it lives within's new samples.

I am supposed to be working on this stupid crap called cost basis. I won't bore you with a description of what that entails. I'll just say that it's math and it makes my head hurt. Since I have to ask The Lil'est Dictator for help with it, I'm putting it off till after lunch and updating my LJ now. Fuck you, cost basis.

Last night, Faye and I enjoyed a very special episode of the O.C. and an even MORE special bottle and a half of wine. I love Thursday nights.

**SPOILERS HEREIN***
Special guest star George Lucas's goiter was looking particularly lively as he delivered his lines like a robot. Chris Martin annoyed the crap out of us with him sad bastardly warbling as Marissa and Ryan danced in the moonlight, suspicion-free. Summer achieved her episode-long dream of becoming prom queen with her prom jester by her side as the funniest extras in television delivered their unappreciated “ad libs”. Shaun of the Dead officially became mainstream enough to be mentioned on a ridiculously popular hour-long drama. Sadly, there was no mention of another little movie that it supposedly inspired. Caleb's heart melted for the love of a mermaid and then stopped working seconds later, and the episode ended in a surprisingly moving way with Kirstin fucking off to be alone with her bottle of “pure” vodka.
***End Spoilers***

Well, after that, there was naught to do but write a screenplay for an “inspirational” short film called “Retard to Retard” wherein Faye plays not one but TWO “developmentally disabled” persons being brave and heartwarming in a world that was not made for them. We hope to shoot it soon. But first, Faye must prepare for her most traumatic role to date. Look for Faye on Inside the Actor's studio in the coming months, scratching her butt with her Oscar.

God, I miss Tru Calling.

harebrained Dical

I would like to snap this woman over my knee like a twig. After I punch her in her pouty, evil mouth.

Of course I'm just talking about her CHARACTER on Lost. I know the difference between TV and real life. Really, I do.

J.J. Abrahms is a hack.

Last night “Lost” was supposed to be an “all new episode”. But if you tuned in, you know it was actually just a clip show. A fucking CLIP SHOW. I call bullshit on that.

Like an afterburner for your penis.

Is it just me, or is The O.C. getting really weird?

Last night’s episode featured Caleb about to dump his wife for something that most husbands would be excited about but then changing her mind (because he’s plotting something more evil??) , Kirstin being tempted by a guy who is only hot in that early 90’s kind of way, and Zach hinting at being evil himself. And speaking of evil, what was WITH that comic industry party? First of all, there is NO WAY that a publisher who was initially interested in Atomic County would start making all those demands to Disneyfy it. The comic world isn’t governed by the same “standards and practices” that television and film are. Comics push the envelope and are edgy and typically very violent. They also have a built-in demographic so who CARES what the mid-western kids can “relate” to. They don’t read comics to relate. They read them to forget about their own boring, sex-less lives for a while. The O.C. needs a comic consultant to make this storyline more realistic.
And the SECOND weird thing about that industry party was all those industry dudes standing around drinking wine and laughing maniacally. Was that supposed to be as comic-y as it was? Is this some clever subversive way of making The O.C. more artistic? Or are they just losing their minds over there?

As for Tru Calling, hilarity ensued yet again. Highlights include when Tru spoke of her titular “calling”, when porno music played during YET ANOTHER of her bizarrely flirtatious conversations with her brother and when she once again fell “in love” with a guy she knew for two episodes who died. And what’s the deal with all these love interests being “90’s hot”? Is that look coming back or something? This particular stud is reminiscent of Is it just me, or is The O.C. getting really weird?

Last night’s episode featured Caleb about to dump his wife for something that most husbands would be excited about but then changing her mind (because he’s plotting something more evil??) , Kirstin being tempted by a guy who is only hot in that early 90’s kind of way, and Zach hinting at being evil himself. And speaking of evil, what was WITH that comic industry party? First of all, there is NO WAY that a publisher who was initially interested in Atomic County would start making all those demands to Disneyfy it. The comic world isn’t governed by the same “standards and practices” that television and film are. Comics push the envelope and are edgy and typically very violent. They also have a built-in demographic so who CARES what the mid-western kids can “relate” to. They don’t read comics to relate. They read them to forget about their own boring, sex-less lives for a while. The O.C. needs a comic consultant to make this storyline more realistic.
And the SECOND weird thing about that industry party was all those industry dudes standing around drinking wine and laughing maniacally. Was that supposed to be as comic-y as it was? Is this some clever subversive way of making The O.C. more artistic? Or are they just losing their minds over there?

As for Tru Calling, hilarity ensued yet again. Highlights include when Tru spoke of her titular “calling”, when porno music played during YET ANOTHER of her bizarrely flirtatious conversations with her brother and when she once again fell “in love” with a guy she knew for two episodes who died. And what’s the deal with all these love interests being “90’s hot”? Is that look coming back or something? This particular stud is reminiscent of a certain former MTV VJ or the star of this horrific and short lived MTV sci-fi series. Gross.
Also, was the ending where they showed the consequences of Tru “breaking the rules” supposed to be shocking?! “I have de ja vous”. OOOH! The horror! Better not keep breaking the rules, Tru. We don’t want a bunch of people running around getting De Ja Vous. Imagine that chaos that would cause!
God, I love this show!

World’s oldest mum' defends her decision

Is it sad that all week I have been looking forward to mine and Faye's new tradition of “Trashy TV Thursday” wherein we get stoney baloney and watch The O.C. and Tru Calling? I hope not because it is one of my few relaxing joys in life right now. (Most of my other joys being highly stressful. Especially filmmaking. Who's crackpot idea was it for me to become a filmmaker? Oh yeah…mine. Doh!)

Anyway, we all know about The O.C. But for the TRUly uninitiated (gack), Tru Calling is one of the most poorly written, poorly acted and horrifically produced hour-long dramas ever to have made it to a second season. I know it's on Fox but jesus CHRIST it's bad. Laughably so. And it probably won't be making it to a 3rd season. So here is a short list of reasons why you should be watching now (preferably under the influence of some substance or another).

1) Zach Galifianakis. He is one of the funniest “alternative” comedians out there. But his IMDB resume does not reflect that at all. If you've seen his stand-up or Comedy Central special, you become one of the initiated few who can actually smell the bitterness, embarrassment and resentment coming off of him through the cathode tube and into your nostrils. Hilarious!
2) Eliza Dushku's “acting”. For those of you who only saw Dushku's acting on Buffy/Angel, you might thing she's not that bad. You are wrong. She is horrible. She's constantly making these weird faces when she's trying to look “concerned” or “scared” or “serious” and she smiles one of the most disingenuous smiles I have ever seen. But her character is supposed to be PROtagonist. She also has a tendency to look like she's flirting with people whom she really shouldn't be (and probably isn't) flirting with. People like the girl who she was supposed to save last week and her brother. And when she IS supposed to have chemistry with another character, it's SO awkward. Hilarious again!
3) Jason Priestly! Yes, THE Jason Priestly!! The Canadian wonder who captured our hearts on 90210 and has been doing indie films since then. Well, they obviously aren't paying the billz anymore. So now he's EVIL! And it's awesome. Best of all, you can sometimes actually SEE the chord that's attached to the phone with which he is phoning in his performance. Unimaginably funny.

So PLEASE watch Tru Calling before it's too late. Because it's really not worth the price of a rental. But it's definitely worth having on while you kill a few brain cells.

66131

This review bothers me. It’s a review of the new SCTV and Kids in the Hall DVD’s by Sean Nelson. I don’t know why I’m surprised that someone from The Stranger doesn’t like something. I guess it’s because that particular author has expressed a love for Mr. Show in the past. So I only assumed that he would appreciate the genius of the Kids in The Hall as well. I can’t speak for SCTV. I honestly never saw more than clips of that show (on clips shows about comedy). But I CAN defend my favorite 5 comedians from Canada. I realize that Mr. Show is the greatest (and most timeless) social and political commentary that America has in the way of comedy. But sometimes you need a little light-hearted abstraction in your sketch shows. The Kids in the Hall are that for me. And occasionally they WERE kind of dark. (Especially anything that Bruce McCulloch did). So maybe the Chicken Lady got a little old by the third sketch. But you can’t deny Dave Foley’s performance in the first one (particularly his delivery of the line “A beer” in response to the question “Can I get you a beer or would you rather just drink out of the toilet?”). You can’t deny the genius of “sarcastic guy” or the fun of “Daves I know”. Bruce’s troubled teenager character is hilarious and accurate (at least for any girl who was friends with a burnout guy in high school). And what about the Nutty Bunnies? Or Police Department? Or ANY of Bruce McCulloch’s monologues ( “That’s America” especially). Sure, you can mention all the most popular sketches and dismiss them as being played out or unimaginative. But that’s the nature of ANYTHING that can be called “the most popular”. It’s the lesser known gems that I love. Maybe it’s because I never stopped watching Kids in the Hall. I watched the reruns on Comedy Central and then I watched my tapes of those reruns. Seeing the guys live at the Paramount a few years ago was a highlight of my show-going career. I laughed heartily at material both old and new. Maybe they didn't have the biting, unforgiving humor of Mr. Show. But they certainly had a charm all their own. Maybe the work they’ve done since has been embarrassingly awful (with the exception of Bruce McCulloch’s brilliant first album) but there was a time when they were a refreshing voice in alternative comedy. And I’m glad I’m not too much of a bitter old hipster to appreciate that.

aborigine kirov allegoric

I just finished watching season 1 of Carnivale on DVD last night. I want more!! (Even though the “behind the scenes documentary was L.A.M.E.)

Here's a question: Why is the DVD $60 if there's only 10 episodes and, like, ONE special feature? And why are these 10 episodes on 6 DVD's? These people need to talk to Joss Whedon's people about how to package a TV series DVD. I really want to watch the series again but I have to return it to the library and I can't afford a $60 DVD!

finicky headquarter

WEEKEND RECAP

Friday
Faye had her long-awaited housewarming party. And warm we did. We managed to pack a good 15 people in there and we drank and spoke of porn and ate bread with cheese. I felt like an adult, I did. This part should probably be longer but frankly, I drank a lot of champagne that night and all I remember is that I had a good time. And that “Heat of the Moment” is one of the BEST songs to listen to when you’re drunk.

Saturday
Faye and I finally took our director photos for the press packs that we will send out along with our festival submissions for Snow Day. We have been pouring over this item on our to-do list for a long time because every picture we have of ourselves is either too silly (taken when drinking or hanging out) or just not very good pictures (if taken when we actually ARE directing). So we staged some artsy fartsy pictures of us at Volunteer park. Two rolls of film’s worth. We took pictures of us smiling and not smiling. Looking at the camera and looking off into the distance. Sitting on stares and standing in interesting doorways. Hopefully there will be SOMETHING cool in there because damnit if this isn’t one of those needlessly complicated situations! We need pictures that are both professional and original. Pictures that both represent who we are and don’t freak people out…We’ll see what we get I guess. After we took about a roll and a half of us being directory, we needed to finish the roll. So there are the inevitable pictures of me pretending that I’m a hobo and that various things found around the park were my penis. Um…how old are we?
Later, we had a brief writer’s meeting and then met people at Jai Thai for dinner and to check out the new Saturday karaoke situation. We were joined by various people coming and going throughout the night but most people got to witness the splendor that was Anne, the man with breasts who was either a pre-op tranny who didn’t bother with makeup or a man who was trying out drag for the night but didn’t really understand the concept. Either way, he/she was very nice and high-fived everybody as they left the stage. She/he also played an inflatable guitar and danced for most of the evening. We were also served by an extremely drunk waiter who kept sitting down with us when he took our order and then would engage in conversation with us and forget what he was doing. To expedite the process, we started ordering more than one drink at a time. The karaoke selection itself, being from the same DJ who works at the Wild Rose, was INCREDIBLE! Butt rock, classic rock, alternative and show tunes. Anything and everything a chap can unload and sing is in that book. Furthermore, there weren’t THAT many people in the bar at any given time so we each got to sing an average of three songs! Some might find the eclectic company to be off-putting. Being a veteran of El Toro in Tacoma, I found it comforting. Needless to say, I will definitely be a repeat visitor to Jai Thai karaoke! Song highlights include Faye singing “The Heat of the Moment” (the unofficial theme song for last weekend), Anne singing (period), and a personal highlight of mine is getting to sing “Skid Row” from Little Shop of Horrors with Chris and Dom.

Sunday
I spent the morning watching Carnivắle, which is a show that I am quickly becoming obsessed with. Like I NEED another one of those. Then I did some home-yoga and got ready to go see Sin City.
I went in with low expectations based on, well, ALL of Robert Rodriguez’s other films. While they are typically entertaining and ultraviolent (good) they are also typically full of laughable dialogue and uninspired music. Well, Sin City is the cream of the crop in terms of ultraviolence. I was giddy with amputations and throat slitting and paintball-esque blood flying everywhere. I was also giddy with a new crush on Clive Owen who is the slickest thing in grease and leather that I have seen in a long time. The dialogue was cheesy but it was perfect for the nouveau-noir cinematography. What a fun film! Even with the presence of Brittney Murphy and Jessica Alba and with some of the most irritating line readings ever from Alexis Bledel, it was still fun! After it was over, we stayed in the theatre and counted how many times Robert Rodriguez’s name appeared in the credits. The answer is 7. Hello, Narcissus? My name is Robert Rodriguez. I will give you a run for your money. Also, you killed my father. Actually, we think he may have thrown some aliases in there as well. Regardless, I had a blast. Also, the Cinerama is responsible in no small part for the fun we had. Any movie is automatically enhanced by that big beautiful screen and those cushy seats. Even Garden State.

I kinda wanna go see Sin City again…

We do what others can't.

Dear Jesus,

I want to thank you. Because of you, I got a day off work. Because of you, I got to work on festival submission stuff and watch back to back reruns of Dawson's Creek on my jammies. Jesus, because you made the ultimate sacrifice, I was able to do these things. You may get a bad wrap, but I think you're pretty rad. Just please stay out of public schools and the government or I will have to put the smack down.

Love,
Baxter

Which O.C. Character Am I?

This is one of those quizzes where all the results are slightly insulting, isn’t it?

You scored as Anna. No one understands you. Your life revolves around being different and probably excessive romantic allusions. Stop being so self absorbed and put greater emphasis on examining the sensibility of your behavior to avoid simply becoming an abstract narcissist.

Anna
89%
Seth
72%
Jimmy
67%
Marissa
56%
Luke
56%
Summer
50%
Hailey
45%
Caleb
45%
Kirsten
45%
Sandy
44%
Oliver
39%
Julie
39%
Ryan
22%

What OC character are you?
created with QuizFarm.com