I know he’s a cartoon character and he’s voiced by a short, bald man. But Archer is a babe. He looks especially fetching in the episode, “Heart of Archness: Part 1″ when Rip Riley (Patrick Warburton, naturally) finds him playing “Cocktail” in some tropical paradise after his would-be Russian bride was murdered. (I know it [...]
Hotter with a Beard: Colin Firth Edition
Oh, Colin. How many god awful rom-coms (and rom-drams) have I sat through for you? Even if the script is tripe, you play it as buttery as a fresh scone with a hint of self-deprecation. When you get a meaty role, you act the shit out of it. That’s a good beard.
Hotter with a Beard: Jake Gylenhaal Edition
Jake Gylenhaal doesn’t really need to get any hotter. And yet he does. With a beard. Those little lines around his eyes aren’t hurting things either. The hair needs work though. One’s beard should never be longer than one’s hair. That’s a cardinal rule of Beard.
Hotter With a Beard: Axl Rose Edition
Even in his heyday, I never really got the Axl-Rose-as-a-sex-symbol thing. He was too skinny, and biker shorts have never really been a turn on for me. And then during his “come back” things seemed to get worse. No man’s face should ever meet a botox needle and no white man should ever don cornrows. [...]
Notter with a Beard: Adrien Brody Edition
Aw hell nah. Though this post should really have its own category because what Mr. Brody has there is not, technically, a beard, but some horrible abomination of facial hair. I generally adore Brody’s sweet face and sensuous nose, but this shit makes him look like a serial date-rapist at a sorority party. It’s made [...]
Hotter with a Beard: Keanu Reeves Edition
I know I was a naysayer at first, but I guess his neck beard just had to flourish into this amazing gem of a hairdo. Full-bearded Keanu is my Oregon Country Fair wet dream. Keep up the good work, Keanu beard!
Hotter with a Beard: SXSW Edition
Thanks to beard prevalence, SXSW 09 was much sexier than in past years. 2009 is definitely the Year of the Beard. Not a full beard, but it has potential. And a rock star to boot! Beard vs. beard. And a snazzy dresser! Hands off, ladies. This one’s all mine.
Hotter with a Beard: Joshua Jackson Edition
He was clean shaven on Dawson’s Creek but on Fringe he is all scruff and girl, it works. Joshua Jackson is a somewhat inexplicable longtime crush of mine. He’s not a terrific actor but he’s pretty good with the sarcastic quips and that’s how everyone spoke on Dawson’s Creek. He and Michelle Williams were the [...]
Hotter with a Beard: Ryan Gosling Edition
I never really got the Ryan Gosling “thing”. I tried to watch The Notebook and couldn’t finish it. It was just SO melodramatic. And both main characters seemed half retarded. It was like watching a remake of The Other Sister. But he sure looks cute with a beard. And he seems like kind of a [...]
Hotter with a Beard: Corrections and Retractions
Oh noes! It was bad enough that Joaquin Phoenix lost his ever-loving, dyslexic mind and verbally abused reporters on the red carpet. But now he’s let it go to his beard. I still maintain that he looked cute the day he announced his retirement from male model-…er…acting. But he has neglected to do any beard [...]
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