). The only man in modern times who can get away with thin-lined facial hair is John Waters, and he was not this girl’s date. Doggy Doors credibility was further compromised when she sang some god-awful modern country song. However, her best assets were captured deftly on digital film by Brugos. I now have the perfect birthday gift in mind for Brugos: a poster-sized, laminate of Doggy Door’s badunk. Preview photo forthcoming.

We closed the place out, and Monkey Spunk allowed me to serenade the bartenders with “Come Sail Away” as they cleaned up.

SUNDAY

I had a busy day ahead of me. I woke up early and worked on Photoshopping a background for Doggy Door. Then I walked to a yoga class at the Mind and Body, where Kayobi and I have been going. I hadn’t yet been taught by this particular teacher, and, despite having gotten a good physical workout, I will not take a class from him again. He seemed a bit unstable, mentally, and he spent a lot of time “lecturing” and making negative comments. Yoga is supposed to be positive and relaxing so perhaps it’s not helpful to the students to hear about your excruciating knee surgery in detail. Furthermore, he took it upon himself to pay a lot of attention to my form in particular. I know that I need to work on my circular breathing, but this guy clearly thought he was doing me a favor my being hard on me in front of everyone. Tough love is great in moderation, but for a student who, for all he knew, had never done Hatha before, he was definitely rubbing me the wrong way. I’m going to stick with the Monday-Wednesday-Saturday classes at this place and stay clear of Mr. NegativePants.

After class, I walked to Safeway to buy ingredients for the Oscar party. I had a lot of fun picking out the fancy ingredients. I don’t usually buy stuff like goat cheese, sea salt and sun-dried tomatoes.

Once home and showered, I immediately set about cooking. I had a lot of work to do. Luckily, Meep came over and helped me out. I never would have finished in time without her. Thanks, Meep!

As some people were still observing the dress-to-the-nines approach, Dom put on his suit. He looks great in black and white.

Meep and I wore pretty much the same outfits we sported at the Goth party. That was entirely a co-incidence. I just got lazy and didn’t have any clean clothes. Borg looked great also. He and Meep both wore sweater-vests and he’d combed his hair to the side.

Ben and Emolee arrived, also dressed up. Poor Emolee’s sparkly skirt seemed to attract the attention of Tobe, who refused to stop using it as a toy.

Brian, Brad and Brugos were also in attendance. We set a few drinking game rules (drink every time you see Jack Nicholson, every time you see someone associated with Brokeback Mountain, and every time someone thanks their agent or the Lord). We also filled out our official ABC Oscar ballots to predict the winners. I didn’t too horribly, but, with only 7 predicted correctly, I was far from winning. In the end, Brugos won with a total of 14 correctly guessed. His impromptu prize was a paint-by-numbers of a clown that I did a few weeks ago, and one of the freebies that Dom got in Park City. The loser, at only 3 correct guesses, was Brad. At Ben’s suggestion, the Booby Prize was a kiss from me. Heh. Booby.

We were all shocked that Brokeback didn’t win Best Picture. Now that I think about it, it’s pretty disappointing. We had thought it was the Year of the Gay. But it turns out that people are still too afraid to give awards to that kind of film. Michelle Williams definitely should have won. I haven’t seen Crash, but after hearing the song and seeing the clips from the movie, it looks like some pretty heavy-handed pandering and I am in no hurry to sit through that. Maybe Brokeback is heavy-handed too (course, I haven’t seen that either), but even if it IS, it’s the kind of heavy-handed that we NEED right now. At the risk of soapboxing, gay rights are under a great deal of peril right now. I though that a film about gay cowboys would help assuage such things. But clearly it’s still all lip-service at the moment. As usual, fuck you, Academy.

I was also baffled by Charlize Theron’s dress. One can only hope that she was only uglying herself up for a movie role. A movie about a middle-schooler in 1991? Also, WHERE IS STEWIE? This is the second award-show she’s been to without him. I really hope they haven’t broken up because that guy really needs to Phillipe to her Witherspoon.

There were some great moments though. Ben Stiller and Tom Hanks returned to their brilliant comic form, and the smear-campaign ads for the nominees were hilarious. The Daily Show should be in charge of the Oscars every year.

After the awards, we popped in my favorite Oscar-nominated film, Back to the Future. Sherwood arrived just in time for that. Guess the Oscars aren’t his forte, even when bribed with free food. Ben, Brian, Emolee, Brugos and Brad took their leave before we went Back in Tyme. Shortly after that, I was sleeping soundly in a champagne and carb-induced coma.

NEXT TWO WEEKENDS: I will be heading to Austin for SXSW. Numerous adventure stories to follow, I’m sure.

March 6, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

contraband sabbatical

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

Faye and I needed a break from partying. And besides, a half-Cylon baby was being born on BSG, so we decided to have dinner at Kozak’s followed by a night in. A word to the wise about Kozak’s. I know everything on the menu looks really delicious and that might make you think you should order several different items. You shouldn’t. Each entrée and appetizer is enough food for 2-3 people in and of itself. Just make up your mind to come back many times to try everything on the menu and you’ll be better off.

Since Faye made me watch the “House of Wax” remake (which was a remake in name only) on Thursday, I made her watch “Cursed”. “Cursed” was worse than “House of Wax”. (By the way, Mark, we also watched “Dead Serious” on Thursday.). There were two pretty funny parts in “H o W”. There was nothing funny in “Cursed” except, perhaps, Michael Rosenbaum’s hair.

We finished “Cursed” in time for BSG to start. As Borgia is a relative newcomer to the BSG universe, he had many many questions. You don’t realize how much they DON’T dumb down the script for the audience (as they do on, say, Lost) until you watch it with a virgin. I chose a bottle of wine that, based on the packaging, led me to believe that Cylons might drink it. I know, I’m a dork. It was pretty good wine though, for $8.

I was a little disappointed that the Cylon baby looked totally human (unlike the hybrid baby on V). But maybe it will display some weird characteristics later. Like, maybe when it’s nursing, its spine will glow red. Or maybe it will accidentally hurt some other kid on the playground because it doesn’t know its own strength. Of course, since everything on BSG moves slowly, we won’t get to see this kid grow up. I don’t think the kid will grow up Species fast because it seemed like the gestation period was pretty normal. I’m sure all my speculations are fascinating.

SATURDAY

Having gone to bed pretty early the night before, I woke up bushytailed at 9am. Dom and I set about doing a bit of much needed tidying. Then I met Faye at the bus stop so that we could catch a matinee of “Nightwatch” with Andrew at the Neptune.

Andrew was running late and we were running early so we went into Zanadu to kill time, vowing not to buy ANYTHING. Miraculously, we succeeded in leaving empty handed. It wasn’t easy to say no to the Punisher Valentine’s Day issue. Did I mention I have a crush on the Punisher? I don’t know what it is about the hulking, half-crazy chap with a dubious set of morals, but when he’s written by Garth Ennis, he makes me all tingly. Not so much with the Tom Jayne though.

Anywho, Faye bought $20 worth of snacks for everybody and we settled in to watch “Nightwatch”. There was a Russian couple behind us who was very excited about seeing a Russian movie with English subtitles. I don’t blame them. I think there may have been much lost in the translation, because they laughed heartily at a few moments that came off as only mildly amusing to us Americans. They also laughed at the first appearance of the lead, one Konstantin Khabensky. I assume there is some stigma associated with this actor that made his lead role in a Russian Matrix-style trilogy hilarious. Kinda like Keanu is for us? All I know is that I found the guy kinda hot. I realized later that it’s because he reminded me a bit of Steve Coogan. The movie itself wasn’t that great, but I enjoyed it. Andrew really liked it and Faye hated it. We were like the three bears. I agree with Faye’s complaints about it, but they didn’t bother me as much as they bothered her. We were both extremely annoyed by the liberties they took with the subtitles though. Words turned red, were bolded for emphasis, or disappeared behind furniture. It was very distracting and heavy-handed. I’m not terribly motivated to seek out the other two. But I didn’t feel like it was a waste of time or anything.

After the movie, we planned to eat dinner at Araya, but it was still early. Instead, we wandered down to Bulldog news. It only killed a half an hour. So we decided to go into Flowers and do a round or two of shots. Faye and I started with chocolate cake shots, and Andrew, ever the manly man, got straight tequila. For our second round, Faye and I switched to angel food cake shots (which taste pretty similar to chocolate cake shots, but are lighter in color), and Andrew got another tequila. With a pretty good buzz blaring, we walked to Araya which still doesn’t have a liquor license. Last we heard they were applying for it. The waitress made it sound like a big drama transpired and now it was all hopeless. I knew this was bad news because once you start a buzz, it’s not a good idea to stop drinking, lest the sleepiness overtake you.

As per usual in all vegetarian restaurants, Faye and I freaked out a little bit. We’re not used to having EVERYTHING ON THE MENU at our disposal. We settled on 3 entrées and an appetizer to split. Everything was extremely delicious.

We then rushed to a new bar to salvage some of the buzz. Faye was supposed to meet Borg at Big Time, but I convinced everyone to hit Fin McCool’s first because I wasn’t ready to switch to beer. Continuing the evening’s tradition of drinking sorority girl drinks, Faye and I ordered chocolate martinis. I really liked mine, but it was impossible to drink fast. Andrew switched to coffee because he was driving.

Andrew took his leave of us, and Faye and I headed to Big Time. It was too late, however. We had messed up the process and were both tired. Borgia drove us home and I finished out my evening watching Aeon Flux (the cartoon, not the movie), and helping Dom put together a production book.

SUNDAY

Faye, Dom and I interviewed our new set designer for the movie. Then we watched Dom film a bunch of webisodes for his “production diary”. It’s kind of a cheesy motif. Dom is a “mogulsexual” telling people how to dress like a producer, by wearing functional stuff like hoodies and beards. Faye and I were forced to participate in two of the skits.

Then Faye and I headed back to the hill, leaving Dom to his giant pile of work. I stopped briefly at Faye’s to see if her neighbor was out, allowing us to DDR. No such luck. Instead, I went home and made biscuits and gravy, paid some bills, did some mending, and watched some episodes of “American Gothic”. A mellow end to a very mellow weekend. Oh well. It’s good to have those every once in a while. The weird thing is that I’m still just as exhausted today as I am every Monday.

February 27, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary, Filmpinions, Hug Your Television, I Made Movies . Tags: weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

Or wait mortician

WEEKEND RECAP

FRIDAY

Dom and I met Brugos at the Wild Rose early so that we could secure a table for karaoke. We ordered dinner and, after a while, started to become suspicious about the lack of set-up for the night’s events. Eventually, one of us got the bright idea to actually ASK if karaoke was happening (in accordance with their online schedule). It wasn’t. Wade and Elyse arrived in time for us to deliver the bad news, but we still needed to wait for their friend Alief (sp?) from “the lab” so show up. This gave us time to decide where we would go to satiate our karaoke hunger. We bandied between two choices: China Gate and Bush Garden. But since it was late, and our waitress suggested it, we chose China Gate because we were more likely to get a table and plenty of singing time. Alief arrived, and we all piled into Brugos’ Mustang (which feels a LOT smaller when you’re crammed on top of your boyfriend in the front seat, as I was). But we made it to China Gate without incident.

We had our pick of tables in the bar. After confirming that there was, in fact, karaoke that night, we set about ordering. Alief hadn’t eaten so she got a combo meal for the rest of us to munch on. It was all meaty but it looked pretty good.

We got our mitts on the karaoke books and confirmed what Brugos had told us about the selection being rather weak. Still, there were a few songs for each of us to pick, and since the place was empty, we didn’t have to worry about embarrassing ourselves.

Eventually, other people did show up. A group of girls sat in front of us and a fratty fellowship sat across from us. No matter. We still got to sing as many songs as we desired. Alief and Wade broke their karaoke cherries. Alief sang “You Can Find Me In The Club” (or whatever that song is called) in her adorable Turkish accent, and then she and Wade shared duties on “La Bamba” and “You Spin Me Round (Like a Record). Brugos and Elyse sang several terrific duets and Dom sang “Live and Let Die”. I did “One More Try” by George Michael and “November Rain” (the shortened version…again. I’ve only had the pleasure to sing the long version once). Later, I squeezed in a little Belinda Carlisle. I took a few good pictures, which I will upload later, but my battery died early on, so I didn’t get a picture of the fantastic triple threat of Dom, Wade and Brugos singing “500 Miles”.

I drank a bit more than I’d planned too, but I spaced it out enough so that my magical 3-glasses-of-water hangover prevention worked just dandy.

SATURDAY

I spent the morning resting and pampering myself for the epic evening ahead. I did a few last minute preparations, gathered my decorations and makeup, and headed to Fremont in my new dress to meet Gene and Brugos at American Music. We picked up the MASSIVE stereo system that we’d rented for Gene’s DJing duties and somehow got the whole thing in Brugos’ Mustang. Unfortunately, we had to sacrifice one passenger in the process. Gene was chivalrous enough to volunteer, and he set off to get a bus to Brugos’ house. Meanwhile, Brugos and I drove the gear to his house, unloaded it, gained a Brad, and went to Trader Joe’s for some last minute shopping. I bought some bread and cheese and Brugos bough a case of Two Buck Chuck. Next, we met Gene at the Wayward Café for dinner. I had never been there before, but was very excited about the prospect of a menu that not only contained ALL VEGAN food items (meaning I had free run of the place) but that also received rave reviews from 3 rabid meat eaters. I ordered the Brit Breakfast, which consisted of veggie sausage, beans and an English muffin. Simple yet delicious. I also stole a bite of Gene’s Portobello Mushroom Biscuits and Gravy which were incredible. I definitely must go back there.

Around 7:30, we headed back to Brugos’ to begin decorating, and setting up the DJ equipment. We had a few technical difficulties to start. We didn’t have the right headphone adaptor and the antiquated equipment wouldn’t properly recognize Gene’s burned CDs. However, where old technology fails to adapt to change, new technology thankfully makes concessions for the elderly. Brad was able to hook his lap top up to the stereo and Gene could play his CDs, and run i-tunes through the speakers. Problem solved.

Meanwhile, Brugos whipped up a few batches of Sangria and I lit candles, blew up black balloons, and artfully placed the black paper roses I’d spend the last week making. We were ready!

People began to arrive and everyone looked great. I was really impressed with how accurate and painstaking peoples’ outfits were. There was a lot of attention to detail. I began to chug the way-too-delicious Sangria, forgetting how much rum was actually IN the recipe.

A man who wasn’t in costume, and whom I’d never seen before approached me. He asked me if I was Jessica. I said I was. He said that he was from the Stranger’s Party Crashers and he thanked me for inviting him. I didn’t tell him that I HADN’T invited him and that I was surprised to see him there. (Especially considering how many fundraisers and film screenings we have personally invited the Stranger too in the past that they’ve utterly ignored.) He told me that he loved the idea and he asked me some questions about its conception. I explained to him that Elyse had come up with it, but that she didn’t feel she had the proper Goth background to pull it off, so she called in the experts and that our friend with the biggest house volunteered to let us hold it there. He took a few pictures of me and Faye (one, right in front of our “Dark Deadness” poster from “Snow Day”!) and thanked us again. He spent the evening writing notes furiously in a pad and talking to random people. He seemed pretty cool but since everyone else had dressed up, he looked quite out of place. He became the pet project of the party, as people “gothed him up” throughout the evening. It was cute, and I suppose there is a good chance we might actually get written up this week. Look out for that.

Meanwhile, Gene spun the tunes, and oh how people danced. It was a lot of fun. I only wish the Sangria hadn’t been so deceptively delicious. I tried to dance a bit, but realized I was too drunk to attempt agile movements. So I sat on the couch, causing Gene to reprimand me for my lack of dancing. I felt bad, and vowed to boogie when I felt better. I started drinking water but it was too late. The nausea took hold and I had to leave. It was late enough so that no one noticed, and talking to Brugos the next day, it turns out the party didn’t last much longer anyway. I wish I could have cut more wood floor though.

The Party Crasher dude was still there when we left. He seemed to be enjoying himself immensely. All in all, I’d say the party was quite the success. Thanks to Brugos for returning that behemoth of a stereo by himself.

Pictures!
And more Pictures!

SUNDAY

Whenever I feel nauseous from drinking, I need to sleep on the couch. So there I slept, much to the chagrin of my back. I was only able to transport myself to my bed around 7am. I knew I needed to sleep as long as possible, so I didn’t get up till about 11.

Once I got up and had a nice greasy plate of hashbrowns, I felt well enough to DO something with my day. But what? I called Faye and she had no ideas. Eventually, she came up with a (perhaps ill-conceived) trip to Half-Price Books and the drug store. But first: DDR at her house! I hope her downstairs neighbor is gone every Sunday because I’m really enjoying my high-impact aerobic Sundays.

I got lucky because Faye got to the Graphic Novels section before me so she saved me from spending money on all the good stuff. I instead bought a few single issues from the bin that looked interesting, bringing my splurge total in under $20. Thanks, Faye.

After that, we decided to return to my house to pick a movie to watch, and to order Thai food. We ordered from Samui on 15th, which had VERY delicious food. Unfortunately, the guy that owns the place is a total prick, so I don’t think I can ever order delivery from them again. Faye heard me give him my address, apartment number and phone number correctly. He said it would be there in 35 minutes. An hour and a half later, we still had no food, so we decided to call and check on it. The guy sounded really pissed off. “I went to your apartment” he said. “I buzzed apartment 302 and no one answered. Then I tried calling your number and it was a wrong number”. I said that my apartment number was 203 and that is what I had given him. He told me that I had definitely told him 302. He read me back my phone number and he had inverted two numbers. I gave him my correct number. I should have had him read those numbers back to me because he had read my credit card number back to me and had inverted two of those numbers as well. He said he could bring me the food again, but that “I’m really busy now and so I won’t be able to come for a while. You will just have to be patient”. After hanging up, I told Faye what had happened, and she pointed out the fact that I had also given the man my first and last name which are printed on the buzzer RIGHT NEXT to my apartment number. I don’t know why he didn’t want to bring us our food (we’d ordered well over the minimum order amount, they OFFER delivery, and we only live two blocks away). 40 minutes later, he showed up with our reheated food. I didn’t give him a tip. I knew this would seal my fate with the guy and I could never order from them again, but damnit, I was not going to let him be a prick to me for the numerous mistakes that he made. As we ate the food, I began to regret the lack of tip a little bit. Even reheated, it was REALLY FUCKING DELICIOUS. So if anyone wants to order Thai food delivery in Capital Hill, can I come over?

While we waited for our food, we watched Wedding Crashers which was so bad in so many ways. Bad horror movies are usually awesome. Bad dramas can be awesome. Bad TEEN comedies can also be awesome. But bad adult comedies are pretty much just not funny and therefore not at all enjoyable. Bummer. My boss had lent me the DVD because he thought it was hilarious. I’m pretty sure he finds it hilarious because the Vince Vaughn character talks JUST LIKE my boss. He told me that if I liked ZoolanderI would like Wedding Crashers. I have no idea where he got that comparison, besides the presence of Owen Wilson. Oh, Owen…you used to be so talented. But I feel some hacks coming on.

February 21, 2006
Categories: Dear Diary . Tags: holidays, karaoke, weekend recap . Author: Baxter . Comments: Leave a comment

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