The horrors of science and parenthood collide in “Splice,” the new film from “Cube” director Vincenzo Natali. It begins when a couple (literally) of hipster scientists named Clive and Elsa (Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley), working alongside their tragically-coiffed assistants, synthesize a cure-all protein for livestock using the phallic animal hybrid creatures that they invented. But, since this amazing new protein won’t help the humans of this world beat their human diseases, Elsa gets a bug up her ass about taking it to the next level. What they need to do, she figures, is throw some people into this genetic recipe. The big old corporation they do science for doesn’t think this is such a good idea, but Elsa convinces Clive that they should do it anyway. You know, just to see if it’ll work. They won’t even bring it to term, she says. What’s the worst that can happen? She forgets, of course, that the gestational period of fantastical creatures is always expedited. Before they know it, their genetic abomination of a love child is born and hopping around the lab making all kinds of trouble. At first, it’s cute trouble, like knocking things over and making a mess. But the trouble gets ugly in a hurry…
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I used to have nightmares about aliens and monsters, mean ex-boyfriends, school and the end of the world. Last night I dreamed I was making breakfast for the whole family. I couldn’t find anything because all of my kitchen supplies had been put back in the wrong place. Things kept boiling over on the stove and making a huge mess. Everyone I was making breakfast for was standing around in the kitchen but no one was helping me. I guess my transformation is complete. My subconscious mind is officially lame.
“I didn’t sign up for this shit,” laments the man known as Sarge in “George A. Romero’s Survival of the Dead.” I know how he feels. I would have been happy with the preexisting Romero films. Granted “Diary of the Dead” was a piece of crap, but all the others were so good. Each one was better than the last. “Land of the Dead,” though at times obtuse, was also a whole lot of fun, thanks, in no small part, to Dennis Hopper. But this review, sadly, isn’t for one of Romero’s good films. It’s for “Survival of the Dead”, the latest film from a once great man. The man who invented the modern zombie is officially senile. Someone really needs to take away Grandpa’s typewriter…
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Dennis Hopper was a great fucking actor. He made every speech he uttered an instant classic. I will miss him. Here are some of my favorites Hopperisms. They’re long but totally worth it.
“I now pronounce you The Devil and his Shorty.”
“I read a lot. Especially about things…and history. I find that shit fascinating.”
“One thing I can’t fuckin’ stand is warm beer, it makes me fuckin’ puke!”
Some people believe that the best relationships are built on full disclosure. They are the sorts who keep a company like Veridical in business. Using clandestine supernatural means, two be-suited individuals will come to your house and air your dirty laundry so that you may start your marriage off right or strengthen an existing one. Two such agents, Davis and Bennett (Ed Gaughan and Andrew Buckley) are the protagonists of “Skeletons,” the surreal black comedy playing at the 2010 Seattle International Film Festival. With a promotion on the line, they’ve been hired to help a woman find her missing husband. Of course, the job ends up being much more complicated than they’d anticipated. And it just may lead to some convenient self-discovery. It’s a cute premise with an interesting execution but it leaves too much of its universe unexplained…
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The P n’ W is a decent destination for dinner and drinks. There are delightful twists on classic apps like the breaded green tomato caprese and the revelatory pretzel crusted cheddar sticks. Their sandwich menu offers not only a competent burger (meat and veggie) but also surprises like the brat burger and the fried green tomato, ham, bacon, egg sandwich. They have a terrific list of micro brews and imported beers to accompany your meal. Save room for cobbler or perhaps a root beer float! Brunch, however, is another story. I don’t normally like to give a negative review based on bad service from one individual. But because the food wasn’t all that great either, it feels warranted. Our toast came out late and was still, somehow, cold and chewy as though it had been sitting around for a while. There was a (thankfully) long hair on my omelet and when I mentioned it, very politely to the already bitchy waitress (after I had eaten most of my mediocre breakfast), her response was “Oh.” I wasn’t looking for a comped meal but an apology would have been nice. I’ll be back for those cheddar sticks. But brunch? Never again.
8412 Greenwood Ave N 98103
X-posted from Not For Tourists.
Space is a dangerous place so you’d be remiss to travel through it unprepared. Fortunately, the Greenwood Space Travel Supply Co. is there to ensure you have everything you need from copious amounts of astronaut ice cream to that all-important map of the (known) universe. They also provide you with creature comforts like Cosmic Kitties, Paper Soap and an Instant Yard to get you through those endless nights out in the cosmos. It’s a cute little shop full of space-themed toys, t-shirts books and knickknacks and the perfect gift destination for cosmonauts of all ages. Oh, and if you’re wondering why a space traveler would need the complete works of Dave Eggers, it probably has something to do with 826 Seattle, the local chapter of non-profit youth writing program he founded. All of the stores proceeds go directly to the kids so you can feel good about that purchase of emergency underpants. That’s not where their community outreach ends. Every year, they also stage a protest against Pluto’s demotion from regular planet to dwarf planet. Someone has to speak up for the little guy!
8414 Greenwood Ave N 98103
X-posted from Not For Tourists.